A Lesson In Release
by Lillie Cullen
Summary: Jasper can't handle the overpowering emotions from Edward and Bella anymore. Jasper decides to teach Bella how to satisfy her own needs. But what will he learn in the process? LEMONS but with a good plot! TwiFi Winner Best Non-Canon Couple!
1. Chapter 1: Lessons Taught

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That honor belongs to Ms. Meyer. I am just borrowing them for our amusement.**

"Edward…please?" I moaned as he pulled away from me, as was typical when we were kissing. It was inevitable. This time, I had made the mistake of licking his lower lip with my tongue as we kissed. I needed him so much and though I tried to be understanding of his fears and his limited self-control, it did nothing to alleviate the urges I had building inside me every time we kissed.

"You know we can't, love. It's too dangerous." Edward sighed as he pressed one last chaste kiss to my lips before releasing me and getting off the bed. "Besides, Alice will undoubtedly burst through the door any second if I don't leave now. We're not going far to hunt, I'll be back by morning. You won't even have time to miss me. Now go back to sleep. If you wake up before I get back, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper will all be around." He leaned over to kiss my forehead and the next instant he was gone.

I flung myself back against the pillows and groaned in frustration. Doesn't he know what he does to me when he kisses my wrist, my neck, my ear, my collar bone? It drove me mad with desire for him, made me feel as though the very core of my being was going to catch fire. I wished he wouldn't be so careful all the time, that he would do something to release this almost painful craving within me.

Just then the door opened and closed again. For a split second I thought Edward may have changed his mind but when I opened my eyes, I realized it was an entirely different vampire standing inside the door. "Jasper? What are you doing in here?"

"Bella, can we talk for a minute?" Jasper pleaded, his voice barely a whisper.

"Oh, of course," I replied hesitantly. "What's wrong?"

Without a word Jasper walked over to Edward's sound system, put in a CD, and turned the volume up a little louder than necessary. He then came to sit on the side of the bed by me. Instinctively, I drew the covers a little tighter around me.

"There's no need to be nervous, Bella. I won't hurt you. In fact, I want to help you. I NEED to help you." His voice was still barely above a whisper and sounded so desperate it confused me.

"I don't understand, Jasper. Is something wrong? Has Alice had a vision?"

Jasper laughed nervously. "No, Alice hasn't had a vision. And I pray to God she doesn't." Huh? "Bella, you know that I have the ability to project and manipulate emotions, correct?" I nodded silently. "Do you also know that I absorb other people's emotions, feel them as though they were my own?" Again, I nodded. "Good. So could you possibly understand how the intensity of yours and Edward's feelings for each other might be rather difficult for me?" His eyes pleaded with me to understand.

"How could our love for each other make you uncomfortable? I mean, you love Alice just as strongly, right?"

"Yes, I do," Jasper sighed, as though he were hoping to not have to explain. "But I didn't mean your love, I meant your lust. I know exactly how aroused you are right now, how frustrated you are that Edward is unwilling or unable to satisfy your needs. I also know that he feels the same desire you do, but for him the overpowering emotion is always fear. He really holds back purely out of fear of hurting you, although both Carlisle and I have tried to convince him that wouldn't happen. Regardless, the end result is an unending sexual tension that is about to drive you insane, if it doesn't drive me insane first."

My face flushed with embarrassment, and I pulled my knees against my chest to hide my face in them. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I had no idea. I don't have to stay here anymore, I'll just have Edward come to Charlie's with me, it's just that I love you all so much and…" I was babbling and I knew it. Thankfully Jasper cut me off before it got worse.

"No Bella, that's not what I meant. We all love you too and I would never ask you to leave. I simply meant that perhaps you would allow me to…alleviate…some of the pressure you're feeling. Give you a release, so to speak." He said it so softly I could barely believe what I was hearing.

"WHAT?! Are you out of your mind, Jasper? Are you honestly proposing that I sleep with you? I would NEVER do that! I love Edward! And how could you? You love Alice!" My head shot up to glare at him, but he simply put a finger to his lips in a silent plea for me to lower my voice.

"Rosalie and Emmett are…otherwise engaged…which is definitely NOT helping how I'm feeling right now, by the way…so they will not be easily distracted but they will most certainly notice if you continue shouting. And for the record, I KNOW how much you love Edward. As much if not more than I love Alice. But as I said before, I am not talking about love, but lust. Trust the empath when I tell you they do not always keep the same company."

"They do for me." I whispered back, only slightly calmer.

He seemed to ponder this for a moment before speaking again. "I can see where that may be the case for you. So let me propose something else. It's actually something I asked Alice to do for you some time ago but she said you would not be receptive to it coming from her. Allow me to…teach you to relieve the pressure yourself. Believe me, we would both feel immensely better if you did."

I put my head back between my knees. This could not be happening. "Oh. My. God. Does Alice know you're here?" My head was swirling with the onslaught of thoughts in my head, each one worse than the last.

"No, my decision to come speak to you was rather last minute, and while she is on the hunt, she gives herself over to her instincts and her visions tend to take a back burner. I am hopeful that if we conclude our lesson by morning, she may never be aware of it."

Jasper tentatively reached out and touched my elbow, cupping it in his hand and rubbing my forearm gently with his thumb. "It's nothing to be ashamed of Bella. You have needs, it's perfectly natural. I promise I will be as much of a gentleman as the situation will allow. You would not have to expose yourself at all, and I will not touch you, unless of course you asked me to," he said with a nervous chuckle. I moaned and hid my face further behind my hair, but he reached out and tucked it behind my ear. "I'm sorry, I was only teasing. This is rather embarrassing for me too, you know. I wouldn't ask if I thought there was any other way. But I can't take it anymore, Bella, I just can't. Help me, please. Will you let me teach you?"

I sat there silently contemplating his words. I could not deny the truth in them. I had a burning desire that was getting worse with every passing day, and no real way to release it. I was making Edward's life increasingly difficult with my attempts to push his boundaries, and apparently I was making Jasper's life increasingly difficult as well with these consuming emotions. But I had no idea what to do with them. I was sure that they taught...masturbation…in sex ed at school but I blocked it out. It was just too embarrassing. So if it was too embarrassing to watch on some educational video at school, could I really attempt to do it myself, and in front of Jasper, no less? On the other hand, I had to admit that he most certainly had enough experience to be able to talk me through it, he did promise to be honorable, and it would help everyone involved. With great trepidation, I slowly nodded my head.

"Okay," he stated, much calmer than I expected, moving to the foot of the bed as far away from me as possible. He leaned back on the footboard, one leg folded up under him, the other dangling off the edge. "Do you have a bra on, Bella?" I nodded my head yet again, unable to speak or make eye contact. "Take it off," he commanded gently.

"But you said I didn't have to get naked…"

"Bella, please trust me. Don't you know how to take a bra off without removing your shirt? I thought they taught every girl how to do that in eighth grade or something. Take it off."

I did as I was told, and tossed my pale pink bra onto the floor by the side of the bed. "Pink, huh? I never would've guessed…" his voice drifted off.

"Jas-per." I cried.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." His voice sounded totally sincere. "Now, lay back on the bed. Good. Close your eyes and put your hands on your stomach. Feel how soft your skin feels there for a moment." His voice was authoritative, almost academic. No sign of underlying emotion at all. It made it easier to do as he asked, focusing only on his words. I tentatively reached my arms under the blankets and lifted my t-shirt just enough to lay my hands on my stomach. Jasper was right, I never realized that my skin was so soft there. I began lightly running my fingers back and forth across my stomach just above the waistband of my pajama bottoms, tracing small circles over my skin. It felt amazingly pleasant.

"How does that feel, Bella?" Jasper's silky voice cut into my reverie.

"Good," I admitted timidly.

"I thought so. Now I want you to move your hands slowly upward and lightly caress your breasts. Trace your fingers around your curves." A fresh wave of embarrassment flashed through me.

"I don't want to manipulate your emotions, Bella. I want you to feel for yourself the power you have within you to satisfy your needs. There is no need for you to be embarrassed about touching your own body. Just give in to it."

My hands began to move upwards of their own volition. When I reached the space between my breasts I swept my fingers around the bottom curve outwards toward my sides and then upwards and around, drawing increasingly smaller circles until they lightly caressed my nipples. They immediately hardened in response to the tingling sensation trailing where my fingers roamed.

"Good. Now take one of your nipples in between your thumb and your forefinger. Gently knead it, squeeze it." Jasper's voice, though still authoritative, had taken on a slightly huskier tenor. When I did as he commanded, I felt a rocket of arousal shoot through my body unlike anything I had ever felt before. I became aware of an increasing wetness between my legs, soaking my underwear.

"Does…does that feel good, Bella?" His voice was now strained, barely a whisper in the dark.

"Yes, Jasper. It feels so good. I had no idea this could feel so good." My voice matched the timbre of his.

"Now do the same to the other nipple. Tug on it a little, see if you like that sensation as well." Another bolt of lightening shot through my system as I followed his instructions. My head began to rock back and forth unvoluntarily.

"God, Bella!"

I was suddenly alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"I was so stupid. I should have realized that your arousal would only continue to build, that this would get worse before it got better. I… can't take this." His voice was now pained.

"Do you need me to stop?" I asked, suddenly unsure what to do, propping myself up on my elbows to look at him, his silhouette slumped in the corner, his head hung low. I was so focused on my own pleasure I failed to see how this could distress him. After all, he was feeling everything I was, as well as everything Rosalie and Emmett were feeling across the hall.

"No. You need to do this. We both need for you to do this. It's just…would you mind if…I touched myself? You won't see anything, I promise." Now it was Jasper's turn to be embarrassed. For some reason, the idea of Jasper touching himself while telling me how to do the same only served to increase the ache between my legs.

"Of course not, Jasper," I replied huskily, a mixture of arousal and shyness. "I actually like that idea." I laid back down and clamped my eyes shut. I heard him breathe a sigh of relief and then the quiet sound of a zipper opening.

"Now, where were we? You were squeezing your nipples. Put your finger into your mouth, get it wet, and do it again. A little harder this time."

As I put my forefinger into my mouth and licked my tongue around it, I heard Jasper inhale sharply. "That's it, sweetheart." The kneading sensation on my nipples combined with the now cool moisture was completely different than what it felt like a moment ago, and I liked it even better. I was able to more comfortably move my fingers in a swifter motion and with more pressure. I arched my back into the sensation and began rubbing my thighs together, writhing under my own touch.

"Pull your pajama bottoms off." By this point, all embarrassment had long since left me. All coherent thought had left me. There was only this moment and the sexy commanding voice at the other end of the bed that I could not deny. I took them off easily under the covers and tossed them aside.

"Good girl. Now run your fingers along the outside of your panties over your core." God, I was so wet, my underwear was clinging to me and I could feel my swollen folds throbbing under my touch. I traced a pattern up and down desperately wanting to hear his voice again as the bubble of pressure inside me continued to build.

"Please…Jasper. I need more."

"Take your panties off, Bella." There was no more academia in his voice. It echoed my desire.

I quickly removed my panties, tossing them next to my bra.

"God, Bella. I can smell your arousal from here. You smell delicious. Are you wet for me, darlin'?"

"Yes. So wet."

"That's good, baby. We're almost there. I want you to take a single finger and run it up in between your folds. Slowly. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," I replied softly as I responded to his request, "Anything you say. Oh God, Jasper!" My hips bucked in the air against my hand as I reached a sensitive spot.

"That's your clit, darlin'. Rub your thumb against it for me. Tell me how it feels."

I did as I was told and was overcome with the sensation, a guttural moan escaping from deep in my throat.

"Tell me, Bella."

"It feels so amazing, Jasper," I moaned.

"I'm glad," he chuckled softly, "It's only going to get better from here. Spread your legs for me. Wide. Take one finger and put it inside you."

I hesitated. Could I really do that? Jasper sensed my doubt. "Just do it, darlin', trust me. Imagine your finger to be what you most desire."

As I slid my finger inside, my body instantly responding to finally being touched in the way it had craved for so long. The warmth, the incredible softness, the tightness around my finger, it felt so good. I moaned again. "Now thrust your finger in and out for me."

I could hear what I could only describe as a rubbing sound in the background and realized that it was Jasper touching himself in sync with the rhythm of my finger. It was such a turn-on, I instantly sped up my thrusts.

"Put a second finger in. Curl them inside you upwards towards your belly button." The increased stretching made it easier to feel every sensation, to feel my palm come in contact with my clit with every thrust causing the most delicious torture I had ever known. Suddenly I touched a spot deep inside me with my fingertips that sent my body flying into the air begging for more. My other hand grabbed the sheets, desperate to hold onto anything to ground me.

"Jasper! Oh Yes!"

"That's it, baby. Again. Harder, Bella." Jasper growled. The next thrust sent me even higher and I completely abandoned myself to the feeling.

"I'm so close, Jasper!"

"Keep thrusting, darlin'. Faster. Rub your clit with your thumb. Squeeze your nipple with your other hand. That's it. Come for me!"

A few more frantic thrusts of my fingers and I tumbled over the edge into the sweetest oblivion I had ever known. At the same moment, I heard Jasper groan with his own release. "Oh Bella!" As the bubble of pleasure dissipated into peaceful satisfaction, I found myself suddenly exhausted and covered in a sheen of sweat. I curled myself into a ball under the blankets and hugged a pillow.

"Thank you, Jasper. So much." I felt the mattress shift as he got up and walked over to me. Surprisingly, he bent down and sweetly kissed my forehead.

"No, sweetheart, thank _you_. You have no idea how much better I feel."

"Anytime," I mumbled contentedly, unconsciousness overcoming me quickly as Jasper headed for the door.

"I just might have to take you up on that. Sweet dreams, Bella."


	2. Chapter 2: Lessons Failed

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I am just borrowing the characters for our amusement.**_

_**A/N: Okay, so this was going to be another lemon one-shot, but it kind of took on a life of it's own. Turns out Jasper had a lot on his mind. Don't worry, there'll be lots of Jasper/Bella lemony fun soon! Let me know what you think!!!**_

_**Three weeks later.**_

**Jasper's POV**

As I reclined on the couch in my study, I glanced over to Alice, who was sitting sideways on the leather chair, her legs dangling comfortably off the arm, engrossed in the latest fashion magazine. She looked up and smiled at me demurely before returning her attention to whatever article she was reading that would inevitably cost me money. Not that I really minded, whatever made her happy made me happy. I chuckled softly and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. Immediately, though, my mind began to drift, as it had constantly for the last three weeks, no matter how hard I tried not to let it.

…_are you wet for me, darlin'?..._

…_anything you say…_

…_spread your legs for me…_

…_Jasper! Oh yes!..._

…_Come for me!..._

…_Oh Bella!..._

…_Anytime…_

I had proposed the lesson out of desperation, an honest need to bring some relief to this delicate situation for Bella, Edward and myself. I had vowed to myself to remain detached, I was merely an instructor for Bella, pure and simple. But somewhere along the line it changed and had morphed into the single most erotic experience of my entire life – and I hadn't even touched her! Hell, I didn't even see her! Well, that's not entirely true. I saw her slim body writhing under the covers. I saw the blanket rise and fall as her fingers dove into her entrance, stroking myself to the same rhythm, imagining it was me inside her. I saw her face, her beautiful face, eyes closed tight as her first orgasm ever racked her body in ecstasy. That image was what threw me over the edge right along with her. Bella was always lovely, but in the throes of passion she was absolutely exquisite. I would give anything to be responsible for that look on her face one more time, just for me. Was it just for me, though? Or was she thinking about Edward? A surge of jealousy ran through me and I swallowed hard to suppress it. I had no right to be thinking about Bella this way, desiring her the way that I am. Jesus, what is wrong with me?!

This was supposed to help matters, not make them worse. It did help, at first. Bella's frustration level immediately lowered considerably, as did mine, providing some temporary relief to the strain on my system. Edward was not so lucky. When he returned home from hunting, the smell of her arousal still hung heavy in the air and Bella was asleep wearing only a t-shirt. I could only assume he realized that she had pleasured herself in his absence because his own arousal immediately increased astronomically. Unfortunately he made no effort to act on it and his lust quickly pushed me to the brink of disaster with desire for Bella. I left the house to hunt as quickly as I could without arousing suspicion and stayed away for three days. I was ashamed of how my mind saw her face every time I closed my eyes, of how my body reacted to that vision. I avoided Edward as much as possible so he wouldn't read my thoughts. I could only list the generals of the Confederate Army in my mind so many times before something was bound to slip.

Bella, for her part, never mentioned what happened. She had taken to staying at Charlie's whenever Edward hunted. That's where she was now. I wasn't sure if I was grateful or saddened by that. I wanted so desperately to talk to her about it, but I knew that it would be inappropriate and ill advised. Still, I couldn't help but wonder if she was feeling the same way I was. Her level of sexual frustration had slowly built back up and returned full force in the past three weeks. It was obvious she was not using the lessons I had taught her.

Alice shot upright in her chair, jolting me back to reality, eyes glazed over in a vision. She snapped out of it a moment later and flashed me a sad smile.

"Are you alright, Ali?" I truly loved this woman, and sometimes I cursed her power. It often caused her pain, panic, or sadness.

"I'm fine, Jazz. It's nothing." She put a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Okay, if you say so. But you know I am here for you if you want to talk, right, darlin'?" …_Keep thrusting, darlin'…that's it, baby…_ Damn, Jasper, get a hold of yourself. Focus!

"I know. Let's talk about something else. You know what we have never talked about in all our decades together? The definition of infidelity. What do you think constitutes cheating, Jasper?" Does she know?! No, she couldn't. Her question was open, her emotions showing no hostility, just curiosity and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I gave her an honest answer to an honest question. "I don't know. I guess I would have to say… intercourse." Although I did have guilt over my impure thoughts about Bella, I honestly didn't feel as though I had been unfaithful to Alice. I knew where the line was in my mind and although I hadn't stayed as far away from it as I had planned, I hadn't crossed it, either, even though I wanted to.

Alice contemplated my response for a second. "I would agree with that. And kissing on the mouth, I would think that would be cheating. It is too emotional, too personal. Wouldn't you agree?"

Where was she going with this? She obviously had a direction she was gearing the conversation towards, but I had no clue where or why. I decided to play along. "Yes, I would agree with that."

Alice sprang from her chair, feelings of relief emanating from her. How odd. "Good! Now that that's all cleared up, I'm going to go check on Bella. Edward's being an idiot again." Before I could even reply, she was gone in a flash, the breeze from her preternatural speed blowing the pages of her magazine up in her wake.

**Bella's POV**

Edward had turned me down and left to go hunting again, and I was certain this time I was going to spontaneously combust. Instead, I broke down crying and I couldn't seem to stop myself. As many times as he has told me it's only because he's afraid of hurting me, it did nothing to curb the rejection I felt every time he pulled away, chastising me for even making the attempt. Even more than the rejection, though, I just felt frustrated and unsatisfied.

I kept replaying the night of Edward's last hunting trip in my mind. I had tried to touch myself again like that, on several occasions, in fact, but it didn't work. I couldn't bring myself the same kind of pleasure as I had that night. I finally concluded that it was because there was something different, something missing. Jasper. His voice was so commanding, so sexy…just like him. It turned me on so much. I hadn't really realized the shift in my perspective until he told me to put my finger inside of myself. …_Just do it, darlin', trust me. Imagine your finger to be what you most desire… _And imagine I did, but it wasn't Edward I was imagining merging with me in the most intimate way. It was Jasper, hovering over me, cold muscular chest grazing the peaks of my hardened nubs, blond hair surrounding his face like a golden halo as he looked at me, eyes full of tenderness and desire as he silently begged permission to enter me. UGH! Stop! You should not be thinking this way about your boyfriend's brother, your best friend's husband. Thank God Edward can't read my thoughts. It was a waste of time anyway, there was no way Jasper would ever be attracted to me. No, he was simply trying to do a good deed, strange as it was, and hopefully bringing himself a little relief in the process.

"Alice!" I cried as my pixie vampire best friend hopped through my bedroom window. I sniffled again, wiping my eyes and nose on the sleeve of my pajama top. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you!" She sat down on the side of the bed next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I leaned into her embrace gratefully as she laid her cheek on top of my head, stroking my hair.

"I had a vision of Edward thwarting your advances once again, and then of you crying, and then…And then I decided to come check on my little sister. He's an idiot you know. We all think so."

I began sobbing uncontrollably again. "What's wrong with me, Alice? Am I that undesirable? Am I that ugly?! He's always talking about his lack of self-control, but believe me when I tell you his self-control is iron-clad! It's me who has no control anymore…I want to be with him so badly, Alice, but he just doesn't want to be with me."

"Now, now, you know that's not true. Edward loves you. And he does want you, how could he not? You're beautiful. He's only trying to keep you safe. When you lose control and he pushes you away, it's only because he's trying to protect you from yourself. He doesn't think you fully comprehend the danger involved." Alice was rubbing small circles on my back in a gesture I am sure she thought would be comforting, but only served to increase my irritation at that moment.

"Protect me?! *_sniff* _From myself! _*sniff* _That's right, poor Bella, the stupid _*sniff* _human who knows nothing, who must be treated with kid _*sniff*_ gloves like an infant! GAH! I'm so sick of that!" I started hyperventilating in earnest. I wiped my nose on my shirt again.

"Bella, you need to calm down, honey, your emotions are completely out of control right now. Would you like me to send Jasper over here to calm you down while I go talk to Edward?" I had to admit, a few waves of calm sent my way wouldn't be such a bad idea right now. I nodded. Alice hung her head for a moment in seeming resignation, then her face returned to its former look of love and concern. "Okay, on one condition. Tomorrow I will be dropping off some presents for you, and I don't want a single word of complaint. Deal?"

"Deal." I knew better than to fight a losing battle with Alice.

She got off the bed, walked over to the dresser and took out a pink silk tank top and matching pajama shorts outfit from the drawer. It was something she had bought some time ago for me and it still had the tags on it. "Here, put this on. You don't want anyone seeing you with snot all over your shirt, do you?" I shook my head. She threw one leg over the window sill and turned back to look at me. "I love you, Bella, you know that right? I always will, no matter what."

"I love you, too, Alice. Thank you for being the best sister a girl could ever hope for." With that, she hopped out my window, but not before muttering something that sounded an awful lot like 'you have no idea.'


	3. Chapter 3: We've Got Tonight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just playin' around.**

**A/N: WOW! I can't believe the response to my story! THANK YOU!!!! I am going to be responding to all the reviews later today with a preview of the next chapter to show my appreciation. Enjoy!**

**Jasper's POV**

'Edward's being an idiot again,' Alice said before she left to check on Bella. What the hell does that mean?! If he hurt her again, I'll… zzzz zzzz I dove to retrieve my cell phone before it vibrated off the coffee table. Alice. Thank God.

"Hello? Alice? Is everything okay?"

"Hey Jazz. I'm going to go find Edward and see if I can knock some sense into him before this gets any more out of hand. You need to go to Charlie's and calm down Bella. She's hysterical."

"Hysterical? Why?! What did he do this time?" I knew I should be doing a better job of hiding my emotions at that moment, but I didn't seem capable of it. Anger was boiling up like a volcano about to erupt.

"The usual. Pushing her away, making her feel rejected, crushing her already delicate self-esteem, all in the name of protecting her. Oh, and don't make the mistake I did of mentioning how he feels the need to protect her from herself – that really threw her into a tailspin."

Well, I could certainly understand that. Actually, it's one of the things Bella and I have in common. No one in our family seems to trust either of us. They all constantly feel the need to protect us from ourselves to the extreme, Bella from her clumsy, danger magnet ways, and me from my lack of control. In fact, the only person in this family who has ever truly shown me any level of trust was Bella.

"Oh, and Jazz, I'm going to keep Edward out of Forks until at least 10am tomorrow, just so you know. I'll keep him out of my head, too. But you might want to come up with something better than the generals of the Confederate Army if you want to keep him out of yours. I don't think Edward has the same _definitions_ that you and I do."

Huh? Oh. OH! OH NO! Suddenly the lightbulb went off in my head and it was all making sense. "Oh, Alice. What did you see?" Sadness and guilt flooded my voice.

"It's okay, Jazz, really. I've looked at the alternatives and there's no other way. Trying to fight it will only tear us all apart. You've got tonight. But starting tomorrow you and Bella have a strictly long-distance friendship for a while, agreed? There's only so much I can take, even for the ones I love."

"Agreed," I said softly. "I love you Ali, so, so much."

"I love you, too. Now go get her, Cowboy," Alice said with a small amount of fake enthusiasm before sighing. "Seriously though, Jasper, make the most of it, for both of you. Get it out of your system. You only get one shot at this. See you tomorrow." The line went dead. I stood there holding the phone in my hand, staring at it like a crazy person as time stood still. Did that conversation really happen? What the hell did Alice see? Then finally the thought that shot me into action and sent me racing towards town faster than I've ever run before – I've got to get to Bella!

As I ran, I made the decision to push all thoughts of guilt or of Alice or Edward out of my mind. I was strictly going to focus on Bella tonight, and deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes. I would abide by the guidelines I had unknowingly agreed to with Alice, of course, but I would make no other promises to myself. Tonight, I was going to worship Bella the way she deserved to be worshipped and show her the true depth of my desire for her. In every way that was possible to us, I wanted to be hers and for her to be mine.

As I climbed the tree outside her window, I paused for just a moment. Even with her bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks, she was the most breathtaking goddess that ever lived. She was standing in front of her dresser mirror brushing her hair, her cheeks flush, her lips a glorious shade of pink. She was wearing a pink silk tank top and matching silk shorts pajamas that complimented her porcelain skin and glided over her every curve. Even from the tree I could see her tiny, taut nipples, a slightly darker shade of pink, pushing through the delicate fabric. I thought back to the bra and panties she had tossed by my feet during our last encounter and smirked. I don't care what they all say about blue – pink is definitely her color.

"Jasper!" Bella looked up at me with a sigh of relief. I resisted the urge to run to her as I hopped inside her window. Instead, I just stood and stared at her, drinking in her image for what seemed like forever before slowly walking towards her until we were only inches apart, her chocolate eyes never leaving mine. Slowly I reached up and cupped her cheek in my hands, wiping away her tears.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. It'll be alright, you'll see." I pulled her to me in a tight embrace and let her cry it out against my chest, her tears staining my shirt as I rocked us back and forth. It was then I realized that it was not just desire I felt for Bella. It was love. The reason I had been so overwhelmed with Edward's emotions for Bella, both his love and his lust, were because they simply amplified my own feelings for her. I struggled to hold it all in, I did not want to manipulate Bella in any way. I wanted her to show me how she really felt. Right now, it was too hard to tell. There were so many feelings raging through her like a hurricane – pain, rejection, self-loathing, sadness, despair, frustration, hope, comfort, lust, and love. But for whom? Dare I hope that even a small portion of that love and lust is for me? I had to know.

"How will it be, Jasper? How will it be alright?" She begged between sobs, clinging to me for dear life. I gently took her by the elbows and led her to the edge of the bed to sit next to me.

"One day soon Edward will wake up and realize what an incredibly beautiful, sexy, irresistible woman he has and when that moment arises he won't be able to keep his hands off of you." I didn't really want to bring Edward up at all, but she needed to work through this and I wanted to comfort her, be there for her first and foremost.

"Sexy? Irresistible? Pfft. He does just fine resisting me, let me tell you."

"I don't." I did not mean to say it out loud and yet there it was.

"What did you just say?" There was no going back now. This was the point of no return.

"Bella, let me show you how irresistible you are." For one brief second I let open the floodgates and let her feel every ounce of love, lust, and unbridled desire I felt for her.

Her eyes widened. "What was that!"

"That, my dear Bella, is what I fight against every moment I'm with you, and every moment I'm not. That is my want for you. My need for you. My love for you."

"Wow," she said softly, still looking down at her hands. "I thought it was just me."

I gently lifted her head with my finger, desperate to regain eye contact. "You thought _what_ was just you, Bella?" I am sure that the hope I felt was dripping in every word and I didn't care. The piece of my heart that forever belonged to Bella was laid out before her to do with as she pleased, be it pain or pleasure. When she didn't answer, I prodded gently, "How do you feel about me? Will you let me feel what you feel for me?" Without saying a word a wave of love and desire hit me like a tsunami and I was saved. I grinned from ear to ear, and her face lit up into the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

As much as I was loath to do it, though, we had to come back to reality for just a moment. Bella needed to understand the rules and limitations of our ethereal bubble. "Bella, I need to explain a few things to you and then I would like us to make a pact to not speak or think of anything else the rest of the night but you and me. Is that alright?" Bella nodded her head in response. "I want to spend tonight basking in our love and desire as much as possible, because the physical aspect of our relationship cannot extend beyond tonight. Regardless of how we feel about each other, you love Edward and I love Alice. Our destinies lie elsewhere and neither of us want to tamper with that or damage our family in any way."

"Alice! She'll see! They'll know!" Bella was in an instant panic. She, like I, did not want anyone to be hurt in this.

"She already knows. She had a vision about us together. Actually, she has given us her blessing, of sorts, with a few restrictions."

"Blessing? Restrictions?" I could completely understand the emotions coming from Bella now – bewilderment, disbelief, confusion. That's exactly how I felt when I got off the phone with Alice. In the last hour everything in my life, our lives, had taken on a very surreal quality.

"Yes, we cannot kiss on the mouth and we cannot have intercourse. As much as I would love to do those things with you, I think it is a more than fair compromise on her part and one I gladly made." Bella said nothing, just nodded her head emphatically in agreement. "And as we've already proven, there are many other ways for us to be intimate." Ah, there's that beautiful blush. "Oh, and starting tomorrow you and I are restricted to a 'long distance friendship,' to use her words, for awhile. So there it is. 'We've Got Tonight' as the song goes."

"What song?"

"The old Kenny Rogers song, 'We've Got Tonight'. You've never heard it?" Bella shook her head. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her onto my lap so I could softly sing her the song. I practically whispered it to her, singing in her ear so each word was a caress, each breath was a slow seduction, kissing and nibbling her earlobe between every line as my fingers wrapped themselves in her soft tresses. My free hand began a slow journey from her cheek, down her neck, across her shoulder, down her arm, committing every detail to memory before taking her hand in my own.

_I know it's late and  
I know you're weary  
I know your plans  
Don't include me_

_Still here we are  
Both of us lonely  
Longing for shelter  
From all that we see_

_Why should we worry  
No one will care, girl  
Look at the stars, now  
So far away_

_We've got tonight  
Who needs tomorrow  
Let's make it last  
Let's find a way  
Turn out the lights  
Come take my hand now  
We've got tonight, babe  
Why don't we stay?_

By the time I stopped serenading Bella, she was shivering in delight, pressing her ear against my mouth for relief, which I gladly provided. "It's perfect." She whispered back to me as I slowly lowered her onto the bed. _Yes, it is._

**_A/N: So, what do you think? _**


	4. Chapter 4: Who Needs Tomorrow?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just showing it's characters the joys of the dark side.**

**A/N: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who has reviewed, added this story to your alerts and your favorites. I love you all! A special thanks to Raychelle, who seems to know exactly what I'm thinking.**

**THERE BE LEMONS HERE! SERIOUS LEMONS! If you are bothered by them, skip to Chapter 6. I'll give you a pg-13 recap there before moving on. If you're up for some lemony-fun, by all means, read on!!!**

**Jasper's POV**

Gently, I lifted her to lay her head on the pillow before lying beside her, propping myself up on my elbow. Bella turned on her side to face me and I began licking and nibbling her neck, tracing my lips along her jawbone. I softly ran my fingertips up and down her side. "Mmmmm…" Bella purred in response to my touch. That sound alone was enough to set my body on fire. I stopped for a moment to calm myself, I wanted to take things slowly tonight, not just let our overpowering sexual frustration drive us into a frenzy.

"Are you okay? Don't stop! Don't leave!" Bella was already anticipating the rejection she was sure would follow. There also seemed to be a small amount of fear, and not just of me leaving.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not stopping, I'm not leaving. And I'm not going to bite you, at least, not enough to draw blood." She raised an eyebrow at me and then laughed and rolled her eyes. "It's odd, in fact. There's no desire for your blood whatsoever, only for _you_. I just want to take our time, make it special, that's all. Bella, I was thinking…why did you not use any of the lessons I taught you that night?"

"How do you know I haven't?"

"Empath, remember? I can feel the sexual frustration radiating in your body, the passion desperate for release. It's been steadily building back up since that night."

Bella turned her head away from me, embarrassed. "I tried, a few times. I couldn't do it. It just didn't work."

"Why not?" I didn't want to force her to look at me until she was ready, so I took to caressing her shoulder and kissing every inch of skin I could touch there while I waited for a response.

"Because you weren't there." My arousal for her instantly became painful with that one sentence. She turned to look at me and I got lost in her eyes. I had to fight the almost irresistible urge to kiss her.

I grabbed her by the hip and slid her against me, me on my side, her on her back. She put her arm around me and slid her hand under the hem of my t-shirt, drawing circles on my back with her fingertips. It was heavenly.

"Let's do something, then. Let's make a memory. I'll help you pleasure yourself again, and then when you're alone and I can't be here, you can think back on this moment to help you find your release."

Bella's eyes twinkled in delight. "I'd like that!"

"And you know what I like best about this idea, outside of the fact that this time around I get to touch you? Since I'll _know_ when you've released the pressure, so to speak, I'll know you were thinking of me without either of us ever having to say a word. And you'll know I'm thinking of you, too."

"It'll be like a part of you will still be with me," she replied in agreement.

"A part of me will be, Bella, always." I began kissing her neck again in earnest, licking and caressing her collarbone. Soft as a feather I dropped lower, kissing one nipple gently through the fabric, wrapping my lips carefully around my teeth before catching it between them, savoring the sensation of it hardening and tightening to my touch before repeating the movements on her other nipple. My fingers floated over her stomach, slowly making their way up to trace the curves of her breast. "Perfection," I mumbled against her before blowing a cool breeze over the now wet areas of her top. Another soft moan emerged from Bella's lips.

"Bella, would you mind if I took off my jeans? They are a little…uncomfortable at the moment." I wouldn't imagine she would mind, but I had to be a gentleman about it.

Bella giggled at me, "Of course not, Jasper." I was up and returned to my former position with just my t-shirt and my boxers on before Bella had the chance to blink. I lifted Bella up for just a moment so I could slowly lift her tank top up over her head and lay her back down. I caressed her lower lip with two fingers, tugging down slightly so she understood my meaning. Bella opened her mouth and allowed them entry. The feeling of my fingers in Bella's mouth was indescribable. Her lips wrapped around them; the heat, the moisture was pure bliss. She shocked me when of her own accord she took my hand and began moving my fingers in and out, flicking her tongue around them in the most erotic way imaginable. My erection pulsed in response, straining against my boxers. My head flopped back, I closed my eyes and a soft purr ruptured from my chest.

"You like that?" Bella asked with a surge of self-confidence.

"Oh yeah, darlin', more than you could imagine. Put two of your fingers in your mouth. Do to them what you did to me. Pretend it IS me."

Watching Bella close her eyes and suck on her fingers, knowing she was picturing me in their place, was a hundred times better than the image I had been holding onto for weeks. _What I wouldn't give to have those lips wrapped around my…Cut it out, Jasper. This is for Bella._

I cupped her left breast in my hand and took her nipple between my fingers and began kneading it, gently at first but slowly building pressure, gauging Bella's reaction to learn what type of pressure she liked best. I pinched it gently and she inhaled sharply. A wave of arousal hit me like a ton of bricks. "Take your fingers and rub your other nipple between them as I am." I felt Bella's hip twitch against me as she responded to the sensations she and I were creating. I squeezed a bit harder this time. "Tell me how that feels."

Bella moaned, "It feels so good, Jasper."

"Good. Don't stop." I bent down and began leaving soft moist kisses along the curve of her breast, across her abdomen, pausing to flick my tongue around her belly button, causing yet another soft moan from Bella. I was beginning to think that was the most beautiful sound in the world. I placed my hands on her hips, putting my thumbs under the waistband as I traced patterns from one hipbone to the other with my tongue before blowing a cool breath over the trail. Bella began caressing my scalp and running her fingers through my hair. I purred again at the warm, tingling sensations she created.

I lifted her hips gently and began slowly removing her pajama shorts, splaying my fingers to caress as much of her legs as possible. Bella bent her legs for me so I could continue to suck the soft skin near her hipbone while I removed them. When I reached her ankles, I guided them even closer to her buttocks before caressing my way back to her knees, caressing them with my thumb before pushing them apart to spread her legs. The powerful scent of Bella's arousal hit me full force, and I stared with hunger at the moisture soaking through her pink lace underwear. _There'll be plenty of time for that, later_, I reminded myself as I dragged myself back up level with Bella. Her eyes were closed, her focus on the pleasure that both she and I were generating inside her. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, then one on each of her eyelids. I then lowered my forehead into the crook of her neck and she leaned her head onto mine. "Oh, so warm. That feels wonderful, Bella." I took her hand and lowered it to the inside of her thigh just above her knee, placing my own above hers.

"Feel how sensuous your thighs are. Run your fingers up and down." I squeezed our hands gently, then allowed her to direct our motion. She took her time lowering her hand from her knee to the top of her thigh, then took her forefinger and mine and ran them inside the edge of her underwear upwards along the seam, then back down.

"Shall we remove these for you, darlin'?" When Bella moaned her approval I surprised her by shifting us so that she was straddled between my legs, her back against my chest. I then took both her hands under mine and guided them down her stomach around the back of her hips to her panties and then we removed them together, our fingers intermingled. If I thought the skin on her neck or thighs was soft, it was nothing compared to the silken intoxication of her ass. "You have a magnificent body, Bella." I lightly grabbed her behind with our hands as we pushed the fabric free of its purpose. Bella gasped in pleasure and laid her head back against my shoulder. The sensation of her hot breath rolling on my neck was amazing. For the second time I had to struggle against the urge to kiss her. So I settled instead on placing a chaste kiss on her forehead before laying my cheek on top of her head.

"Find your clit, Bella, like you did before. Roll it under our fingers, play with it for me." Bella's breath hitched and her heart skipped a beat when she found the sensitive bundle of nerves she was seeking. The chill from my fingers contrasted sharply with the heat she was generating and Bella seemed to enjoy the sensation. I was lost, utterly lost in the moment. I had never in my life felt anything as wonderful as I did then, in between her soft folds, the moisture from her arousal swirling around our joined fingers as we massaged her clit together. Bella's back arched against my chest and her hips lifted into our hands, desperate for more.

"Faster, Bella. Harder." My voice came our husky, desperate. Bella's response was immediate, her fingers guiding mine in tight, rapid circles around her clit. I pinched it ever so lightly with my thumb and her forefinger and she bucked into our hand in response. I could sense she was close.

"Oh God, Jasper! Please, more, I need you so bad…" If it was at all possible for her not to feel my erection pressed against her lower back before, there was no doubt she had to feel it now – it jerked and pulsed to those precious words.

I gently applied pressure to her knee with my free hand, spreading her open even further. "You know what to do, darlin'. I want to feel you wrapped around our fingers." Bella startled me with the force she used, plunging mine and her middle fingers deep inside her core. I found my heaven there. We moaned in unison and Bella began thrusting our fingers in and out at a frantic pace, the palm of my hand slapping against her clit with every turn. I slipped my index finger inside her to join the other two. "That's it, baby. Close your eyes and pretend it's me. Come for me now, Bella!" One curl of my fingers against her g-spot and her walls clenched around us as she screamed my name. "Jasper!" I changed my mind – THAT was the most beautiful sound in the world. As the spasms died down, I oh so gently removed our fingers and laid my hand still on top of her swollen folds to sooth her as she floated down from her orgasm, relishing the hot throbbing sensation and the occasional muscle twitches in the aftermath of her release.

"Better?" I whispered into her neck, returning to the gentle kisses on her earlobe as her heart rate returned to normal, contentment radiating from her now along with the desire.

"Uh huh," was all she could say as she turned her attention on me, kissing my neck and flicking her tongue around my Adam's apple. I ran my fingers lightly up and down her spine, making a mental note to explore that area further later tonight.

"Think that will make it a little easier to do it on your own?"

"Uh huh," she grunted in between kisses.

"Good. But that's just the beginning, darlin'." With vampire speed, I flipped us over so she was on her back underneath me.

**So, was the lemon worth the wait? There's one, probably two more chapters before this evening is over. **


	5. Chapter 5: Let's Make It Last

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I wish I did. **

**A/N: I just want to thank all my loyal readers and reviewers, and all the people who put it me on story/author alert you know who you are -- you all mean the world to me! I loved all the guesses for Alice's present -- the one about chains to hold Jasper down with had me laughing so hard I was crying! Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!**

**At the suggestion of one of my favorite readers, iwantededwardtobemine, I am adding the following warning: Extremely hot sexual content...do not read if you are at work. LOL Enjoy!!!**

**Jasper's POV**

With vampire speed I flipped her onto her back beneath me, placing rapid kisses all along her collarbone. Bella reached down my back and began tugging at my t-shirt. I sat up a little and allowed her to remove it, savoring the sensation of her warm fingers running up my chest. As she tugged the shirt off, she held it to her face for a moment, inhaling deeply before tossing it aside and returning her hands to my chest and back, running them over every muscle, teasing my nipples to diamond-like points.

I returned where I left off, flicking my tongue around the hollow of her throat before continuing my explorations lower. I took her breasts into my hands and squeezed them, relishing the feeling of them in my palms. I gently ran my thumb across her nipples and they instantly hardened again under my touch. Taking one nipple into my mouth I began sucking and tasting her, loving the feeling of her pebbling under my tongue. I moved to her other breast and repeated the process, this time biting it gently. Bella wrapped her fingers in my hair and moaned.

Her lust for me was sweeping over me like waves. I let loose my defenses and allowed my own lust to flow through her. "Jasper!" Bella sat up in a flash and I instinctively sat up and wrapped my arms around her as she flung her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. I was not unaware of her breasts smashing against my chest as her breath came in jagged heaves.

"Can I let you feel my desire for you as I feel yours? Your lust for me only intensifies my own for you. I want to do the same for you, let it flow between us freely. It's not truly manipulating your emotions, just sharing them in a more literal way because of my gift. Would you like that?"

"Yes, Jasper, I would. That felt incredible. But you could warn a girl, you know?" I kissed the tip of her nose lightly before I gently pushed her back down by her shoulders.

"You're right, darlin'. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you," I said with a chuckle as I began trailing kisses down her stomach. "Now, where was I headin'?" I continued my trail of kisses across one hipbone, over her belly button, to the other hipbone. It was there I noticed that I had left a strawberry colored mark where I had been suckling her skin before. _Damn, I didn't mean to do that_. Still, the fact that I had marked her as mine, however temporarily, turned me on. I licked the spot before sucking on it again. Bella seemed to enjoy it, because the lust swirling between us increased, as did the scent of her arousal. I lowered myself to her knees, kissing one, and then the other before slowly, deliberately, kissing my way up the inside of her thighs towards the apex of my heaven.

As I reached the top of her thighs, I could see the juices spread over them and I greedily licked them clean before turning my full attention to her sex, glorious before me, her lower lips pink and throbbing, glistening with her arousal. "God, Bella, you smell so good, and you taste even better. I may never hunger for blood again." I licked her folds upward, taking in the hot, sweet nectar pooling between them before finding her clit with my tongue. I flicked it, then sucked on it just long enough to cause a new pool of juices flowing before thrusting my tongue inside her entrance, in and out with steadily increasing rhythm, teasing the tight ball of nerve endings with my finger while my other hand grabbed her hip to hold her steady. Bella began tugging at my hair, bucking her hips into me, moaning my name over and over.

"Bella, look at me." She was rocking her head back and forth, but didn't answer me. The passion flowing back and forth between us at this point was palpable and I knew she was close to reaching her climax.

"Please, darlin', open your eyes. I want to see you when I make you come for me." I slid two fingers inside her and began curling them inside her as I thrust, searching for her sensitive spot as I licked and nibbled on her clit. Bella's head jerked up and her eyes flew open. She removed her hands from my hair and propped herself up on her elbows, grabbing the sheets beneath her for support.

I continued thrusting, rubbing her clit with my thumb, adding a third finger as I wrapped my free arm around her to grab and knead her behind. I moved my body upwards to recapture her nipple in my mouth and bit it tenderly, our eyes locked in each others. With that, Bella exploded with passion, her walls clenching and unclenching around my fingers, her clit throbbing as her head flew back and she screamed my name once more. "Oh God, Jasper! Yes, Yes!" As wave after wave of ecstasy from her climax hit me, I threw them back at her coupled with my own building desire and she instantly came again, harder, her whole body arching upwards, quivering for the longest moment before collapsing back onto the bed.

I scooted back up with the intention of cuddling her, soothing her down from her orgasm again as I had earlier but this time around Bella had other ideas. Bella pushed my chest to show me she wanted me to lie on my back and I willingly complied. Bella laid herself completely on top of me, her legs on either side of mine, her feet resting on my calves. I was engulfed in the heat radiating from her body and my arousal jumped yet another level. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat, which when combined with the hard surface of my body, allowed her to slip and slide over me with ease as she kissed and licked and nibbled my ear, my neck, my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my hands on her butt as I reveled in the sensations she was creating. "Mmmm…you taste as good as you smell."

"Not as good as you, darlin', I'm sure," I replied as I buried my nose in her hair.

"Hmmm, I wonder," she mused, as she looked back up at me and, with a wicked grin I would have never expected to see on my Bella, she deliberately licked her tongue in a circle around my chin, which had been dripping in her juices not moments ago. Nothing in my very long life has ever turned me on more. I reached down and cupped her ass, holding her tight as I bucked my hips against her, forcing a very sexy moan to escape her gorgeous lips. How I wanted to kiss her, to feel her tongue dance with mine, to learn how different her mouth tasted from the rest of her. I could feel her arousal soaking through my boxers and coating my engorged member, reducing the friction between us there as well. She seemed to realize this, too, and ground her hips against me in a circular motion.

"Bella," I groaned, as she took my chin in between her lips and sucked gently before licking me clean.

"Not as bad as I thought," she said with a giggle before lowering her head and returning to my neck. She methodically treated every inch of my chest to the joys of her lips. I watched her in awe as she nibbled playfully at one of my nipples with a mischievous look in her eyes. The sensation was powerful, shooting all the way between my legs, causing me to jerk upwards against her stomach.

Bella trailed her fingers down my stomach slowly as she turned her attention to my other nipple, sliding her hand under the elastic of my boxers. I growled instinctively. Bella just smiled around my nipple as she bit a little harder and wrapped her fingers around my cock.

"Bella!" My eyes snapped shut and I laid helpless before the temptress above me as she ran her fingers up and down my length, delicately at first, then firmer, twisting her palm back and forth as she stroked me from the base and worked her way up. When she slid her thumb across my tip, spreading the moisture she found around it, I came undone. I needed to get as close to her as I possibly could without breaking the rules.

I flipped her back over onto her back and ripped my boxers off. Bella's wide eyes traveled down my body, resting between my legs. She swallowed hard. "Oh my," she whispered. I smiled with pride – she seemed to like what she saw. I spread her legs open gently and crawled between them, my elbows on either side of her shoulder. I could feel her breasts grazing against my chest and it caused shivers of pleasure up my spine. Bella was staring at me with such tenderness, not even blinking. I felt a powerful wave of love and longing, followed by a much smaller dose of confusion and fear. I kissed her forehead gently and caressed her cheek with the back of my hand.

"Bella, I want to try something. I want to get as close to you as possible without breaking the rules. Will you let me?" She nodded at me, and another consuming wave of lust crashed into me, forcing me to close my eyes and lower my head for a moment as I took it in, brushing my cheek against hers. Once I regained control, I looked back up at her and smiled. "You just need to promise me one thing, darlin'. Don't. Move. If this is going to work, you have to be absolutely still. Can you do that? Promise?" I knew that for what I had planned, one wrong move of my lover's hips and all would be lost.

"I promise," she whispered, her voice husky and full of need.

I lowered myself onto her, careful to not put my full weight on her, and ran my hand between us. I caressed her core again gently, running one circle, then two, around her folds with my fingers before spreading them gently. I grabbed my penis just below the head and placed it at her entrance. Bella inhaled sharply and her heart skipped a beat. I held still for a moment until she exhaled, breathing my name. I resumed my ministrations, sliding the tip of my cock up between her slick lips to caress her clit, then back down again, running around the rim of her entrance before going back up again. Each time I put the slightest pressure on her entrance, careful not to actually enter her. Bella did not move her hips, but began thrashing her head back and forth almost violently as the pressure inside her quickly built to new heights. Her hands flew to my back and she began clawing and scratching me. My own pressure was to the point of being painful, an exquisite torture. I slid my tip upwards again and then readjusted my hips so that her folds were now wrapped around my cock, which was pressed firmly against my stomach. I pushed her knees upward to ensure I could put enough pressure against her pelvis to maintain the precarious position, grabbed her hips to steady her and thrust slowly upwards, rubbing her sex down my entire length. We moaned in unison. I returned slowly back down, careful to not move my tip far enough below her clit that I could accidentally thrust into her, and lifted back up again, a little faster. This was as close as I could get to making love to Bella, and it was fantastic. She was fevered beneath me, and I let our passion overtake us, moving faster and faster as the emotions swirling around us reached a frantic pitch.

"I'm, Jasper, I'm, again, Oh God!" I could feel Bella's clit begin to throb and I struggled to hold back my own release for just a few seconds more. Bella screamed my name as a powerful orgasm exploded within her and I screamed hers a second later. I had to jerk away quickly and wrap myself in the bed sheet to keep from shooting my release all over her. I had never come so hard in my life, and I collapsed next to her, completely satisfied. For a creature with a body like granite, she had turned me into jello.

Bella curled up against me and snuggled her head into the crook of my neck, one arm and one leg thrown lazily across me. I wrapped my arms around her, laid my cheek against the top of her head and began tracing patterns up and down her spine. I memorized everything about that moment, her scent, the feel of her warm, beautiful body against me in all its naked glory, her breath against my neck, her heart pounding against my side. But more than any of that, I memorized her smile, the sweet, satisfied smile that I had seen after her climax weeks ago. This time, I was certain that it was only for me. We laid that way for some time, not wanting to move or even speak, until I felt her start to shiver. I leaned across her and grabbed my t-shirt off the ground, pulling it over her head quickly before we resumed our former position. I pulled the covers over us, but not between us. I needed to feel her skin against mine for as long as possible. I glanced at the clock. 3am. Never before in my vampiric existence did I want to slow time as much as I did then.


	6. Chapter 6: Alice Balboa

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just having some fun with it for a while.**_

**_A/N: For those of you who skipped the lemons and came straight here, the cliff notes version goes like this: Jasper and Bella are having the night of their lives, were about as intimate as they could get without breaking the rules, and bonded emotionally as well._**

_**Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the forest…**_

**Alice's POV**

I tried Edward's cell phone but got his voicemail, so I set off running. _How could he be so stupid? Doesn't he realize what he's doing? If he doesn't get his act together soon, we are both going to lose the ones we love. Forever. Bella and Jasper don't want to hurt us, I know they don't, but my visions are clear. The harder Edward pushes her away, the harder she falls right into Jasper's willing arms. _

As soon as I got the vision of Jasper and Bella, I tried thinking of a thousand different ways to prevent it. Nothing seemed to work. In fact, everything I tried seemed to make it worse. The end result was always essentially the same – me, alone and devastated. Actually, in most of them we ALL ended up alone and devastated; Jasper and Bella's guilt would drive them apart as well. The only way I saw to prevent that ending was to allow tonight to happen, to permit it even, and try and do damage control. It was killing me, absolutely killing me. The pain in my chest threatened to tear me to shreds. _What are they doing right now? Don't do that to yourself, Alice, you know EXACTLY what they are doing right now! _UGH! I wished that I could cry, that I could vomit, something, anything to make this all just a bad dream. I needed to stay focused. This was the only course of action where the end result was unclear, was hopeful. Something in my gut tells me that's because I am powerless to stop this. The only one who can fix this is Edward.

After about half an hour, I caught a whiff of Edward's scent. I saw him in the distance sitting down against a boulder, the remains of a mountain lion a few feet away. Time to kick him out of my head. There's nothing Edward hates more than Britney Spears. _Boy, you don't try to front, I, I know just, just what you are, ah ah. Boy you don't try to front, I, I know just, just what you are, ah ah, you're nothing but a, womanizer._ "Hey, Edward," I said out loud as I sat down beside him.

"Britney?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.

"Don't ask me, I heard the stupid song on the radio earlier today and I can't get it out of my head." Not a complete lie, they have been playing that song on the radio. A lot.

Edward rolled his eyes at me. "Thanks for sharing."

"Anytime. Listen, brother dear. We need to talk."

"About what?" Edward genuinely seemed curious. He really had no idea about the state he left Bella in, did he? Schmuck.

"About Bella. I think you need to give some serious consideration to taking your relationship to the next level."

Edward looked at me warily. "What do you mean, Alice?"

"What I mean, Edward, is that Bella has needs. Physical needs. Needs you are failing to meet and you are driving her insane and breaking her heart repeatedly in your denial of them."

Edward got up in a huff and stormed a few feet away before turning on me.

"Mine and Bella's physical relationship is none of your business, Alice. Bella knows why we can't. She understands." His tone was biting, and I am sure he thought that it was meant to signal the end of the discussion. _Fat chance_.

"She might tell you she understands, but I'm her best friend and I'm here to tell you she doesn't. Every time you pull away she feels unwanted and rejected. Not to mention incredibly sexually frustrated." If Edward could have blushed, he would have. He averted his eyes downward and kicked an invisible can.

"Alice, this discussion is entirely inappropriate. Besides, I thought you of all people would be on my side about this. You know it's impossible. What if I hurt her? What if I killed her? I would never forgive myself. It's just not worth the risk."

I stood up and tried to take a deep, calming breath. I knew this was all pointless but I had to try anyway. "Edward, I don't think it's impossible. You open doors without crunching the handle. You write without breaking the pencil in two. You play the piano without turning the keys to dust beneath your fingers. You are able to kiss her, hold her hand, caress her cheek without breaking her. This would be no different."

"Yes, Alice, it would! Damn it! Think about it. I have been without that type of intimacy for over one hundred years. How am I to know how I would react? I do know what I have seen, overheard in other people's thoughts, and it's pretty clear that you get caught up in the moment and forget all else."

"Wait a minute. Is this because you're worried about hurting her, or because you're worried you don't know what to do?" If he is causing all this drama over stage fright, I'll kill him. Or send him to the Mustang Ranch with Emmett. Something. Okay, I wouldn't really, but I could think about it.

"I COULD KILL HER!" he roared.

"Edward, I understand you're scared, but you would never hurt her. If you would only try, you would see that. You can't ask her to spend the rest of her life with no type of release."

Edward's head dropped as though in shame. "She does have a type of release, I think. I'm pretty sure the last time we went hunting that Bella…pleasured…herself." Luckily, I didn't have a vision of that encounter, but I heard Jasper and Bella talking about it in my latest vision and I got a pretty good idea what happened. My vision. Of Jasper with Bella. The one becoming reality at this very moment. _Shit. Boy, you don't try to front, I, I know just, just what you are, ah ah…_

Edward's eyes narrowed at me and for a moment I thought I'd let something slip. "Alice, what are you hiding from me?"

I decided the best lies were the ones closest to the truth. "I just had a vision of something like what you're describing, and I'm sure Bella would not want you to see it. She'd be embarrassed enough if she thought I knew. Now stay out of my head."

"I'm sure you're right. Thank you for respecting her privacy." Edward said simply, his face expressionless. You would've thought that the idea of Bella touching herself would have turned him on in the very least, but if it did, he did a very good job hiding it.

"Edward, that gives me an idea. If you don't think you can handle touching Bella, maybe you could handle you and her touching yourselves in each other's company. You know, mutual masturbation. That might be a way for you to increase your intimacy with one another while staying within your comfort zone." _Goodness knows it did wonders for her and Jasper. Crap, did he hear that?_

Edward's anger stunned me. "Alright, Alice, that's enough! It's bad enough that Carlisle, Emmett and your husband feel the need to give me 'the talk' on a regular basis. I'm sure as hell not going to stand here and listen to you, too! The thought of my Bella doing something like that, of me doing something so vulgar in front of her, it disgusts me! That is not how a gentleman and a lady are supposed to act! How could you even suggest such a thing?!"

I couldn't help myself. I really couldn't. The idea that there was something wrong with ME for suggesting he have a physical relationship with the love of his life. The realization that nothing I could say would get through that thick head of his. The pain in my heart over the things going on at that very moment that I couldn't bear to think about, even if Edward weren't in close proximity. And the hard, cold, fact that it was all HIS fault combined to create a rage in me I hadn't felt since our run-in with James. The next thing I knew, I stomped over to Edward and punched him square in the jaw with such force that he flew backwards into the boulder. The rock cracked in two and fell apart at the seam behind him. Edward just stared at me, wide eyed and stunned, rubbing his jaw.

I never swear. I just don't. But I was mad beyond belief and I'd already been accused of not being a lady anyway. "You are a fucking idiot, Edward! One day you're going to realize how stupid you truly are. I just hope when you do, it's not too late." _For both our sakes._

"I'm going to go pick up Bella, Edward. We'll meet you back at the house by 11." I turned on my heel and flew off in the other direction. _Okay, 9:30am. Time to help them wrap this up and cover their tracks. God, I can't believe I'm doing this. How much longer could I pretend that this wasn't shattering my soul into a million tiny pieces? At least I can take comfort in the fact that Jasper and I are leaving. Tonight. I know it won't solve the problem permanently, but it will give me a little more time to sort this whole mess out. There's got to be a way to help Bella without losing my Jazz in the process. I just need to figure out how._ With a sigh, I pulled out my cell phone and sent Jazz a text message.

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	7. Chapter 7: Let's Find a Way

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I'm just borrowing the characters for our amusement.**

**A/N: So I couldn't let their evening end without one last, little lemon. I hope you enjoy! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I got so many chocolately good reviews it felt like Halloween! The hot cocoa was fabulous, WonderfullyMade, by the way. THANKS! :)**

**Jasper's POV (3am)**

Bella grabbed the collar of my t-shirt and brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply. "It smells like you. You smell wonderful, Jasper."

"I do? Really? What do I smell like to you?" I thought vampires were the only ones focused on scent, but apparently not.

"It's hard to describe. Like…magnolias and juniper and something else, pecans maybe."

"One of the few human memories I have is of the house I grew up in. In the front yard it had a huge magnolia tree, and I loved to climb it. My father had hung a rope swing from it and I could play on that tree for hours. When I got older, my favorite place to sit and read was up against the trunk of that tree, especially in the spring when the scent from the blossoms hung thick in the air."

"I can picture you like that. What books did you like then?"

And so we continued, reveling in each other's company, completely at ease, just basking in the afterglow of our passion. We snuggled and talked about everything and anything, her life back in Phoenix, my time in the war, books, music, movies. Anything except the future. Neither of us wanted to say anything to disturb this tiny universe we had created for ourselves. Eventually, Bella gave in to exhaustion and kissed my chest once more before she drifted to sleep. 5am. Five more hours, maybe a little less to be safe. That was all the time we had left, I thought with a pain in my heart. I stroked her hair gently, removing the knots from our interlude with my fingers. I traced her cheekbones, her nose, her lips with my fingers and thought once more about placing my lips against hers. It was so difficult to refrain from kissing her, even more difficult than not making love to her had been. I closed my eyes and focused on listening to her heartbeat, more beautiful than any concerto.

Bella began talking in her sleep, saying things like "better than my dream," and "Wow. Just Wow." I smiled smugly at that. I couldn't have put it better myself. 'Wow' was a very good way to describe how our evening had gone. "Oh, Jasper, stay" she sighed, and even through her dreams I could feel the sadness. It mingled with my own. I kissed the top of her head and looked at the clock. 8am. I knew I should let her sleep, but I was too selfish. We didn't have much time left, and I needed to make it last. In no time at all, I would have to release Bella, forever.

"Bella, sweetheart, wake up." I placed small kisses all over her face, everywhere but where I wanted to. Groggily she came back to me from dreamland. "Hmmm, Jasper, what time is it?"

"It's 8am, beautiful. I need to leave by 10 at the latest, possibly sooner. Should I let you go back to sleep?"

"No. No! It's okay, now, I'm awake. I'm glad you woke me up. I would hate to regret sleeping away our last two hours together." I was so glad she wasn't angry at me for waking her.

"So, what do you want to do with our last two hours?" Bella answered by straddling my lap, taking my earlobe into her mouth, sucking and nibbling on it before blowing a breath over the moisture with a giggle when I visibly shivered.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" I laughed as I started tickling her sides. Bella laughed hysterically, holding onto my shoulders for support, bouncing up and down in my lap. The laughter stopped abruptly when she accidentally rammed her hips into mine, causing an immediate reaction on my part that I am sure she felt. I was paralyzed with the enormity of her lust.

Bella looked down demurely, glancing back up at me through her eyelashes. "Can we try something, Jasper?"

"As long as it doesn't break the rules and can be done in two hours or less, anything." Bella pushed me back down into the pillows and positioned herself between my knees. She was staring at my hardened member, biting her lower lip, not saying a word. I waited for a moment for her to process whatever it was she was contemplating. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Bella?"

"It's just so…_big_," she whispered. Fear, indecision, and lust swirled around her.

"Bella, I'm not sure _exactly_ what you're thinking, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

The unsure look on Bella's face was quickly replaced with the mischievous grin of my seductress from the night before. With no notice at all, she lunged at my hip, to the exact spot where I had marked her and began sucking furiously. I couldn't help but chuckle. "It won't work, darlin'. Not that it doesn't feel wonderful, because it does." She seemed to have decided to go for the kill, because she wordlessly took a hold of my erection and with no further adieu took the head into her mouth. She licked and sucked me, hard, stroking the remainder of my length with one hand, fondling my balls with the other. I purred in response, which turned into a low growl when Bella's eyes looked up to meet mine with me still firmly in her mouth. It was an amazingly erotic image, only made better when Bella growled, actually growled, back at me, sending hot vibrations up my body. I directed a massive wave of lust at her and she slid her mouth further down my shaft, flicking her tongue frantically. Her hot mouth, magical tongue, and luscious lips felt like nothing I had ever felt before. I laid my head back and locked my fingers underneath it. I knew that this was something Bella needed to be in control of and if I reached out for her I wouldn't be able to stop myself from grabbing her head and setting the pace for her. Instead, I just closed my eyes and let the feelings overtake me as Bella began to become more comfortable, gaining speed and depth with every thrust of her head. Only once did she go deeper than she could handle, hitting the back of her throat and causing a gagging reflex. Still, she didn't relent and the pressure under the surface built up quickly under her attentive ministrations.

"Bella, I'm not going to last much longer," I moaned. "Let go when I tell you to, okay?"

"Umm Hmm," she hummed without releasing me, flicking her tongue around my cock before biting down gently. That was all it took to send me over the edge.

"Now!" I growled, and she lifted her head, licking her lips with satisfaction. I jerked away from her and covered myself with the bed sheet as my hips thrust with my orgasm. "Oh God Bella!" Once I had wiped myself clean with the sheet, I tugged it off the bed and threw it to the floor before laying back down and taking Bella back into my arms with just the comforter above us. "That was incredible, darlin'. Thank you. Was that your first time doing that?"

"Yes," Bella said shyly. Edward was right about one thing, Bella is even more beautiful when she blushes.

"You'd never know it, darlin'," I kissed her forehead. Pride and satisfaction radiated from her as she snuggled back into the crook of my neck. I looked over at the clock, now the bane of my existence, and groaned. 9am.

"What happens now?" Bella asked me with tears in her eyes.

"What do you want to happen?"

"I don't know," she answered with a sniffle.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. We don't have much time left, I don't want to waste it seeing you sad. I don't know where we go from here, Bella. We've agreed to not see each other for a while, although I get the impression that we'll still be able to talk on the phone if you want to."

"Of course I'd want to!" Bella said indignantly.

"That's good, I want that, too, very much. I think it would kill me at this point to be away from you and not be able to hear your voice or know how you're doing. And we've already come up with a secret way for you to let me know when you're thinking about me." Bella blushed hot red against my chest, which made me smile. "Beyond that, I think that we need to try and lock this away in the back of our minds, focus on being there for each other as friends. We owe it to…them…to try and concentrate on rebuilding those relationships after this."

Bella didn't say anything for a moment, and I felt the silent tears roll off her cheek onto my chest. Her emotions were so conflicted, just like mine. I just hugged her tighter and let her cry it out. If I could shed tears, I would have been crying, too.

"Jasper, would you sing to me again?" Bella looked up at me, pleading.

"Of course, sweetheart." I pulled her tight against me, cupped her cheek in my hand, looked deep into her eyes and sang the first song that came to mind.

_I'll need time, to get you off my mind, and I may sometimes bother you, try and be in touch with you, even ask too much of you, from time to time_

_Now and then, Lord you know I'll need a friend, 'till I get used to losing you, let me keep on using you, 'till I can make it on my own_

_I'll get by, but no matter how I try, there'll be times you know I'll call, chances are my tears will fall, and I'll have no pride at all, from time to time_

_They say, there will be a brighter day, but till then I'll lean on you, that's all I need to do, 'till I can make it on my own._

_But till then, Lord you know I'm gonna need a friend, 'till I get to losing you, let me keep on using you, 'till I can make it on my own. _

I was afraid the song choice would upset her, but Bella's smile grew the entire time I was singing, pleased with the unspoken promise in the lyrics that I was not at all certain I was going to be able to keep. I just wanted her to know that this was hard on me, too. I leaned my forehead into hers and we shared breaths for a moment. Just then my phone vibrated on the floor, indicating I had a text message. I leaned over Bella to retrieve it from my jeans pocket. It was from Alice. I flipped the phone open to read "Just One Kiss." I showed it to Bella and she smiled even brighter, taking the phone from me and tossing it towards the foot of the bed before wrapping her arms around my neck. I smirked at her as I lowered my head slowly, slowly, until our lips were so close I could feel the electricity passing between us. As she closed her eyes in anticipation, I couldn't help but tease her a little. "I don't know, Bella." She looked up shocked and disappointed before seeing the grin on my face. A flash of determination ran through her before pulling me down to crash my lips into hers.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered a quote from a movie about the most perfect kiss in history. I am certain this one blew them all away. It started slow and gentle, chaste, just enjoying the sensation of our lips touching, moving softly in sync, our fingers in each other's hair. Then it started to build in passion, urgent in its intensity. I licked Bella's lower lip to request entry, which she eagerly gave. Our tongues caressed and explored each other in perfect harmony as we moaned into each other's mouths, our hands suddenly everywhere and nowhere at once. She tasted sweet, intoxicating, like how I imagined strawberry wine would taste. I felt like a dying man devouring his last meal. Gradually I became aware of Bella forcing herself to breathe in and out through her nose. She, like I, did not want anything to end this kiss, not even breathing. I slowed the kiss back down but Bella's heart rate continued to falter until, regrettably I felt I had to end it for fear of her passing out. As I slowly pulled my head away from hers, our lips stayed touching, reaching for each other as if they were magnets. I chanced one more quick peck, a punctuation mark to our kiss, before I sat back up, putting her back between my legs so she could lay back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she placed her hands over mine. I bent my head down and placed kisses along her ear, her jaw, the neckline of my shirt. I leaned my chin on her shoulder and pressed my cheek to hers.

"If you like this t-shirt so much, it's yours. The only thing more beautiful than you in my shirt was you out of it." I felt Bella blush and looked up at her. She was looking back, smiling tenderly at me. Our eyes locked together for an endless moment. Until my cell phone vibrated again. "Help her get the sheets and comforter in wash." _Damn. _Our ethereal bubble popped and reality came crashing down around me. Time stands still for no one, and it had just run out for Bella and me.

"I've got to go, Bella. Come on, let me help you change the sheets and start the laundry." I hugged her tight and we stood without a word, stripped the bed, threw them in the laundry and put fresh linens on the bed.

When we finished our task, I pulled her into another hug and held onto her as tight as I could, burying my head in her hair, breathing in her wonderful scent, caressing her back. My phone vibrated again. "Time to go. Tell her to get a shower."

Regrettably, I pulled away, ran my thumb along her cheekbone and looked deep in her eyes, whispering, "Go get a shower, sweetheart. You need to remove my scent before anyone shows up at your window." Her eyes filled with tears but she didn't shed them. She just set her jaw determinedly and nodded her head. There were no words left to say. I kissed her forehead one last time, jumped out her window, and headed for home.

**In honor of Pamela Cullen, whose reviews always make me smile -- I am revising my previous comment -- Reviews are like chocolate covered strawberries -- 'cause there ain't nothin' better than that! (Except maybe the Cullen Boys naked! LOL)**


	8. Chapter 8: The Gifts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**Bella's POV**

After Jasper left, I hurried to the shower, barely remembering to grab my toiletries. I scrubbed my skin thoroughly making sure to remove all traces of Jasper's scent before collapsing onto the floor of the tub crying hysterically. While I let the hot water soothe my tired body and soul, I tried to clear my head of all these conflicting emotions. I love Edward, I truly do, and if I could have chosen to have Edward doing those things last night with me instead of Jasper, I would have…wouldn't I? I'm not so sure anymore. Not that it matters anyway, because Edward took that choice away from me, made that decision for me. His choice denied me any satisfaction to the stirrings that he himself awoke within me.

That is, until Jasper offered me another choice. A choice that led to the most amazing night of my entire life. I ran my finger tenderly over the nickel sized mark Jasper had placed on my hip. I wondered how long it would last. Luckily for me, I heal slow. Jasper showed me that I was desirable, I was beautiful, I was worthy of receiving love in all its forms. Love. He hadn't actually said those words, but I felt it loud and clear in the emotions he sent rippling through me, and I wanted him to love me, as I did him. Never have I been so confused in my life. When I met Edward, it was as though my world suddenly came into focus and everything had color, and when he left me, there was only grey. Then Jacob came along and he was fun and carefree and everything Edward was not, and I loved him for that, but he could not bring color to my life like Edward did. When Edward came back, I came alive again and thought that there would never be another threaten his place in my heart. But now, there's Jasper, and to be honest, Jasper was everything I loved about Edward and Jacob combined, without any of the bad. He didn't talk down to me, he didn't try to control me, didn't treat me treat me like a child, like a china doll. I was certain he would never hide things from me, never lie to me, never make decisions on my behalf without consulting me. I could picture us on a motorcycle touring the countryside, being wild and crazy and just having fun. I could imagine a life filled with passion and love. Not just color, but fireworks.

Still, just as I know I still love Edward, I know he loves Alice. Alice! How could I even be thinking of Jasper this way? I can't believe Alice agreed to let last night happen. I can't even imagine how difficult that had to have been for her, to know, to see all that and not try and stop it, in fact, to give us her blessing. My mind flashed as I remembered how resigned she looked when she said she would send Jasper over to calm me, right before she got out those pink silk pajamas for me. Oh God! Alice had chosen them for me on purpose! How was I ever going to face her?

I didn't have to wait long for the answer to that question. In my rush to get cleaned up before Edward arrived, I forgot to grab fresh clothing. Luckily, Charlie had already left for the day to go fishing so I just wrapped a towel around myself and headed back for my room. I almost screamed from shock to see Alice sitting in the rocking chair in the corner, a large beautifully wrapped silver box with dark blue ribbon on the floor beside her. Without thinking, I ran at her and jumped into her lap, wrapping my arms around her neck. "Oh, Alice! I'm so sorry! Really, I am! Please don't hate me! Don't leave me! You are my best friend in the whole world and I love you so much! Can you ever forgive me?" I was crying hysterically and I knew my emotions were completely out of whack.

Just like the day before, Alice comforted me. She wrapped her arm around me and stroked my hair, whispering "Shhhh, it's alright, Bella, it's alright. I'm not mad at you, it's not your fault. Don't cry, Bella. I told you yesterday I'd love you no matter what. Don't you remember?"

"But, how?! Last night I…" Alice put a finger to my lips to interrupt me.

"Bella, there will come a time when I will want to talk about it, and I am sure when that time comes that you will answer all of my questions honestly, but that day is most definitely not today. Now, I told Edward I would have you at the house in forty five minutes, you need to get a move on. I laid out some clothes for you. Here are your presents, as promised. I'm going to go ahead downstairs, I'll wait for you in the car. Leave the window open when you come down, you need to air out this room before Edward is here again." With that, she was gone.

I shrugged on the cream colored blouse and black jeans that Alice had laid on the bed, quickly combed out my wet hair, and sat on the bed with the box in my lap. Upon opening it, I was stunned at what I saw. Inside there was a beautiful chest, about the width and length of a shirtbox and twice as deep. It was made of a beautiful dark wood, mahogany, maybe, and carved on the top was an intricate engraving of a magnolia tree in bloom. There was a small brass lock with a tiny key taped next to it. I took it in my fingers and unlocked the box. The inside of the box was cedar and held several items. The first item was a gallon size Ziploc bag. It had a tiny note taped to it which said 'This is for the t-shirt. The box will keep the scent from you-know-who. The bag is so the shirt smells like magnolias instead of like cedar.' The next item was a blue velvet jewelry box with a plain gold chain. The note inside said 'For the key.' Next was a small bottle of concealer with a note that said 'For the bags under your eyes. And for the mark.' After that was a small cardboard box with graphics indicating it held a 'Portable Back Massager.' My face instantly flushed bright red. I didn't need a note to know what that was for.

The last item was a double silver picture frame. On one side was an amazingly detailed sketch of Jasper and I sitting on my bed, me in his t-shirt, him shirtless. I was between his legs leaning back on his chest, his chin on my shoulder, and we both had a look of loving bliss on our faces. I thought back to Phoenix, to how Alice drew my mom's living room in such detail after her vision. This was what we must have looked like in her vision just before we got up. The guilt twisted in my stomach like a knife. On the other side was a photograph of Jasper smiling back at me. Without my permission my fingers traced over his face, running along his cheekbone, around his jaw, and settling over his perfect lips. A small sigh escaped my lips. Alice's car horn immediately blared. Once briefly, then again a second time, longer. I grabbed the t-shirt, folded it and sealed it in the Ziploc bag before putting it in the box with the other items and locking it. I hid the box in the farthest corner of the top shelf of my closet, then quickly shoved the concealer in my pocket, slid the key on the long chain and put it on, which caused the small, cold key to settle just between my breasts under my shirt, and ran to the car.

"So I take it you like my presents?" Alice asked innocently as she backed the Porsche out of the drive and took off like a yellow jacket.

"Yes," I replied guiltily, my eyes staring at my hands wringing in my lap, "very much. Thank you."

"I knew you would!" Alice said, happily, clapping her hands. "Finally, I get to give Bella something without her moaning about it!" At the word moaning, my head involuntarily shot up at her and my eyebrow raised. She just giggled and rolled her eyes. "Okay, maybe that was a poor choice of words, but still!"

I could not understand Alice's nonchalance over this whole thing, and said as much. Alice's mood instantly darkened and she sighed. "Bella, I've been around a long time. I understand the need for physical interaction, for sexual release. Granted, I wish it was someone other than my husband who was able to provide it for you, believe me. But I had been thinking about it long before the vision of you and Jasper. I had tried every method of seduction I could think of to help you get Edward to loosen up… silk nightgowns, sexy lingerie, accidentally dropping your towel in front of him, swimming in bikinis, taking trips together, asking him for a backrub, going dancing at a club. You name it, if Rose or I have used it in our lifetimes, I thought about trying to get it to work for you. Nothing did. Every vision always ended the same way – Edward running and you left crying and broken-hearted. Well, except for the one where you tried to… kiss him somewhere below the neck, shall we say. In that one, he accidentally threw you off of him and you ended up with a concussion. After the vision I had of last night, I decided that Edward was not the only one who lost you when he made us leave, I did, too, and although I am not at all happy about it, I am not going to lose my best friend again over this. I meant it when I said I don't blame you. I don't blame Jasper, either. I know how hard this has been on him. I put the blame squarely on my blockhead brother."

Edward. I sighed and threw myself against the head rest. How were we going to keep this from him? Where do we go from here? Alice already said it was no use trying to seduce him, it won't work. But could I really go back to chaste kisses and not want more? Not long for the pleasure filled world Jasper had opened my eyes to just a few short hours ago? I tried to push the images of Jasper and I together into the back corner of my mind. _Not now. Not here. Jeez, Bella, what's wrong with you?! You are in ALICE'S CAR. On your way to see EDWARD. _

"Bella, I want you to know that Jasper and I are going away for a little while," Alice said softly as we pulled into the drive.

I bolted up in panic. "NO!"

Alice grabbed my hand and squeezed it firmly, not letting go. Her voice was lower now, barely a whisper. I knew it was so our conversation would remain private from the rest of the house. "Not permanently. Just for a short vacation, three or four weeks, tops. I promise we'll be back before school starts. We need some time to…reconnect after recent events. You can understand that, can't you?" Alice looked at me, her eyes begging me. How could I not understand? After how amazingly selfless Alice had been, I could not ask them to stay, as much as I wanted to. My mind flashed with images of all the things they would be doing on their vacation and I swallowed back the ball of jealousy growing in my chest. I had absolutely no right.

"Of course, Alice! How could I not?! And feel free to buy me as many souvenirs as you want," I whispered back with a forced smile, and was rewarded with a big hug as tight as any I had ever received from Emmett. "Alice…need…to…breathe…"

**A/N: I want to thank marshmallowmouth for the awesome suggestion of putting the picture frame in Bella's presents.**

**Survey Says: Reviews are like naked Cullen Boys covered in chocolate sauce holding strawberries in their teeth just for you... :) **


	9. Chapter 9: Letting Go

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just having some fun with it.**

**Many, many heartfelt thanks to icrodriguez for the perfect song for this chapter. You must listen to "YO NACI PARA AMARTE" by Alejandro Fernandez while reading the beginning of this chapter. You simply must. Translation, also courtesy of icrodriguez, is at the bottom of this chapter. **

**Bella's POV**

As we walked into the house, I was surprised to find it was empty, except for the sound of sensual Spanish music coming from upstairs. Alice gave me a quick hug and whispered in my ear. "Unless Edward caves tonight, it'll take four days before you quit talking about last night in your sleep." Then she was gone, I could only assume to her room to pack. _Where's Jasper?_ I shook my head to clear those thoughts away and slowly walked upstairs towards the music, emanating from Edward's bedroom. When I opened the door, I found Edward sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked gorgeous in a blood red button down shirt, the top two buttons unbuttoned, and black dress slacks. Without a word, he stood up and crossed the room, took my hand into his to pull me in from the entryway, and closed the door behind me. We stood there for a moment, both of us motionless, his eyes dark and clouded with…desire? "Dance with me," he commanded, his voice low and husky.

Without waiting for a response, he pulled me to him and I crashed against his body. He placed one hand low, very low, on my back and took my hand with the other, placing it over where his heart would be. He stepped into me, placing one leg between my own, leaving no space between us as we began to sway back and forth to the music. I had danced with Edward before, but never like this. This was not ballroom dancing, or the awkward step forward-then back typical teenage dancing. This was sensual, erotic, wonderful. Edward would lean forward when he stepped forward, almost to where my back would touch his knee, then pull us back up when he stepped back and I would crash into his chest once more. Every step we took heightened my awareness of his thigh rubbing against me in the most delicious way. Then he dipped me in a slow, wide circle, pressing his knee into my core as he did, and by the time he pulled me back against him again I was panting. He had to feel the heat, the moisture flowing out of me, soaking my jeans. His breathing was jagged against my ear as we continued this passionate dance. I was certain he could smell my arousal. I could feel the ache in my center return as I longed for more. Dare I hope? Alice had said seducing Edward would not work – but what if he seduced me? We danced this way for what could have been hours, our bodies moving in tandem like gears of a clock, perfectly together. When Edward dipped me again in that tantalizing circle, I moaned his name.

Edward pulled me back up so we were face to face. His eyes were black and full of lust. His breathing, like mine, was unsteady. Unexpectedly, the music stopped. Edward grabbed my hips and roughly pulled my lower body against his and I could feel his arousal pressed against my sex. "I want you, my Bella. I…need you." Edward's voice was low, frantic. I could hear the craving in it, recognized it as the same craving I had carried with me for so long.

"Yes," I whispered back, "please Edward. Yes."

Without another word Edward picked me up by the hips and with our bodies still pressed together carried me to the bed. He laid me down delicately and took his place beside me, one hand holding his head up on his elbow while his other ran lightly up and down my arm, sending chills through me. When Edward bent down to kiss me, I forced myself to hold back, remaining conscious to only give what I received so as to not scare him away. _I didn't have to be like this with Jasper. Bella! Not now, stay in the moment. Edward is finally giving you what you want. Jasper is with Alice. This is what you agreed to. Let him go._ Edward did not deepen the kiss as I had hoped, but his kisses did take on a more urgent nature. It was torture, wanting to bury my hands in his hair, reach out my tongue to caress his lips and beg entry, but I knew better. Edward needed to do this at his own pace. He slowly moved his free hand to my side, tugging at the hem of my shirt to free it from my jeans, and ran just his fingertips under it, caressing my stomach. My muscles clenched with need beneath his fingers and a soft moan escaped my lips without permission. And then, in a flash, he was gone. I bolted upright, searching for him, only to find him standing in the corner of the room, his eyes closed, his fists clenching and unclenching.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I can't. Please understand," he begged. "You do understand, don't you?"

"No, Edward, I don't! Why?! Why don't you want me?" I screamed at him. I shouldn't have been so angry but I couldn't help myself.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, Edward. You are hurting me. Every time you get me all worked up and hopeful, you pull away and leave me like this. That hurts me more than you'll ever know. I'm tired of being rejected." Normally I would have been shy around Edward, but anger empowered me and I pressed forward. "I know you wanted me, too. I _felt_ you." Edward's eyes flashed to mine, shocked at my boldness.

"Of course I want you. I just can't, Bella." Edward turned his back to me to stare out the window.

I stood up and stormed over to him, grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face me. "Why not?! Why don't you want me enough to be with me?"

"I can't, Bella, I'm sorry. Don't push this any further. It is too dangerous." Edward's voice was tinged with anger, whether at me or at himself, I wasn't sure. I wanted to go into the age old argument with him, ask him if it was the bloodlust or fear of injuring me that was holding him back, but I was too exhausted, sick of the same old fight. I already knew what the answer would be, what the inevitable outcome would be. It didn't really matter what the reason was, he wouldn't budge and I knew it.

"Fine. Take me home. I want to be alone," my voice full of resignation and regret.

"But! Alice already arranged it with Charlie, and everyone else is gone for the weekend, we've got the whole place to ourselves. Please don't leave, Bella! Please?" Edward wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I could feel him shaking against me. I almost gave in, but then I remembered Alice's warning.

"No, Edward, I'm sorry. I can't stay. I need some time to figure this out. Please take me home." Without another word, he released me and walked out of the room, leaving me to follow him to the car.

We drove back to Charlie's in silence. When we got there, Edward took my hands in his and pleaded with me once more, "Are you sure, Bella?" I fought to hold back the tears as I nodded my head. He released my hands and grabbed the steering wheel tightly, looking straight ahead as I got out of the car. He didn't even wait for me to reach the door before he drove away.

**Jasper's POV**

I got about half way home before I collapsed to the ground. Leaning against a tree, I tried to process everything that had happened. Bella. Leaving that bedroom, leaving my Bella behind, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But she's not _my_ Bella, is she? She's Edward's. _Edward doesn't deserve her._ I hated the way he controlled her, treated her like a child. How could anyone turn her down, make her feel so little of herself? She is a goddess and if she would allow me, I would kneel at her alter every day for the rest of eternity, offer myself up as a sacrifice to her. Not just because of her body, although just the thought of her body made mine awake with arousal. It's more than that. I enjoyed exploring her mind as much as exploring her body. She was so kind, so caring. She trusted me without hesitation. The way her mind worked was fascinating and I could spend the rest of forever trying to solve the mystery that was Bella. I knew without a doubt that I loved her, was in love with her. I had not told her so, it would have been a betrayal to Alice and to Edward, a line I could not cross, but it was true nonetheless. _Edward is a damn fool._

But as easy as it was to be angry at Edward for his neglect of Bella, I could not feel anything but extreme guilt over my neglect of Alice. Alice had been Mother-friggin-Teresa in this mess. I could not comprehend how she could have been so selfless in her love for Bella and I as to allow last night to occur. My heart broke when I thought of what it must have done to her, to see exactly what would happen and do nothing to stop it. There is nothing I wouldn't do to make it up to her. Is it really possible to love two women so completely? I was forced to acknowledge the truth in that reality. My cell phone vibrated for the fourth time today. "Don't go in the house. Meet me in the garage."

As I approached the house, I could hear the sounds of Spanish music and was overcome with waves of lust. Lust I recognized as Bella's, and not for me. The sharp pain of jealousy almost brought me to my knees. _This is the way it should be. She is meant to be with Edward and I am meant to be with Alice. Let her go._ I ran to the garage and climbed into the passenger seat of the Porsche, anxious to put as much space between myself and the house as possible. Without a word, Alice drove away, neither of us looking back.

**A/N: Emmett has requested we add whipped cream and sprinkles to his naked, chocolate covered sweetness. That's got to be worth a review, right?**

* * *

"YO NACI PARA AMARTE", Alejandro Fernandez

Betray me, forget me, what does it matter to the heart  
If my love is confirmed for you without condition  
Punish me and lie to me, I confess it matters not  
My heart decided long ago who to love  
Your other loves matter not, your past matters not  
I have already forgiven your smallest of mistakes  
Long before you sinned them  
And there is nothing left to do  
I was born to love you and love you with no end  
I know one day the overwhelming flow  
Of your love will reach the sea  
Nothing will detain the momentum to love  
That commands my heart  
I was born to love you, I was born to love you  
Beyond all reason  
You will finally learn, at the end of it all  
To accept my heart, If love is true  
It does not surrender to pain  
I will wait for you, no matter how much you wound me  
Without mercy  
Destiny is engraved, You will be mine and nothing else  
And there is nothing left to do  
I was born to love you and love you with no end  
I know one day the overwhelming flow  
Of your love will reach the sea  
Nothing will detain the momentum to love  
That commands my heart  
I was born to love you, I was born to love you  
Beyond all reason


	10. Chapter 10: Lakes and Chasms

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...wish I did.**

**A/N: This is my longest chapter yet, but there was no good place to split it, and after dealing with an angsty Edward, I thought you might need a lemon! I know I did! Thanks to Mariea 1 and Lead69 for reminding me to have Bella lock her window! Oh, and before I forget again, I promised iloveeverythingtwilight that I would mention her story, True Love Waits. It's a good story about what might have happened if Edward bit Bella on her first day of school. Check it out -- after you read and review this, of course! :) One more thing -- if I didn't respond to your review, please don't be offended. The last chapter got a ton of reviews (Yay!), but I didn't receive e-mail notifications for all of them. I promise I read every review with a smile on my face. Review this chapter and I will respond!!!**

**Bella's POV**

After Edward dropped me off at home I made up a lame excuse to Charlie about why I had canceled my sleepover with Alice and excused myself to my room, where I promptly locked my window before getting ready for bed. I got Jasper's shirt out of the box and put it on before crawling under the covers to cry myself to sleep. As Alice had predicted, my dreams fluctuated between Edward and Jasper. I am sure my sleeptalking would have left little to the imagination.

The next morning a gorgeous bouquet of two dozen red roses and freesia were delivered with a note written in the most elegant script.

_My beautiful Bella – Please forgive me. I know that I cannot give you all that you desire, but please know that I give you all it is possible for one such as I to give to one such as you. I pray that it is enough. Forever yours – Edward._

I scoffed at the note. _Does he really believe that crap? I happen to know for a fact that isn't true, Edward!_ I screamed at him in my head. I threw the card in the trash, and seriously considered throwing out the flowers, too, but thought better of it. They were too beautiful to go to waste, and I knew deep down he believed it to be true.

Edward did not call or visit that day, and once again I cried myself to sleep. My mind raced as I tossed and turned in bed. _Where is Edward? Why didn't he call? What is Jasper doing right now? He's with Alice, you idiot! You remember Alice – his wife, your best friend!_ Painful images of them together flooded my mind. My insides felt like they were being shredded with the conflict raging in my heart.

The following morning the same delivery man arrived with a package. He was instructed to ensure I signed for it before he could give it to me, so I did. Inside was a large blue diamond pendant on a platinum chain with matching earrings. As with the flowers, there was a note.

_My Bella – There are many other ways for me to express my love for you if only you would let me. Forever yours – Edward_

_Is he for real? Does he not know me at all?! _I grabbed my phone and pressed '1' on speed dial.

"Bella, my love? Is that you?" He sounded so hopeful it almost curbed my anger. Almost.

"Are you really so clueless as to compare your refusal to be intimate with me to my not wanting you to waste your money on presents I don't need?" I am certain he had to hold the phone away from his ear with my screaming.

"Not exactly." he answered hesitantly.

"You didn't honestly expect me to accept this gift, did you?"

"No, I expected you to get angry enough to call me so we could work this out." He sounded smug that his plan had worked. It ticked me off even more.

"I'm angry, alright, now come over here and pick up this jewelry before I flush it down the toilet." I slammed the phone shut. Less than five minutes later Edward appeared on my doorstep, looking humble. I was already on the porch waiting for him. Without a word, I handed him the jewelry box, went back inside, and shut the door in his face. I immediately regretted it and opened the door again, but he was already gone.

The next morning the same delivery man appeared at the door.

"This is starting to feel like the twelve days of Christmas" he said to me with a chuckle. I did not find it funny. Something in my glare must have set him off because he handed me the box and stepped backwards off the porch in fear before running to his car.

I opened the box to find a DVD of Shakespeare In Love, a package of microwave popcorn, a bag of Twizzlers, and yet another note.

_Bella – I'm sorry I made such a mess of things. Can we please call a truce? I miss you. Call me if I can come over and watch the movie with you. Otherwise, enjoy and know I am thinking of you. – Edward_

I sighed and called Edward.

"Bella?"

"Give me half an hour to get cleaned up. Charlie's gone fishing, so we can watch it here."

"Thank God. I was afraid I was going to have to find a new courier."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the driver just called me and refused to make any further deliveries to your house. Said something about being certain you would pull the chief's gun on him if he showed up again." He started laughing and I couldn't help but join in.

When Edward arrived exactly thirty minutes later, he looked different. The laughter in his voice from our phone conversation was gone and he looked withdrawn. It reminded me of the three days before he left me in the woods, and it scared me. I curled into him as we watched the movie, and he held me, but stiffly, not at all like I'd imagined after three days apart. We didn't talk about the fight. We didn't talk at all. When the movie was over, Edward kissed me on the forehead and stood to leave.

"Edward?" The fear was evident in my voice. I didn't have the strength to stand. He seemed to know what I was thinking and sat back down beside me, caressing my cheekbone with his fingertips.

"Don't fear, love, I promised you I would never leave you as long as you want me to stay, and I won't. I am just afraid that you will not want me to stay much longer. I cannot give you what you want me to give you. I have tried, and I don't want to try anymore. It is not fair to either of us to…tease… you the way I do when I try and push my boundaries further than where I can go."

"So you won't even attempt to be intimate with me anymore?" Edward shook his head, looking down.

"And you won't consider making me like you so that it's no longer an issue?" The moment the words left my mouth I cringed and waited for the outburst I was sure would follow. I didn't have to wait long.

"You know I can't do that, Bella! I won't damn you for eternity just so we can have sex!" He spit the last word at me as if it were foul. "Have your hormones completely overtaken your brain?" I should have been angry at the insult, at his revelations. I considered briefly telling him everything that happened with Jasper, just to prove it to him that it was possible for a vampire and a human to be physical without bloodshed or broken bones, but I didn't have it in me. I was broken, defeated. I just nodded my head and swallowed back the tears.

"Bella, love, please try to understand. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you over this."

"I understand, Edward. I won't push you again. But I don't want you to sleep with me at night anymore. It is just too hard for me to be in such close proximity with you and not want to express my love for you physically." I knew that it hurt him to hear this, but I had to do it. If this was how it was going to be, then I needed to enforce some boundaries of my own for the sake of my own sanity.

"If that's what you want, I will honor your wishes. But if you ever change your mind, I will be there in a heartbeat." With that, Edward placed one sweet, chaste kiss on my lips and he was gone.

I sat down on my bed that night with no tears left to cry. There was a chasm between Edward and I that we had no hope of crossing, and I had released Jasper to his rightful place at Alice's side. I had never felt more alone.

My phone rang just as I was laying down for what was sure to be another restless night, wishing I could just forget everything and everyone. I was surprised to see Jasper's name on the Caller ID. "Hello?"

"Bella, it's Jasper. Are you alone? Can you talk? I really need a friend right now."

**Jasper's POV**

Alice took us to a cozy one bedroom log cabin deep in Ontario, Canada. It was miles away from the nearest town, set deep within the woods. There were probably five acres cleared around the house, not including the tranquil lake behind the house with a small dock. Near the dock there was a small log storage building with a canoe and fishing gear. Against one side of the cabin were several cords of firewood, chopped and ready to go. A few feet away from the cabin was a small outhouse with a crescent moon cut out of the door. Thank goodness we will have no reason to go in there.

The cabin itself was very comfortable, designed for the avid fisherman. There was a stone woodburning fireplace with a large bass mounted above the mantel. There was a large basket of pine cones and kindling for firestarting, and an antique brass bucket and shovel for the ashes. On the mantel were an attractive collection of beeswax candles and a picture of Abraham Lincoln that appeared to be original. On either side of the fireplace were floor-to-ceiling custom bookcases, filled with old books and antique lanterns. In front of the fireplace was a handcrafted rustic log coffee table and a large, dark red overstuffed and well worn leather sofa. The bedroom housed a gorgeous cherry four poster bed with a dark green down comforter and a beautiful multi-colored quilt, also obviously handmade. On either side of the bed was a nightstand that appeared to have been crafted by the same artisan that made the coffee table, each with a hurricane oil lamp. There was also a dresser and mirror to match the nightstands. All in all it was very quaint. _I wonder if Bella would like this place? _

No sooner had I set down Alice's multiple bags in the corner of the bedroom then Alice attacked me, literally throwing me on the bed before pouncing on top of me, her lips crashing against mine, her tongue demanding dominance as her hands ripped off our clothes with wild abandon. She grabbed me, hard, almost to the point that it hurt and began stroking me with supernatural speed until I thought my eyeballs were going to come out of their sockets. Just when I thought I could take no more, she impaled herself on me, slamming me into her to the hilt. This was not making love. This was Hard. Core. Vampiric. Sex. Primal and animalistic. It wasn't hard to figure out what Alice was doing – every thrust of her hips said the same thing – _Mine. _She was trying to make me forget Bella's name, to make me forget everything except her. I didn't need convincing. I wanted to forget. The entire drive my thoughts had revolved only around Bella and what she and Edward were doing, imagining the worst possible scenarios. My body was literally shaking from pain reliving the lust I felt from them as I approached the house. I needed to forget, to lose myself in Alice, and so I did, or at least I tried.

I flipped Alice onto her hands and knees and plunged into her from behind, grabbing her hips and pulling her into each thrust mercilessly. She screamed my name in ecstasy as her walls clenched around me, but I did not relent. I pounded myself as deep into her as I could go, over and over again. I grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her back up against my chest and wrapped my free arm around her hips to hold her steady as I continued slamming into her. The hand that had been in her hair moved to her breast, grabbing it roughly before squeezing and twisting her nipple just enough to send her over the edge yet again. This time, I exploded within her as she came. As soon as I released my hold on her she collapsed on the bed beneath me. I blew cool, soothing breaths over her neck and back for a few moments, riddled with guilt for not being more gentle with her. Alice shocked me when she rolled over and looked at me, her eyes black with desire. "Again," she growled, and I complied.

For days, we christened every surface, wall and floor of the cabin. It would require extensive repair work before we left. But every time I closed my eyes I saw Bella, imagined it was her sheathed around me, her lips I was kissing, her arms holding me tight. So I pushed Bella from my mind, focused on not closing my eyes, staring only at Alice, my Alice. She needed this, needed me, and deserved my undivided attention. Alice was my wife and I loved her desperately. So why did I feel so guilty? Why when I let my mind wander did I feel like I was betraying Bella?

It all came abruptly to an end after what was probably the fourth day. Bella's gentle nibbling aside, I abhorred biting during sex. My entire body was scarred from vampire bites from my time with Maria. I saw absolutely nothing sexy about it, and Alice knew it. It was an unspoken rule between us. So when Alice started kissing down my chest and paused over my hipbone I thought nothing of it. I had made the mistake of closing my eyes and picturing Bella sucking that exact spot. I was ripped from that daydream by the sharp pain of Alice biting me, her venom burning my flesh. I threw her from me and jumped across the room before I could stop myself. She bounced off the wall, but thankfully landed on her feet unharmed.

"What the hell was that for?!" I roared at Alice. She didn't respond; she didn't need to. Once I took a moment to calm down I realized exactly what she was doing. She was marking her territory in the exact spot that I had marked Bella, the exact spot where Bella had unsuccessfully attempted to mark me. I crumbled to the floor into a fetal position, shaking uncontrollably. Alice had succeeded in a way she had not intended, I am sure. I was no longer thinking about Bella. Instead, I was bombarded with flashbacks of every vampire bite I had ever given or received during the war. I wondered if this was the post traumatic stress syndrome that you hear the news talk about soldiers and holocaust survivors enduring. My body shuddered again involuntarily.

"I, I'm sorry, Jasper, I didn't mean, I just thought…" Alice approached me tentatively. She reached her hand out at arm's length to touch my elbow and I instinctively cowered away from her.

"Don't touch me. Please. Just let me be for a while," I whispered to her, my voice quivering. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her I was alright and that I understood, but at that moment I just couldn't. My mind was in another time and place. Without another word, Alice threw on some clothes and walked out the door. She returned several hours later to find me in the same position. This time when she reached out to me I accepted her embrace, my body wracked with dry sobs as I leaned into her. She was shaking too, the sadness radiating from her matched my own. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight but found little comfort in it. After a time we both stopped shaking, and I kissed her forehead before standing.

"I need to hunt, I'll be back in a few hours." Alice just nodded her head, still sitting on the ground, never making eye contact with me. I ran several miles before I sat down against a tree and watched the sunset, willing myself to calm down. I took my cell phone from my pocket and called Bella.

"Hello?" Her beautiful voice instantly soothed my soul.

"Bella, it's Jasper. Are you alone? Can you talk?" _Please be alone. Please._ "I really need a friend right now."

"Yes, I'm alone. What's wrong?" I found myself telling her stories from my vampire youth that I had told no one before. Horrors I never wanted to share, terrible things I had done that I felt such shame for, torture I had endured and dished out in equal proportion. Somewhere in the back of my mind it occurred to me that I should not tell her these things, especially not in such graphic detail, that at any moment she was going to hang up the phone and run to Edward begging him to keep me away from her forever, but I couldn't stop. I had to let it out, and she listened silently until I finally ran out of words. I realized then that she was softly sobbing, although it sounded like she was trying to hide it.

"Jasper, I am so sorry you had to live through those things. I wish there were something I could do to take that pain away from you. But I believe that everything in life, the good and the bad, happens for a reason. All the things you did, and all the things that others did to you, made you the person that you are today. You have learned from those experiences and allowed them to make you a better man. Most people would not have been strong enough to do that, they would have given in to the evil and let it overtake them, but you didn't. I am very proud of you for that, and you should be too." Somehow Bella knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. She never ceased to amaze me.

"Thank you, Bella. You'll never know how much I needed to hear that. How are you? Is everything okay there?" I honestly wasn't sure what I wanted her to say. Part of me wanted her to say she was happy, that Edward had finally come to his senses. Another part of me wanted her to tell me that she was miserable without me, to beg me to come back to her.

"I'm…fine. Don't worry about me. Go enjoy your vacation with Alice." Bella suddenly sounded detached, depressed and exhausted but I decided not to push it. She would tell me when she was ready. Besides, we had been on the phone for close to two hours and I really did need to hunt.

"Okay, I'll call you again in a couple of days if that's alright."

"Of course it's alright!" She responded as if that were the stupidest thing she had ever heard. It made me smile.

"Okay. I'm glad. Sweet dreams, Bella."

"You, too." _Funny_. "Goodnight, Jasper." Bella hung up the phone and I focused my energy on the hunt, taking down two large moose before returning back to the cabin.

While I was gone Alice had started a fire and was sitting sideways on the sofa under the quilt reading a book. I chose a book from the shelf and sat down on the opposite end, our legs sharing space in the middle under the blanket. We stayed much like that for the following week or so in companionable silence, neither of us knowing what to say, not wanting to disturb the fragile peace. Alice left twice that week to get supplies for the house repairs, and both times I took the opportunity to call Bella. Our conversations were short and full of small talk, neither of us bringing up our significant others or our own confused relationship. It was just comforting to hear her voice, to feel close to her. I didn't know what the future held for us, I just knew I needed her in my life in whatever way possible.

It was towards the end of the second week of our 'vacation' when Alice said she was going to hunt. She tossed her phone into my lap and said "Say hi to Bella for me" with a sad smile as she walked out the door. Thirty seconds later Alice's phone rang.

"Bella?"

**Emmett has had all the chocolate and whipped cream licked off of him and needs to choose a reviewer to help him get cleaned up. Any volunteers? Jasper was feeling neglected from all the Emmett love in the reviews and decided to kick it up a notch. He has taken a reviewer's suggestion and has now added caramel sauce and ice cream to the chocolate sauce, effectively turning himself into a Jasper Turtle Sundae just for your reviewing enjoyment!**


	11. Chapter 11: Batteries Not Included

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

**A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! This chapter was co-written with the wonderful Raychelle Edwards. If it is about Emmett and it is funny -- it came from her. :) Oh, and be forewarned there is a little lemon in this chapter. Enjoy! **

**Bella's POV**

I sat there staring at the foreign object. I jumped up from my bed and grabbed my phone, almost falling face first to the floor in my sudden unexplainable rush. I quickly dialed Alice's cell phone before I chickened out. I needed an advisory session on this thing.

"Bella?"

"Alice, what the heck am I supposed to do with this cotton-pickin' contraption?!" What was I thinking? There was no way I was going to survive this conversation unscathed. I cringed as I waited for Alice to start laughing at me.

"What contraption, sweetheart?" A sexy voice that was definitely NOT Alice asked with a chuckle. Oh My God! Now what do I do? My face, I am certain, turned ten shades of scarlet.

"Jasper?!" _Damnit Damnit Damnit_. "Oh…um…never mind. Is Alice around?"

"No, she left a few minutes ago to hunt. She'll be gone for a while. Are you sure I can't help?" He actually sounded disappointed. _Well, what the heck. I mean, he's already seen me naked._

"Well, see, Alice bought me something before you two left and I wanted to try it out but I have no idea how to use it and the directions don't exactly help because it says that it's one thing, but it's actually something else, or at least I think it is and…jeez this is so embarrassing." I rambled.

"What did Alice buy you, darlin'? I'm sure I can help if you let me." Jasper chuckled. I could tell he was enjoying this.

"Ugh, okay, she bought me a portable back massager." K_ill Me Now._

"But you're not using it for a backache?" Jasper feigned innocence.

"No."

"What do you want to use it for, angel?" _One day, I don't know where or when, but he will pay for this._

"I want to use it for…stress relief." Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it did.

"KNOCK KNOCK." Without waiting for a response the goofball that is Emmett pushed his way through my window into my room. I immediately grabbed a fist full of linen to cover myself and the massager, then shoved my cell phone under my pillow.

"Bella, my favorite little human how are…" Emmett trailed off and an eyebrow shot up. I'm not sure if it was from the lump under the sheets or because he smelled my arousal. Either way I wished the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. "Bella? Whatcha doin'?" Emmett asked in a sing-song voice. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. Emmett flew across the room and ripped the covers out of my grasp.

"Hey!" I yelled. A huge grin plastered across his face. Oh damn. I put my face into my hands and groaned.

"So Bella, I repeat, whatcha doin'?" I heard him snort from laughter and felt a slight shift on the mattress. I looked up and the vibrator was missing. I looked to Emmett and he was twirling it around like a baton in his hand. I blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"Bella?" A muffled sound emitted from my pillow. "Darlin'?" I threw another pillow on top of the phone.

"Emmett, give it back." I practically screeched. Emmett just smiled.

"How were you planning on using your little toy? Shall I get Edward so he can assist you? Nah, I doubt he'd be much help. Would you prefer my masterful skills?"

"Emmett!" I screamed. I thought I faintly heard a growl from the phone.

"Aww come on. I guarantee my toy is better than your toy." The growl on the phone got louder. I put my elbow over the pillows to muffle the sound, but I was certain it was no use. If I could hear it, so could Emmett. He handed me my 'toy' as he called it and started to unbutton his shirt. With his chest exposed he moved his fingers to the hem of his pants, his forefinger and thumb holding the button of his jeans.

"Emmett, you can't be serious!" He smiled a wicked grin and stared at me. My eyes shifted around the room, determined to look anywhere but at him. Emmett burst out laughing and began re-buttoning his shirt.

"Of course not! You're my little sis, how weird would that be? Besides, you know I love Rosie. I was just messing with you. Don't worry, I won't tell Eddie. Oh I'll block my thoughts too. I always forget that." I let out a breath I wasn't aware that I had been holding.

"Thank you. Can you leave now?" I begged. Emmett laughed a deep, hearty laugh.

"Sure thing, Bells. Don't do anything I wouldn't do! Err, or Rosalie would do!" I laughed sarcastically.

"Sure thing." I mimicked him. Once I was certain he was gone, I pulled the phone out from under my pillows.

"Bella, what was that all about?" Jasper sounded concerned and more than a little bit angry. "What on Earth was Emmett doing there?"

"You know, I don't really know what he came for. He just barged in, embarrassed the hell out of me, and left."

"Were you decent at least? I mean, what are you wearing right now?"

"What? Oh, um, just a t-shirt and underwear. I'm pretty sure he didn't see anything, though." _Other than me sitting on my bed with a vibrator!_

"Which t-shirt, darlin'?" There was that sultry voice again, making all thoughts of Emmett a thing of the past.

"Yours." I tried to match the sexy tone of his voice, although I'm sure I failed miserably.

"Are you still in bed?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Lie back and touch yourself for me." I slid under the covers and did as he instructed without hesitation, releasing a soft moan in the process. "Tell me what you're doing right now."

"I'm rubbing myself through my lace panties, wishing it were you." _Did I just say that out loud? _Another soft moan, although this time I wasn't certain if it was him or me.

"Turn the massager on low and put it on your clit over your panties." The sensation was too powerful and instantaneous to the point of almost being painful.

"Oh!" It wasn't a good "Oh." I turned off the stupid contraption and tossed it back in the box. I decided then and there that it was going to find its way into the bottom of the trash at the next earliest convenience.

"Bella, what's wrong, are you okay?" Jasper sounded scared.

"Yeah, uh, I'm okay. I just wasn't expecting it to be that…intense. I don't think I like it."

"What would you like better?" He asked as I laid back down.

The strange confidence I only seemed to have around Jasper resurfaced. "Your tongue, licking my clit." I heard in the background the soft sound of a zipper lowering and a moan that I was certain was his this time. It reminded me of our first evening together and the thoughts created instant moisture between my legs.

"Oh, God, Bella, I'd like that, too. Take your panties off for me, darlin'. Stroke your clit with your fingers, pretend it is me taking your clit into my mouth, stroking it with my tongue."

"Yes, Jasper. I can feel you. I need you so much."

"I need you, too, sweetheart. Put two fingers inside you, feel me fill you up." I did as he asked, and my head flew back from the sensation. I closed my eyes and imagined him pressed against me, kissing my neck softly while we moved as one in a slow harmony.

"Oh, that feels so good. I'm so wet, so tight."

"I bet you are, darlin'. If I was there I would drink every last drop of your delicious nectar before moving up to take your perfect, tiny nipple into my mouth. Then I would enter you slowly and make love to you all night long." I took my fingers into my mouth and sucked loudly, causing Jasper to moan on the other end of the line. That sound alone almost made me explode from pleasure. I took my wet fingers and began playing with one nipple, the other hand thrusting up and down, building up speed as the pressure inside me grew.

"I can feel your lips around my nipple, your tongue flicking it…oh…Jasper…"

"Darlin', I can't take much more. Rub your clit with your thumb. Come with me!" I heard him groan my name as my climax overtook me.

"Yes! Yes! OH YES!"

There were a few moments of silence where I just allowed my breathing to slow back down to normal before I spoke again. "Jasper?" I was certain my voice sounded hesitant and unsure. We shouldn't be having these kinds of conversations, and I shouldn't be asking him what I was about to ask him, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Yes, darlin'?" He sounded so sweet and concerned.

"Is there any way I could get another one of your t-shirts? I'm going to have to wash this one soon and I'm afraid once I do, it won't smell like you anymore and I can't seem to get to sleep without it."

"I'm sure that can be arranged." I could hear the smile in his voice even over the phone.

"Okay. Jasper? How much longer can you stay on the phone?"

"A little while longer, I think. Why?"

"I was wondering if you could sing to me again."

"Of course, sweetheart. Lie down and close your eyes." As soon as I got settled, he started to sing softly:

_When the rain's blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I would offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love  
__Evening shadows in the stars appear, and there is no one to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love  
__I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment that we met, there's no doubt in my mind where you belong  
__I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'd go crawling down the avenue, there ain't nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love  
__Storms are raging on a rolling sea, down the highway of regret, winds of change are blowing wild and free, but you ain't seen nothing like me yet.  
__There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do, go to the ends of the earth for you, make you happy, make your dreams come true, to make you feel my love_

His beautiful singing was lulling me to sleep. My words came out soft and slurred. "That was beautiful, Jasper."

"Just like you, Bella. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, sweetheart." _Sweetheart?_ I had never called him by a pet name before. I would have been more concerned about it, but sleep overtook me then and I drifted into peaceful slumber.

**The song is "To Make You Feel My Love" which was originally written by Bob Dylan, but a million people have covered it, including Garth Brooks, which is where I imagine Jasper heard it...I love the lyrics.**

**Emmett doesn't want to let down any of his reviewing admirers, so he's arranged a rotating schedule to join him in the shower. Jasper had to buy more caramel and chocolate in bulk -- chopped nuts and ice cream optional. Edward, tired of being called a prude and feeling rather competitive, whipped out hot fudge, strawberry, and pineapple sauces along with some strategically placed bananas and whipped cream to make an Edward Banana Split for your reviewing pleasure! So, please show them some love and review! :) I'm going to ask GiveUsAKiss if I can borrow Carlisle for the next chapter...wonder what flavor he would be?**


	12. Chapter 12: The Card Game

**A/N: Okay, first things first, since everyone's asking -- No, Emmett's visit was not just random. I'm not saying any more than that. :) I've added links for all the songs Jasper has sung to Bella on my profile. I have also posted the first three chapters of this story on Twilighted, and the link for that is on my profile as well. If anyone is so inclined, I would love someone to design the artwork for the banner, I'm no good at that kind of thing. Oh, and in case I don't say it enough -- I LOVE YOU GUYS! **

**Bella's POV**

The next two weeks passed slowly. Very Slowly. I still spent every minute of free time I had with Edward, the same as always, but different somehow. We still kissed, but his kisses no longer took my breath away. I was certain that they had not changed on his part, but with no hope that they were leading to something more, they no longer held any passion for me. They reminded me of how I always imagined kissing Jacob would have been – pleasant, enjoyable even, but that was about it. We still held hands, but that was _exactly_ like it had been with Jacob, a friendly, unconscious force of habit, not because I could no longer bear to not have a part of me touching a part of Edward at all times. Edward had become my best friend whom I happened to kiss goodnight. I found myself wishing Alice and Jasper would come back. I was even looking forward to Alice taking me shopping, just to give me an escape for the day.

Alice and Jasper finally returned the day before school started. When Edward came to pick me up and asked if I wanted to go to the house to see them, I practically jumped out of my seat with excitement. I missed them both so much. Apparently, it was a Cullen family tradition to have a party and play cards all night the last night before school started, kind of a last hurrah before they have to begin the boring fascade all over again. Emmett and Rosalie were setting up the card table in the living room when Edward and I walked in. It was the first time I had seen Emmett since he showed up at my house unannounced. I tried to duck my head and be invisible, but it didn't work.

"Hey, Bella! Feeling better?" Emmett laughed, and I blushed furiously from embarrassment. Edward looked at me sideways and raised an eyebrow questioningly. I just shook my head at him. Rosalie scoffed, letting me know she knew, but didn't say a word. Thank goodness for small favors.

Just then, Alice appeared at the top of the stairs. I ran to meet her, but was surprised when I reached the bottom before her. She took a painfully long time to descend, even for a human. I was really getting worried until she finally reached me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Bella!" She buried her head in my shoulder and I was certain I would end up with a bruise, but I didn't care. "I've missed you," she said, not letting go. I squeezed her tighter and kissed her cheek.

"I've missed you, too, Alice."

"If you two are going to keep that up, will you at least let me grab the camcorder first?" SMACK. Rosalie knocked Emmett upside the head. I ignored him as best as possible.

"So when are we going shopping?" I asked her enthusiastically.

"Really?! How about tomorrow after school? We'll go to Port Angeles!" That put a smile on her face, for which I was glad.

"Absolutely! I kept hoping you'd come back sooner so we could have gotten school clothes together."

"Might as well have…" Alice muttered, letting go of my waist but taking my hand and leading me to the card table. I furrowed my brow and looked at her questioningly but she just shook her head at me.

"Where's Jasper?" Emmett boomed as he put his i-Pod in the dock and started the music. "I want to get this party started!"

"Oh, uh, he'll be right down. He's just, uh, doing some redecorating in his study." _Why is Alice stuttering? _I sat down by Edward and Alice sat down on my other side, still holding my hand under the table. Once again I turned to her and tilted my head in a silent question. She squeezed my hand reassuringly in response. "Later," she whispered. Just then Jasper came down the stairs at vampire speed.

"Jeez, Emm, hold your horses, man, I'm here." Jasper gave me a quick but brilliant smile as he walked behind me. He put his hands on Alice's shoulders briefly and kissed the top of her head before sitting down on her other side. The only response from Alice was to squeeze my hand harder. I started rubbing soothing circles on her palm with my thumb. _What the hell is going on?_

Just then my hand was ripped from Alice's as Edward pulled my chair flush against his. "Jasper, I don't think it's a good idea for you to play tonight. Your eyes are pitch black. Didn't you hunt on your way home?!" Edward was practically yelling, and put a protective arm around my shoulders in an iron grip. I struggled not to roll my eyes at him.

Jasper did not, however. He looked thoroughly irritated when he replied. "I'm fine, Edward. I've been looking forward to this all week. I am not going to hurt Bella."

"How can you be so sure? It wouldn't be the first time," Edward growled, his voice dripping with venom.

Jasper looked as though he'd been slapped. I attempted unsuccessfully to shake Edward's arm off of me. He didn't budge, didn't even look my way. I chose my words carefully. "Edward, if Jasper says he is in control, then I trust him. There is no reason to be paranoid." Not carefully enough. Edward's head shot at me in a glare at the last word before grabbing my arm and shoving it towards my line of sight – forcing me to look at the scar I'd received in this very room on my 18th birthday.

"No reason to be paranoid, huh? Do you really forget so easily, Bella?" Edward spat at me.

"No, Edward, I don't forget easily. I do, however, forgive easily. Or have _you_ forgotten _that_?" I spat back at him.

"I. WILL. NOT. HURT. BELLA." Jasper was visibly shaking now. "Alice, please? Tell Edward it's okay."

Alice just looked down at her hands before she whispered "Edward's right, Jazz. You should have hunted today. It's not worth the risk." Jasper looked as shocked as I felt, staring at her for a moment before turning to Emmett and Rosalie, who were clearly stunned speechless at the scene in front of them and therefore were unable to offer any support. Without another word, Jasper disappeared out the front door.

I shoved Edward's arm again, and this time he released me. I got up and took the seat Jasper had occupied a moment earlier on the opposite side of Alice. "You are ridiculous," I told him as I sat down. Alice took my hand again and looked at me apologetically.

"Emmett, just deal," Edward said quietly. We played cards for a couple of hours in relative silence before giving in to the awkwardness and calling it a night.

Alice hugged me tight as I left. "I'll see you in the morning." I made a mental note to ask her what was going on tomorrow when we were alone.

Neither Edward nor I spoke on the drive back to Charlie's. I was still fuming at Edward and worried to death about both Alice and Jasper. Why didn't Alice defend him? Why did she seem so depressed? Where did Jasper go? I had so many questions on my mind I barely registered the fact that we were approaching the house when Edward slammed on the brakes in my driveway.

"Why is Jasper in your house?" Edward growled at me as he shut off the engine.

"Jasper's here?!" I was as shocked as he was. Edward started to get out of the car but stopped when I grabbed a fistful of his jacket. "Oh, no, you don't! If Jasper is here, it is because he wants to talk to _me_. You have talked to him quite enough for one night." Edward's jaw dropped in shock as he closed his door.

"Bella, what if he is thirsty? He doesn't have the same control as the rest of us. I cannot allow you to put yourself in harm's way like that."

"Edward, if you are under the impression that you have the right to tell me what I can or cannot do, let me inform you that you are sorely mistaken. I am quite capable of making my own decisions, Edward, and right now I am going to go in the house to find out why Jasper is here. Now, are you picking me up for school tomorrow or am I driving myself?" My hand was already on the handle, prepared to jump for it in case Edward decided to take off with me still in the car.

"Yes, I will pick you up if you wish," Edward looked and sounded absolutely void of emotion. I hated when he did that. As far as I was concerned, it was just another form of lying.

"Fine. I'll see you in the morning. I love you. Goodnight, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella. Be safe." I watched the car pull away before I went inside, but was not naïve enough to think he was gone for good. Charlie was asleep in front of the TV. I kissed him on the forehead to wake him up and sent him to bed before heading to my room. Jasper was in a corner of my room, sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up, his arms wrapped around them. His head was resting in his arms, blocking his face from view. Even to the human eye he was shuddering as if crying.

He looked at me wide-eyed as I closed my door. I quickly put my finger to my mouth to shush him. "Edward," I mouthed silently, pointing outside.

"I know," he mouthed back before speaking. "I am so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have come here. I just didn't know where else to go."

I sat down on the floor beside him and struck a similar pose to his, my shoulder touching his. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry everyone acted like that towards you tonight on my account."

"It's ironic, the one person I've actually tried to attack is the only one that trusts me. None of them do, not even Alice. They all think I'm like some blood-crazed newborn. I'm not."

"I know," I said softly as I took his hand in mine and squeezed gently. I hadn't noticed the sleeve of my blouse was still pushed up to my elbow. Jasper took my arm and started tracing the scar with his finger.

"I am so sorry about that night, Bella, you'll never know how much. To see how I hurt you…to think that I…to think that we could have lost you in a moment's weakness," his voice was pained.

"Jasper, I forgave you for what happened before I even left the house that night. You know that. And technically, you didn't give me this scar. Edward did when he shoved me backwards into the table. You know what I never understood? Why were all those glass plates out, anyway? Was Alice actually going to make you all eat that birthday cake?"

Jasper laughed in spite of himself, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yes, I think that was the plan." I rolled my eyes and he chuckled again.

"Trust me. Everyone leaving three days later hurt me far worse than a few lousy stitches. That, too, was a scar Edward inflicted, not you." I wondered if Edward was still listening outside. I didn't want to hurt him but I needed to relieve Jasper's guilt, and every word I said was the truth, painful or not. Jasper let go of my arm and turned to me, taking my face between his hands, staring in my eyes intensely.

"I see what you are saying, Bella, but still, it all started because of me. I just need you to know that I would never do anything to cause you harm. I couldn't, I…" he paused for a second as if searching for the right words. "I would _never_ hurt you, in _any way_." What did he mean by that? That he wouldn't hurt me physically? Or did he mean that he wouldn't hurt me the way Edward did when he left me? Maybe I was reading too much between the lines, I wasn't sure. Either way, now was not the time to ask that sort of question.

I put my hand on Jasper's cheek and smiled when he leaned into my touch. "I know, Jasper. I trust you." He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment. A wave of happiness and affection ran over me from him like a caress, warming my heart.

When Jasper finally looked at me, he pulled me into his lap in a hug and whispered in my ear. "He's still here." I figured as much. I leaned my head against his, cheek to cheek, relishing the sensation. Then a question popped into my head.

"What was wrong with Alice tonight? She seemed really upset." At least it was an Edward-safe conversation.

"Oh, that." The happy feelings from a moment before were instantly replaced with guilt and sadness. "Alice asked me to move into my study. We've decided to separate."

"Oh No! Why?!" I jumped up from his lap and grabbed a piece of paper from my desk and scribbled "Is it because of me???"

Jasper shook his head vehemently as he sent a wave of calm my way. "We've been growing apart for a while. Since your last birthday, I think, looking back on it now. You forgave me quickly, but my mistake shattered what little trust she had in me. And I am to the point where I am tired of being treated like a child."

"I can see that. I get that a lot and it gets old fast." I thought of my argument with Edward in the car earlier. Just thinking about it made me angry all over again.

"Well, then, you can see where it would rub me the wrong way after a while. Especially coming from people half my age." I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I've spent most of my life taking care of my parents, not the other way around. To suddenly be told what I can and can't do, to have decisions made for me behind my back, to be babysat and talked to like an infant, it is beyond frustrating," I huffed.

"Well, that did it," Jasper laughed, suddenly much more light-hearted than a moment ago.

"Did what?" I asked, confused.

"Ran Edward off. He's quite irritated, I must say, but at least the suspicion and jealousy were gone before he took off."

"Irritated?" What could he possibly have to be irritated about from that conversation?

"Yes, I suppose he thinks you should be grateful that he… protects… you so ardently." I just growled in response. "I love it when you get mad like that. It's really cute." Jasper tweaked my nose between his knuckles.

"Cute, huh? Hmmph. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight, Jasper." That'll show him. I got up and brushed off my pants. He jumped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as I started to walk away.

"Not so fast, darlin'. Didn't you say you needed a new shirt to sleep in?" He whispered seductively in my ear before spinning me around to face him so I could see as he took off his t-shirt. He held it out for me but jerked it back when I reached for it, trying hard to ignore his perfect chest and the stirrings he was creating.

"Ah, Ah, Ah. Not so fast. Where's my other one? I want it back."

"I have to wash it first. It's getting kinda gross," I crinkled my nose in disgust.

"No way! Get it." He was smirking at me now. I had to admit, it was damn sexy. I sighed and took the box out of the closet, lifted the gold chain with the key over my head to unlock it, and handed him the Ziploc bag with his t-shirt in it. All joking gone, his eyes were locked on the box as he absentmindedly handed me the new shirt and took the bag before sitting down to inspect the chest. He looked up at me questioningly.

"Alice," I stated simply.

"Oh," he nodded knowingly before taking out the silver picture frame. He was staring at the sketch of us so intently I was afraid to move, to even breathe. He ran his fingers over it lovingly and I could feel the longing oozing from him. I sat down next to him on the bed, letting my emotions speak for me. He did the same. He turned to me and our foreheads touched as he put aside the frame and took my hands into his own. We stayed that way for what seemed like eternity before he spoke.

"I had better leave, Bella. If I don't go now, I may never have the strength to." He pulled away slowly and put on the t-shirt I gave him. "Now I have a shirt that smells like you, too." He smiled at me sadly, running his finger along my cheekbone before resting his hand around the back of my neck. "Don't worry, I won't let Edward smell it on me." He sighed and was out my window before I could even protest. I hugged his shirt tightly like a blanket, inhaling it deeply before drifting off to sleep, once again dreaming things I knew I shouldn't be dreaming.

**A/N: I haven't seen Emmett for a while, I'm assuming he's the cleanest Cullen in history by this point. Jasper is still around with all his caramel goodness, although I heard someone gave him a bottle of butterscotch magic shell for our dipping pleasure. Edward's banana split is now strangely devoid of bananas...hmmm... Oh, and Carlisle announced that his favorite ice cream topping is walnuts in maple syrup sauce...YUM! He also thought he'd kick it up a notch and brought over some Bailey's and Amaretto to do belly shots off the Cullen of your choosing with every review! Thank You for lending him to me GiveUsAKiss! Have you all read Past and Present yet? If not, run, don't walk to her story...right after you review this chapter :) **


	13. Chapter 13: Alice's Singer

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. Adrian is mine, though, as is this storyline, so at least that's something! **

**A/N: Please don't get used to these rapid-succession updates, 'cause I'll feel guilty when I slow down. :) It's just that you guys have been awesome about reviewing, and I really wanted to get this chapter out to you. To be honest with you, I'm _really_ nervous about this chapter, so I'm hoping you like it! It's the longest chapter I've done so far (just for you Lea!).**

**Jasper's POV**

I waited until I was sure Edward and Alice had left for school before returning to the house. For one thing, I had Bella's shirt on. That and I needed some time to be alone to think. That, however, was not in the cards. Emmett was sitting in the living room, arms crossed over his chest forebodingly. 'We need to talk, bro." I sighed and threw myself into the chair across from him.

"What can I do for you, Emm?"

"Where do you want to start? Why did you move into your study? What's going on with you and Alice? Or maybe the real question is what's going on with you and Bella? I know I smelled you on her clothes when I was at her house, and I could have sworn I heard you on her phone that night, too." I growled at the memory of Emmett in Bella's bedroom, offering to show her his 'toy'.

"Yup, that's the growl I heard alright. Now here you are, and I smell HER all over YOUR clothes. The way I see it, you've got some explaining to do."

"You first. What were you doing at Bella's house, anyway? You embarrassed the hell out of her, not to mention scared her silly."

"Ever since Bella stopped letting him spend the night, Edward's been watching the house from a distance. I don't know who he expects to show up. Victoria, Jacob, Newton? Who knows? He said you and Alice are always blocking your thoughts anymore and I guess it's freaking him out. Anyway, Edward had to go hunt, so he asked me to Bella-sit. But I felt like a stalker sitting there in the woods, you know, not to mention it was really damn boring. So I decided to go pay her a visit instead. Needless to say I was more than a little surprised at what I found when I got there. Now it's your turn. Spill."

_Okay, how do I approach this?_ I decided to answer the easiest question first and hope that he'd forget about the others. "Bella had called Alice, but Alice had gone hunting and I answered the phone. Alice bought her the massager to try and help her relax since Edward refuses to."

"Okay, that makes sense, but why was your scent in her room?" So much for forgetting about the other questions.

"Bella had one of my t-shirts on. The one I'm wearing now, actually." I hung my head, not exactly in shame, but I wasn't ready to look Emmett in the eye.

"WHAT?! Why?" Emmett growled at me. _Okay, big brother Emm has come out to play. Shit._

"Okay, I'll tell you everything but first you have to promise to calm down and stay calm until I'm done. I can feel your protective instinct going into overdrive and it's making me dizzy."

"Fine. Start talking." _He really can look go from teddy bear to deadly bear in 2.3 seconds._

"A couple months back, Alice and Edward went hunting. You, Rose, and I stayed behind with Bella, remember? This was right before she quit staying here." Emmett nodded. "Well, before they left, Edward got Bella all worked up and then pulled away from her like he always does, and left her alone in his room feeling incredibly...aroused and frustrated, not to mention rejected. Between that and you and Rosalie going at it in your room, all the lust was just too much to handle."

"What did you do? Did you hurt Bella?" A bubble of anger was building up in Emmett. I moved to sit next to him and put my hand on his shoulder to directly send a calming influence his way.

"No, of course not. I would never do anything to hurt Bella." I apparently did not do a very good job keeping my emotions out of my voice because the anger was replaced with suspicion and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Just let me finish, okay? I went to Bella and offered to talk her through how to pleasure herself. I thought that it would help her with what she was going through, and provide me some relief from all the overpowering emotions coming off of her." A wave of lust followed immediately by a wave of guilt from Emmett stunned me for a moment.

"Damn, if it weren't for the fact that this is my little sis we're talking about, that would seriously be HOT! I wonder if Rosie would let me do that to her?"

"Emmett!"

"Sorry." Emmett squirmed a little in his seat.

"Besides, it wasn't like that. Well, at least it didn't start out like that. She was under the covers the entire time, and I didn't touch her, I swear. But afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about her, and I guess she couldn't stop thinking about me, either. So after Edward did another one of his tease-and-runs, Alice told me she had a vision of Bella and I being intimate, and after laying down some guidelines, she sent me to Charlie's to calm down a very hysterical Bella. I think Alice thought it was just built up arousal from the lesson, and that if we had one night together, we could get it out of our system and everything would go back to normal. But it didn't work. Bella and I didn't make love that night, but we did create a powerful bond, one that goes far beyond the physical attraction we feel for each other."

"Do you love her?" Emmett asked, the protective instinct back, but this time without the anger.

"Yes, Emmett, I do. I haven't admitted that to anyone, not Bella or Alice, maybe not even to myself. But I do. I love her with all my heart and it's a disaster and I have no idea how to fix it."

"Is that why you and Alice split?"

"Not exactly. Alice knows everything, and it hurts her a lot even though she tries to pretend that it doesn't. But she and I have been growing apart ever since the accident at Bella's birthday party, maybe even before that. Alice and I went on vacation to try and reconnect after my night with Bella, but it turned into a farewell trip instead. She and I will be okay, really. I love Alice, I always will. You know, Alice told me when we first met that her vision showed us together for a certain period of time, but not forever. We loved each other so much we never wanted to believe that, and we never talked about that vision after that. I always thought that it must have changed, but I guess not."

"Does Bella love you, too?"

"Yes. She hasn't said so, but I can feel it whenever we're together. But she loves Edward, too, and she feels very guilty about the whole situation. Bella's conflicted, and she doesn't want to see anyone get hurt. So, now you know. Are you still going to tear me apart?"

"Not at the moment. But you know how I feel about Bella. Edward's already done enough damage and I promised Bella when we came back that I would never let her get hurt or be abandoned again. So if this is the real deal, you'd better be in this all the way, bro, or not at all, because I will tear you apart and burn the pieces if you decide this was just a fling."

"Fair enough." To be honest, this had gone much better than I thought it would. It felt good to confide in someone and have them understand.

"I can't speak for Rose, though. I'm sure she will blame this all on Bella, she always does. I'll do what I can, though. What are you going to do about Edward? You can't keep this from him forever, you know? It's not fair to him, and it's no good for anyone else, either."

"You're right. But I think that's Bella's decision to make, not mine. I'm not going to do or say anything to force her into a decision. She has enough people making decisions for her, I'm not going to do that to her. Can you keep Edward out of your head until the time is right?"

"I'll do my best. I understand not wanting to pressure her; just don't take too long, okay?"

"I'll do my best." I repeated his sentiment. I didn't want to make a promise I couldn't keep. The truth is, Bella and I haven't discussed any of this. I am going to have to tell her how I feel, though. I can't keep that from her anymore. Then we'll see where she wants to go from there. I'll tell her tonight. I got up and went upstairs to shower and change. No sooner had I put Bella's t-shirt in the plastic bag and tossed it in the back of my closet when I heard Edward's Volvo charge up the driveway and screech to a halt.

"Jasper! I need your help!" Edward yelled as the car approached.

**Bella's POV**

Alice woke me up a full hour before the alarm was set to go off. "Good Morning, Sunshine! Wakey, Wakey!" I saw up slowly and yawned, stretching my arms over my head before laying back down. "Oh no, you don't," she sang before tugging the blankets off of me, sending goosebumps up my legs. Stupid cheerful vampire. "We don't have time for false starts this morning. I brought you something to wear." I sat up again, more awake this time. Truthfully, I didn't mind her waking me up. I hadn't had to use an alarm clock in so long since Edward stayed with me every night. I was not looking forward to hearing that sound again. It was just a shrill reminder of how much things had changed between us.

Alice reached under my pillow and pulled out Jasper's t-shirt, putting it in the bag and then in the chest before putting the chest back in the closet. "I suppose he told you," she said, only slightly less cheerful than a moment before.

"Yes. I am so sorry, Alice. I feel like this is all my fault." I know Jasper said it wasn't, but I didn't believe him. How could it not be?

"Nonsense. What happened between you two may have been the last nail in the coffin, so to speak, but it was by no means the first. We both made a lot of mistakes along the way. To be honest, I have always known that we weren't meant to be together forever, I just didn't want to believe it. But it's time. We needed to separate so that we could both begin the next phase of our lives guilt-free. I will always love Jazz, that bond will never break. I'll just love him in a different way; the way I love you. I just wish I could make sense of my visions about what will happen next. They're all so confusing," Alice shook her head to clear it. "All I can tell you is that I have a feeling that forever begins today. And you need to look good for it – so get moving!" Alice flashed me a brilliant smile before tossing a shopping bag at me. Inside was a beautiful mint green sundress, white cashmere cardigan sweater with mint green embroidery, and a pair of white strappy sandals with a thankfully low heel. In twenty minutes flat she had my hair quaffed and make-up done to perfection, just in time for Edward to pull up to pick us up. "By the way, I'm sorry I didn't defend Jasper last night. I know better than anybody that he would never hurt you. I just couldn't deal with everything right then. Besides, it would have made Edward suspicious. I'll apologize to him the next time I see him. You understand, don't you?"

"Of course I do." I was so glad, certain it would make Jasper feel a whole lot better when she told him that.

I was nervous about how this morning would go. Would we fight again? Would he admit he was eavesdropping on my conversation with Jasper? And if he did admit it, what was he thinking? So I was a little surprised when Edward got out of the car to open the passenger door for us without a word, giving me a quick kiss before closing the door behind us. He didn't mention last night at all during the drive, just commented on how beautiful he thought I looked. When we arrived at school, Edward gave me his hand to help me out of the car and continued to hold it as we started across the parking lot.

Just then I heard a wolf whistle and a voice I would know anywhere holler "Bells and Whistles, Baby! Bells. And. Whistles!" My head shot in the direction of the voice and there he was, standing on the opposite end of the parking lot next to a brand new black Mustang GT, looking as tan and gorgeous as ever. It should be illegal to look that good – 6'3", lush short blond wavy hair, blue eyes like the sea after a storm, cleft chin, six pack abs, and as always, dressed to kill. Just how I remembered him. "Adrian!"

I released Edward's hand and ran full speed to Adrian, miraculously making it all the way across the parking lot without tripping once. Adrian scooped me up and flung me around in a circle over his head before bringing my face to his to lay a big, chaste kiss on me with an exaggerated "Mmmwah!" sound before setting me back down and enveloping me in a big hug. "Oh, Bells, I've missed you so much! Phoenix just wasn't the same without you."

"What are you doing here?!" I couldn't believe my eyes, he was actually here. In Forks.

"My dad got transferred to Port Angeles with some big promotion. At first I refused to leave, I was going to move in with Kevin's folks, afraid he was messing with my shot at a football scholarship, but then Dad agreed to commute from Forks so at least I got to go to school with you. My coach put in a good word with your coach, I'm meeting him after school today to try out. Oh, and Dad bought me some new wheels," Adrian pumped his thumb behind him at the shiny black sports car. "So here I am, at your service!"

"This is incredible! I can't believe it! Come on, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend and my best friend."

"Boyfriend, huh? Does this mean my Bells is finally coming out of her shell?" I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed his hand to lead him in the direction of two very confused looking vampires across the lot. Adrian responded by throwing his arm lazily around my shoulders as we walked. "Well, alright then. Let's go see if this boyfriend can earn my seal of approval." I just laughed. Ever since I met him, Adrian has always been my great defender. I guess some things never change. "So does this boyfriend have a name?"

"Edward," I said as we approached him and Alice. This was not going to be fun. Edward was glaring at Adrian with a look that could kill and Alice seemed to be holding his forearm with both hands in a death grip. I shrugged out from under Adrian's arm.

"And who's the dark haired beauty standing next to him?" I glanced up at Adrian to see him staring at Alice.

"My best friend, Alice. She's Edward's sister." By this time we were across the parking lot. Adrian extended his arm to shake Edward's hand as we walked up to them. That's when all hell broke loose. Everything happened at once. Alice let go of Edward and lunged at Adrian's wrist. Edward jumped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms and body to his chest as she growled and gnashed her teeth. Adrian took a step back and I instinctively stepped in front of him to face Alice, who didn't seem to notice me, she was so focused on Adrian.

"Edward, what is wrong with her?!" I yelled.

"It would appear that your friend here," Edward said, jerking his head in Adrian's direction. "is Alice's singer. Get him inside, I'm taking Alice home. I'll be back to pick you up after school." Edward dragged Alice kicking and screaming back to the Volvo. I took a stunned Adrian by the hand and tugged him in the direction of the administrative offices, all the while he was looking back at Edward and Alice in confusion.

"What the hell was that all about?" Adrian finally asked when the car pulled out of sight.

"I'll explain later. She isn't usually like that, trust me. Just keep it to yourself for now, okay?"

"Okay, Bells, whatever you say." Adrian got his schedule from Mrs. Cope and we were pleased to find that we had several of the same classes together, as well as homeroom.

"So how's Megan?" I asked as we headed off to class.

"She's fine, I guess. She and I broke up when I told her I was moving. We weren't right for each other, anyway. She's already going out with Kevin from what I hear." Adrian was the star quarterback and football captain back in Phoenix. Kevin was his co-captain, wide receiver, and best friend. Megan was, of course, captain of the cheerleading squad. I always felt like she was only dating him because it was expected, although I never told Adrian that. I guess I was right.

"I'm sorry," I said, although we both knew I only half meant it. Megan was selfish, self-centered and vain. Adrian deserved better. The rest of the day passed relatively quickly. Adrian made fast friends with the gang at lunch and politely ignored Lauren's not-so-subtle attempts to throw herself at him. In the end, I had to tell her in no uncertain terms to back off. She just muttered something about 'can't have them all' before skulking off.

At the end of the day, Adrian and I exchanged addresses and phone numbers before he headed off to the field to meet with Coach for his football tryout and I headed to the parking lot to meet up with Edward. Before I left, Adrian pulled me into another big hug. "Thanks for protecting me, Bells. Today would have been unbearable without you." He kissed my forehead and smacked my butt, pushing me in the direction of the parking lot. "Now go on before your boyfriend tries to kill me."

"Okay. Call me and let me know when you're done with tryouts. You'll be the big star on campus again by sunset, I'm sure!"

"Hope so! See ya later!" He waved and jogged off towards the football field.

I ran to the parking lot to find Edward leaning against the hood of his car, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, threatening to break free. He surprised me by pulling me in for an extended kiss before releasing me to open my door.

"Edward, you don't need to worry about Adrian, he's just…" Edward cut me off with a kiss before pulling out of the parking lot.

"I know I don't. His thoughts towards you were for the most part very brotherly. He reminded me of Emmett in that way, he's very protective of you. He's already got an action strategy worked out for how he is going to break my nose if I hurt you." We both chuckled at that. "Actually, most of his more inappropriate thoughts seemed to be geared towards Alice. At least, until she tried to drain him dry."

"About that, nobody else seemed to have seen anything, which is good, but Adrian definitely did. I put him off for now, but he's going to want answers sooner or later."

"I know," Edward said as we got out of the car.

Emmett met us on the porch, with Rosalie a step behind. "Hey, Bella! What the heck do they put in the water in Phoenix, anyway? Maybe I should take a trip down there and see if I can find myself a singer!" SMACK! Rosalie and I may not get along, but you had to hand it to her, she kept Emmett in line. Emmett ruffled my hair playfully before going inside to resume his video game. "Jeez, Rose, I was just kidding!"

"Where's Alice?" I asked to no one in particular as I looked around for her. Rosalie answered.

"She's upstairs in her room with Jasper. I told her I'd send you up when you got here." I squeezed Edward's hand reassuringly before letting him go and heading up the stairs.

When I opened the door, the sight of Alice curled in a ball on her bed broke my heart. She looked up at me with a sad smile. "I don't feel up to shopping, today, Bella, I'm sorry. Can we just hang out here?" Alice patted the space next to her on the bed hopefully.

I sat down and put the back of my hand to my forehead a-la-Scarlett O'Hara before throwing my head back dramatically. "A whole day without shopping? Whatever will I do?" I said in the worst ever fake Southern accent. Alice burst out laughing, as did Jasper, who had just stepped out of the bathroom with a vase full of wildflowers, which he set on the nightstand next to Alice. He headed for the door, but not before kissing both Alice and I on the top of the head, earning grateful smiles from both of us.

"Gotta work on that accent, darlin'," Jasper chuckled sweetly. "I'm going to leave you ladies alone for a while. I'll be in my room if you need anything." Jasper flashed one more gorgeous smile our way before closing the door behind him.

"You okay, Alice?"

"I am now." Alice gave me a big hug and then we both settled back against the headboard. "Oh, and I talked to Jasper today about last night, about a lot of things, really. Everything's okay now. We're friends again."

"I'm glad. Is Adrian really your singer?" I'd been thinking about this all day and I just couldn't wrap my brain around it.

"It would seem so. I've never felt anything like that before! He's a friend of yours from Phoenix?" I nodded my head. "I'm glad I didn't hurt him. Can you tell me about him? It might make it easier if I know who he is."

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Everything. He's really cute, don't you think? Did you two ever date?"

I laughed. "Everyone always thinks so, the way we are around one another, but no, we never dated. He is beyond cute, though, isn't he? His name is Adrian Peters. His dad is a big-time research chemist for a major pharmaceutical company that I can never pronounce. He owns the patents on over a dozen different drugs. His dad is nice enough, he just isn't around all that much – his work comes first. Adrian had always been my best friend, before you. My mom would call him my great defender. I was really shy and introverted back then, so I would get picked on a lot. Adrian would protect me – he'd beat up any bully who messed with me without blinking an eye. In high school, he was the most popular guy at school. He's an amazing quarterback, everybody thinks he'll get recruited to Alabama or USC or some other big football university. He's really smart, funny too. Anyway, even though we hung out with totally different crowds, he never abandoned me. Nobody even questioned it after a while."

"He sounds sweet. What does he do when he's not playing football?"

"In case you didn't notice, he looks like he just stepped off the pages of GQ magazine. There's a reason for that. He's the only person I know who likes to shop almost as much as you." I shivered thinking back at all the days he would drag me to the mall with him so that if he ran into anyone we knew he could use the lame excuse that he was just there to keep me company.

"Really?" Alice's face brightened like a mega-watt light bulb.

"Yes, really," I groaned, realizing that my prison time at the mall had probably just gotten doubled.

"What's with the 'Bells and Whistles' thing?" Alice asked curiously.

"Oh, that. Adrian always got a kick out of my parent's nickname for me, and ran with it. He's got a million of 'em. Bells and Whistles for when he thinks I look nice, Hells Bells for when I'm in a rotten mood, Jingle Bells for around the holidays. The list goes on and on."

"That's funny! Tell me something, Bella, how do you think he'd react if we told him our secret? My visions are not clear when it comes to him at all. Would he take it well? Would he expose us?"

"I think he'd be okay after he got over the shock of it. He didn't mention you snapping at him the rest of the day after I told him I'd explain later. How are you going to handle the whole 'la tua cantante' thing, though? Because I'd really prefer you not eat my friend," I said teasingly.

"Well, I'm hoping it'll be easier now that I know. Plus, Edward suggested that I spend as much time as possible around him, to desensitize myself to the scent, like he did with you. Edward even offered to go with me if I wanted to sit with him while he slept. But I wouldn't want to do that without his knowledge, the way Edward did," Alice's voice lowered to a whisper. "Between me and you, I always thought that was a little creepy. Do you think Adrian would understand?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out! He's supposed to be calling me in a little while to let me know how tryouts went. I could invite him over?" Alice closed her eyes for a moment then broke out in a huge grin.

"Yes, I think that's a great idea. The visions are getting clearer. Everything is going to work out just fine, Bella, you'll see!" Alice beamed. "Your phone is going to ring in 93 seconds. When you're done on the phone, Jasper is in his room. I think he's hoping you go talk to him." Right on time my phone rang.

"Bells, baby, do you know who you're talking to?"

"Um, Adrian?" _That's a dumb question. Let's see, I could recognize your voice in my sleep, plus it's on my Caller ID._

"Not just Adrian, Bells. You're talking to the new starting quarterback for the Forks Spartans!"

"Congratulations! I knew you'd get it hands down!"

"Thanks! What are you doing right now? Wanna grab a bite to celebrate?" I chuckled at the word 'bite' but I don't think he heard me.

"Actually, I had another idea. Remember Alice from this morning?"

"The gorgeous pixie with the growling problem? What about her?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Well, I'm at her place right now and she'd REALLY like to apologize for earlier and explain to you what happened. Do you want to come over?" When there was no immediate response I upped the stakes. "I'll order us a pizza with sausage and green peppers."

"Bells, baby, you remembered! Sounds Awesome! What's the address? I'll just plug it into my built-in GPS," he bragged. I gave Adrian the address and warned him not to miss the hidden driveway before hanging up.

"Alice, he's on his way. I'm going to check on Jasper for a minute. I'll be right back." I saw a tiny hand wave at me from the bowels of her closet in response.

No sooner had I opened the door then Edward appeared and grabbed both my arms, hard. "You're not going anywhere. You and I need to talk," he growled.

**A/N: I have to give credit where credit is due. The 'Jingle Bells' idea is not mine. I read it in "Written in the Stars" by EclipseOfTheTwilightMoon. It's a really cute AH story. Her Edward always calls Bella Jingle Bells and I thought it was great. **

**Emmett has returned wearing nothing but a towel, with a bottle of Frangelico in one hand and a bottle of Stoli Vanilla in the other. He's REALLY excited about the belly shots idea! Jasper is picking up the shower rotation and said not to worry -- everyone will get a turn! Edward got some fresh bananas, sliced them up, and drew a big heart over the sauce on his chest with the slices. Carlisle stole Jasper's Butterscotch Magic Shell, which he has poured very strategically over himself, along with the very sticky maple syrup and walnuts. It should go well with the Bailey's! And Adrian (who looks an awful lot like Justin Hartley) just peaked around the corner asking if he could join in the fun. So please review!**


	14. Chapter 14: Poor Alice No More

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just Adrian, and this storyline.**

**A/N: Y****ou guys are the best! I'm so glad you liked the singer idea, and Adrian as an OC. It's kind of hard to throw a new character in the middle of a story, so I'm so glad you thought it worked. Oh, and I had a lot of questions about what Edward needed help with. I'm sorry, the overlapping time frames between point of views was a little confusing. Edward was returning from school and needed Jasper's help getting Alice into the house and calmed down.**

**Bella's POV**

No sooner had I opened the door then Edward appeared and grabbed both my arms, hard. "You're not going anywhere. You and I need to talk," he growled.

Immediately, three other vampires appeared in the hallway. Emmett was at the top of the stairs, mouthing "Sorry, Bella" to me before returning his attention back to Edward, taking a classic bouncer stance with his chest out and his arms crossed. Alice appeared at the door beside me on one side, hand on my shoulder. Jasper was next to me on the other side looking very protective.

Edward tried to pull me towards his room, but Emmett blocked his path. "I don't think that's a good idea right now, bro."

"Fine, we'll do this right here," Edward turned back to me, his eyes a fierce black. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of Edward. "Would you care to explain to me why my entire family has been blocking their thoughts from me for weeks and then suddenly I see you in Emmett's thoughts, on your bed no less, wearing nothing but a t-shirt, with that _thing_," he said the word 'thing' as if it were a disease. Then he snapped his head towards Jasper. "And perhaps you would care to explain your _interesting_ conversation with Emmett today, _Brother_." I glanced at Jasper wondering what he had said to Emmett, but he was completely focused on Edward and looked as if he were concentrating very hard. I could feel Jasper attempting to send calming waves to everyone, but it wasn't working. Edward was way past anger, he was in a rage.

Emmett put his hands on Edward's shoulders. "Edward, I know you're upset right now, but you need to calm down before we continue this conversation. You're hurting Bella, man. You don't wanna do that."

Edward released his hands from my forearms and I instinctually rubbed them to speed the return of blood flow to the region. I was certain that I was going to have bruises. Edward looked in horror at the angry flesh that was quickly turning red, then down at his hands which were clenching and unclenching. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Rosalie's voice floated from downstairs. "I hate to break up Edward's long overdue epiphany, but Bella's friend is pulling up." The sing-song tone of her voice did nothing to veil the malicious intent.

Edward looked at Emmett. "Can you guys help Alice without me?" Emmett nodded. He turned to me. The panic was evident on my face. _He's going to leave. He's going to run away._ "I'm just going to hunt. I'll be back tomorrow, and then we will finish this conversation. Alone." With that, he was gone.

Alice hugged me. "I'm sorry, Bella, Emmett slipped and then it was a split second decision on Edward's part."

Emmett came up and inspected my arms. "I'm sorry, too, Bella. I heard you tell Alice that you were going to talk to Jasper and I just slipped. It's hard to remember to block your thoughts constantly, you know?"

"It's okay." The doorbell rang. "We'll have to deal with this later. I have a pizza to order. Come on, Alice, ready to meet your singer? It's time to go scare the crap out of Adrian," I said teasingly. It was false bravado, to be sure, but I couldn't just give in and curl up into a ball. Alice needed me.

Emmett descended the stairs first, followed by Alice and then myself. Just before I started down the stairs, Jasper wrapped his arms around me tight from behind and squeezed me to him just long enough to whisper in my ear. "It'll be alright, Bella. Don't worry. By the way, that dress looks lovely on you." He kissed me on the cheek and then he released me.

Alice sat on the couch flanked by Emmett and Jasper, with Rosalie sitting on the arm of the couch nearest Emmett. I watched as Alice took a deep breath and held it before I opened the door. Adrian looked better than ever. His hair was damp from a recent locker room shower. He had a white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone, a pair of tight fitting black jeans, and a brand new Spartans football jacket. As soon as I opened the door, Adrian picked me up and gave me a big hug. "Good Luck Bells! You really are my good luck charm!"

"I hope you still think that at the end of the night," I murmured as I stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him, effectively locking him in a room with four vampires, one of whom craved his blood like none other. "Adrian, I would like to introduce you to Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper."

"Pleased to meet you," Adrian said politely.

"Dude. Seriously. No need to be so formal. You play Halo?" Emmett asked him. Adrian's face brightened.

"Absolutely!"

"Okay, he's cool in my book." Emmett brushed his hands together as if to signal that settled everything.

"Yeah, because you've got such high standards, Emmett." Rosalie sneered at him.

"I've got you, Rosie babe, so my standards can't be all that bad." Emmett looked like the cat that ate the canary. SMACK!

Adrian looked to me and raised his eyebrows as if to say "What the heck?" I just laughed.

"They're always like that."

He looked to Alice. "Well, beautiful, at least you're not growling at me like a rabid dog this time. Perhaps you'd like to tell me what that was all about this morning?"

"Adrian, you'd better sit down first." I told him, pointing to the opposite couch. He sat first, and I sat down next to him.

Finally, Alice spoke. "Adrian, I am so sorry about this morning. I couldn't help it. You just…smelled so good…like apple pie and cinnamon…and I couldn't help myself." She'd used the last of her air supply and was forced to take a deep breath if she wanted to speak further. Jasper took her by the hand and spread a wave of calm throughout the room.

"So you're saying you were trying to attack me because I smelled good enough to eat?" Adrian asked jokingly.

"Exactly!" Alice was so excited; she thought he understood. She figured out a moment later that he was being sarcastic. "What I mean to say is, your blood smells delicious to me." Alice looked down in shame.

Adrian laughed. "My blood, huh? What are you, a vampire?" Alice looked at him sheepishly. "What?! I was joking! Bells, are these people for real?" He looked at me incredulously.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's not as bad as it sounds. They don't drink human blood, only animal blood. They're vegetarians of sorts."

"Vegetarians? Huh. So why did you try and eat me this morning, then? That is what happened, right?" Alice looked like she was in pain, whether from the guilt or the burn in her throat, I wasn't sure.

Jasper answered for Alice. "Human blood is our natural food source, so it is always a temptation for us. But very rarely, someone comes along whose blood smells so delicious that it is almost too good to resist. It's so rare, in fact, that this is only the third time anyone in our family has experienced it. They call such humans 'singers' because your blood sings to one of our kind."

Adrian seemed to ponder this for a moment. I was amazed at how calm he was about this. "And I'm _your_ singer?"

"Yes." Alice whispered.

He looked back at Jasper. "You said this was the third time this has happened? What happened to the other two?"

"Well, Bella is Edward's singer, although honestly her blood sings to all of us to some degree," Jasper looked at me and smiled a sad smile. I smiled back. Adrian looked at Jasper, then me, then Jasper again, but didn't say anything. "The other was a long time ago. She…didn't make it." Jasper was kind enough to not mention Emmett's name.

"Oh. Oh! You mean, they failed to resist the scent?" Jasper nodded. "But Bells is a singer, right, and Edward hasn't turned her into a midnight snack yet. How's that happen?"

This time Alice answered. "Well, Edward spent a lot of time around Bella until he became somewhat desensitized to her scent."

Adrian thought about this for a moment, got up and sat down on the coffee table directly across from Alice, his legs on the outsides of hers as he leaned in and put his elbows on his knees to look Alice in the eye. We all stiffened and looked at Alice, but she seemed to be in control. Adrian had an adorable smirk on his face and his voice came out husky. "Ally-Angel, are you asking me out on a date?" His eyes were twinkling.

Alice looked shocked for a moment, I guess she didn't see it coming. She had said that her visions weren't clear when it came to Adrian. Maybe that's a singer thing, to be immune to the powers of the one your blood sings to. Regardless, Alice was rendered speechless for probably the first time in her very long life. She looked at Jasper and then me questioningly, as if asking permission. When she found nothing but nods and smiles, she turned back to Adrian. "Um, yes? I guess? I mean, yes. Yes. I mean, if you want…"

Adrian cut her off and looked at me. "Bells, baby, did you order the pizza yet?"

"Shoot, no, I forgot."

Adrian stood up and held his hand out to Alice. "Shall we, then?"

Alice looked scared for just a moment and then she smiled, a real smile, the one that used to be a permanent fixture on her pixie face before everything had gotten so messed up. When she took his hand, he didn't even flinch from the cold. His smile only got brighter.

"You sure you'll be alright, Alice?" Emmett asked, concerned.

"Yes, I think I can handle it now. Thanks Emm." She turned and gave me a hug. "Thanks, Bella. I won't hurt him, I promise." She whispered in my ear.

"I trust you. Have fun." I whispered back. Alice let me go and gave Jasper a warm hug as well.

Adrian leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "See ya in the morning, Bells." He placed his hand on the small of Alice's back and they were out the door.

After they left, I turned to Jasper. "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Really. I love Alice and I want her to be happy," he smiled brightly, "Now how about you? You still want pizza?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. But just pepperoni, I was only getting sausage and peppers because that's Adrian's favorite. Oh, and extra cheese."

Jasper called and ordered the pizza for me and then the four of us sat back down to discuss the next item on the agenda – Edward.

Jasper started the conversation, "Okay, Emm. How much did he see?"

"I'm not sure. Dude, I am SO sorry. When Bella said she was going to talk to you, it made me think about what we talked about earlier and I wondered… well, I wondered if you were going to say anything to Bella about it, and then my mind went over the whole conversation and my visit to her house, too. I'm not sure if he saw all of it, but if he did, then he pretty much knows everything."

"What do you mean, everything, Emmett? Jasper, what all did you say to him?" I was confused, but it was apparent that Emmett knew a lot more than I thought.

Jasper moved to sit next to me and took my hand. Rosalie scoffed, irritated. "Not now, Rosalie," he growled. "Bella, I'm sorry. When Emmett came to your house that night you called Alice's phone, he heard my voice on the other end of the line and he smelled me on your shirt. Then when I came home this morning and he smelled you on my shirt, he asked me what was going on. I told him the truth."

Embarrassment, shame, fear; I didn't know which emotion was the strongest at the moment. Embarrassment, I guessed, judging by the hot, burning blush scorching my face and ears.

"So when he said Edward knew everything, he meant _Everything," _I whispered. I suddenly started shaking uncontrollably and Jasper let go of my hand to put his arm around my shoulder.

"Shhh, sweetheart. It'll be okay. Try and calm down, it's all going to be okay." Jasper sent such an intense wave of calm through my body I almost fell asleep from the strength of it.

"Okay, let's look at this objectively. At least he saw it through Emmett's thoughts instead of mine or Alice's. This way he doesn't have the visual, just the basics. Do you guys think he'll hurt Bella? Should we run, hide her?" It was easy to see why Jasper was such a good leader in the military, planning strategies was as natural as breathing to him in moments like this.

"It wouldn't be like she didn't deserve it," Rosalie sneered.

"Rose," Emmett's voice warned. "We talked about this." Rosalie got up with a grunt, went upstairs and slammed her door.

Emmett watched her leave, shook his head, and turned back to us. "If you want my opinion, you guys need to stay and work this all out. I don't think Edward would hurt her. In fact, if you remember, this whole mess started because of how determined he is _not_ to hurt her. But it's up to you. I'm going to go talk to Rose. Lemme know what you guys decide to do." Emmett stood and said something else so low I couldn't understand before he went upstairs. I could hear angry voices from their bedroom, but couldn't make out what they were saying.

"What did Emmett just say to you?" I waited for the 'nothing to be concerned about, love' blow-off that I usually got from Edward when he had a silent conversation with someone in his family. I was pleasantly surprised when I didn't get it.

"He reminded me of part of our conversation from this morning, something I want to talk to you about." The doorbell rang and Jasper went to the door to pay for the pizza. He walked back, set it down on the coffee table, flipped the lid, then disappeared for a split second into the kitchen, returning with a handful of napkins, a plate, and a glass of soda.

I took it gratefully and dug into the pizza with fervor. Mmmm…comfort food. Now all I needed was a quart of Chunky Monkey and a spoon. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Jasper took a deep breath and sighed. "Bella, when I was talking to Emmett this morning, which I really am sorry to have divulged your secrets like that, by the way, I realized something. And now that I know it to be true, I feel that I must tell you. But I want you to know that I have no expectations of any sort of response, okay? It's just something I need you to know. Promise me."

"I promise," although I was very hesitant to do so. I had the feeling you get when you're being set up.

"I told Emmett today that, well, I told him that I love you." Jasper's head was down, but he was looking at me through his eyelashes. I could see the fear of my reaction in his face.

"You love me? As in…"

"Yes, I love you, as in 100%, head over heels in love with you."

I didn't know what to do, or say, or think. I loved Edward. I have since the moment I met him, and I would love him forever. But I couldn't deny that I loved Jasper, too. I had grown so close to him these past few months that I couldn't bear the thought of a life without him in it.

"Jasper, I …wait a minute, you said you told Emmett that this morning?" I screamed, causing Jasper to flinch.

"Yes, he asked me if I loved you and I said…shit!" He finally realized why I was screaming. "Edward knows that, too. Bella, I have to tell you that Emmett also asked me if you loved me too and I told him that although you never said so, I thought you did based on the emotions I felt when we were together. Was I wrong?"

"No, you weren't wrong. I do love you, more than I ever thought possible. But I haven't stopped loving Edward, despite everything. I really don't know what to do."

"Bella, darlin', I'm not asking you to choose right now. I will be in your life in whatever capacity you will allow me to be. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I don't hope you say you want to spend eternity with me, because I do. But if you decide to stay with Edward than I will have to be content to be your friend."

"Spend eternity with you? As in, Eternity?"

"If that is your wish, then yes, that's what I mean. But I don't want you to choose me over Edward simply because I'm more willing to make you a vampire than he is. For that matter, and I don't know how to say this the right way, so please don't take offense, but I don't want you to choose me over Edward because I'm more willing to be intimate with you than he is, either. If you choose me, I want it to be because you love me as I love you. Agreed?"

I nodded my head, which was swimming from information overload.

"Bella, are you ready to talk to Edward about all this? Because we can still leave if you want." Jasper sounded almost as if he hoped I wanted to just run away with him and never look back.

"No, I need to talk to him. I have no idea what I'm going to say, but he deserves to know the truth. Then we'll figure things out from there. I really don't want to think about this anymore tonight, though."

"Okay. Me either. How about I get you some ice cream and we can chill out and watch a movie? Sound good?"

"Got any Chunky Monkey?" I asked him hopefully.

Jasper chuckled, "I have no idea. You're the only one who eats food in this house, remember? But if you told Esme you liked Chunky Monkey, I'm sure it's in there. If not, I can run to the store and get you some if you like." Jasper disappeared into the kitchen and returned a moment later triumphant, with the container of ice cream heaven and a spoon.

"My hero." I curled up in a blanket and dove into the ice cream like there was no tomorrow. Jasper put on "The Princess Bride" and settled in next to me, his arm over my shoulder comfortingly. Eventually the tub of ice cream was a thing of the past, and I fell asleep with my head on Jasper's shoulder long before Iningo Montoya found the six fingered man. I woke up just enough to feel him scooting away from me when the credits started rolling. "Stay," I pleaded.

"As you wish." The last thing I remember was Jasper singing "Storybook Love" along with the movie.

_Come my love, I'll tell you a tale, of a boy and girl, and their love story  
And how he loved her oh so much and all the charms she did possess  
Now this did happen once upon a time when things were not so complex  
But how he worshipped the ground she walked, and when he looked in her eyes he become obsessed_

_My love is like a storybook story, but it's as real as the feelings I feel…_

**A/N: Adrian has happily joined the Cullen Dessert Buffet, but since he's actually warm, he's staying away from the ice cream. He suggested doing champagne belly shots off his six pack abs and then letting him feed you strawberries. What do you think? **


	15. Chapter 15: Plans and Picnics

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. Adrian is, though -- lucky me!**

**A/N: Okay, this may be attack of the author's notes, so forgive me! First I wanted to tell you that GiveUsAKiss opened a forum for this story on Twilighted under AU Fanfiction, 'cause she rocks! Come chat! I need to thank FeelBetterBoy'sGF-JasperLuv, aka Alice Freaking Cullen, for the amazing banner. I haven't gotten it up on Twilighted yet, but it's on my profile and it's AWESOME! If you have me on story alert and not author alert, you may not have noticed that I published a new story called "Edward's Release." It's Chapter One of Lesson rewritten for all you wonderful people who were dying for a threesome, 'cause I'll be honest with you, it's not happening in this story. It's a one-shot right now, but if I get enough feedback on that story, I'll do another chapter where Jasper's one night with Bella turns into a threesome, too -- with no rules. Okay, that's enough ranting for one day -- enjoy!**

**Edward's POV**

Bella broke my heart. So I ran.

Jasper betrayed me. So I ran.

Alice, Emmett and Rosalie all hid it from me. So I ran.

I hurt my Bella. So I ran.

I ran and ran for hours. I needed to hunt, but a deer wouldn't satisfy me. I wanted a predator. Eventually I found a grizzly bear, and took him down quickly. I don't really care for bear, it's grittier, more bitter than mountain lion. I would imagine it would be like comparing beer to wine. No matter, it served its purpose. It made me stop running. I slumped against a tree and tossed my head back, leaving a dent in the massive tree trunk.

I should have realized something was wrong when Alice and Jasper both started blocking their thoughts. I assumed it was just because they were having problems in their own relationship and didn't want me to be privy to all the details. I never imagined it would have something to do with Bella, unless it was something about Victoria. Deep down I knew that couldn't be it, that they would have told me if Bella was in danger, but I thought it best to be cautious. Although I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have been watching her house anyway.

It shattered my stone heart into a million pieces when Bella told me she didn't want me to hold her at night anymore. I knew what I was doing when I told her I would no longer keep attempting to be intimate in a way that was impossible for us. I was pushing her away from me, towards the happy, human life that I know she deserves. Not in the more direct way I had when I left, but I was pushing her away nonetheless. I was pushing her towards some unknown man who could make her truly happy, satisfy her needs in a way I could only dream of.

Did she realize that I did, in fact wish to be able to touch her in the way that she wanted? Every time we kissed I would see images in my mind of all the things I wanted to do with her, _to_ her, many of them not very gentlemanly at all. Some of the images that my mind created made me feel like I was no more a man than those hormone crazed teenagers at school. I was a monster who wanted to ravage her in every way possible to satisfy my carnal desires. Other images were more acceptable. I wanted to make love to her, to be joined with her as one in the most literal way, to truly show her the depth of my love.

It was even worse when she slept. I longed to feel her breasts in my hand, play with the peaks that pressed against me in her sleep each night in the most delicious torture. I would force myself to close my eyes so not to stare at her curves which became a little bit more defined with each passing day. I would feel the tantalizing heat from between her legs burning my thigh, calling me like a beacon. Sometimes Bella would have illicit dreams, and she would throw one leg over me, pressing her knee up tight between my legs, grinding her pelvis into my hipbone in a circular motion. She would moan 'Edward, please,' in the sexiest voice known to man, and it would take every ounce of strength I had not to grab her by her hips and shift her the few scant inches on top of me so she could grind against something much more satisfying than my hip. But I never did.

Bella deserved better than that. She deserved to be courted properly like a princess, not defiled like a concubine. But Bella didn't want to be properly courted. She had no interest in being showered with tokens of my affection. She only wanted me, in every way. Deep down I knew that times were different, that in this day and age a lady was not labeled a harlot for being intimate with the man they loved before marriage. But I couldn't help feeling shameful about the idea of stealing her virtue; it was how I was raised. It was who I am.

But I am more than that. I am a vampire, a predator with supernatural strength and lethal venom. It was a fact I was never more aware of than when Bella was in my arms. When I would feel the lust build up in me, I would start to forget how careful I needed to be with her, how I needed to be conscientious to not break a bone or rupture her delicate skin without thinking. When I remembered, the images in my mind of Bella mangled and bleeding at my hand terrified me, and I would have to stop and break away from her. I came to the conclusion that it was simply not possible for a male vampire to be with a human woman in that way. Or so I had thought until Emmett's thoughts proved me wrong and destroyed my world.

Emmett had started blocking his thoughts two weeks ago, right after the night I had him watch Bella's house. He told me it was nothing to worry about, so I let it drop. I knew it would come out eventually. Emmett has always had the hardest time of any of them blocking his thoughts from me. Alice, Jasper and Carlisle had it worked out to an art form.

The thought had occurred to me that maybe he had overheard Bella pleasuring herself, as I had suspected her of doing the past several months. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. On one hand, I understood her feeling the need to satisfy her urges, and thinking about Bella touching herself awakened the teenage boy in me all over again. On the other hand I couldn't help but think that it was improper. But nothing prepared me for what I saw in Emmett's mind today.

"_I hope he talks to her about telling Edward,"_ Emmett thought when Bella told Alice she was going to talk to Jasper. Then the wall came down. I was flooded with images of Bella on her bed wearing nothing but a men's t-shirt with a vibrator in front of her. Emmett unbuttoning his shirt provocatively in front of her saying his toy was better than her toy. The muffled voice that sounded distinctly like Jasper saying _"Bella, darlin'?"_ and then growling when Emmett propositioned her. Emmett thinking that he smelled Jasper in her room. _No wonder he's been blocking me!_ _Apparently I can't trust either of my brothers. I wonder if Carlisle has made a move on Bella, too?_

But just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Emmett started thinking about a conversation he had with Jasper, apparently earlier today. Jasper's revelation that he had 'taught' Bella how to touch herself while Alice and I had been hunting a couple of months back stunned me. I knew exactly which night he was talking about. When I came home that night Bella's undergarments and pajama bottoms were on the floor and she was asleep wearing nothing but a t-shirt. The scent of her arousal was so thick in the air that I almost couldn't bear to be in the room. I carefully tucked the sheets in around her like a mummy so as to not accidentally come in contact with her more intimate areas while she slept, and laid next to her the rest of the night, holding my breath and doing complex algorithms in my head. It was right after that Bella decided to stay at Charlie's when I went to hunt. _Was that so she could avoid Jasper, or was it so they could be alone together?_ The second half of the one-two punch was the eye-opener that Alice had given Jasper and Bella permission for one night together, although he claimed they hadn't made love. Apparently, no one thought to ask me for my permission. I can't be positive what exactly had happened, but something certainly had, though, since Emmett found her wearing Jasper's shirt. But the knockout blow was definitely the moment where Jasper revealed that he was in love with Bella, and that he thought Bella loved him too.

So I'd been played for the fool, and I was the last to know. Instead of pushing her into the arms of a human boy, I had apparently pushed her directly into the arms of the only Cullen who could possibly be more dangerous to her well-being than me. The _question is, what do I do now?_ My first instinct was to tear them both apart. Thank God that Emmett stopped me, I would have been unable to control my rage at that moment. As it is, I'll never forgive myself for squeezing Bella's arms so tightly. I still wanted to shred Jasper and burn the pieces, one by one, or better yet, not burn them, but strategically spread the pieces of his body over the four corners of the world so that he suffered for a thousand years while his body tried to reattach itself. But I was certain I would lose Bella forever if I were to do that, if I haven't lost her already. _Should I let Bella go, put her happiness before my own, apologize for my flaws and wish them well? No, I don't think I'm capable of that. Bella is Mine._ I was left with only one option, to fight fire with fire, to enter into a different type of battle with Jasper, with the prize being the one we love. Let the games begin. May the best man win.

**Bella's POV**

"Wakey, Wakey, I wanna talk about my date-y," the evil pixie sang, ripping me from my dreams. Or maybe she hadn't because I felt two strong, cold arms wrap themselves tighter around me as I tried to get up, saving me from falling off the couch.

"Whoa, darlin', be careful," Jasper said with chuckle, pulling me back flush against him. I became instantly aware of every point where our bodies met under the blanket.

I jumped up. "Is Edward back?" I asked in a panic. The last thing I needed was for Edward to see Jasper and I spooning on the couch. _When did that happen?_

"Bella, do you really think I would have let Jasper lay there if Edward was anywhere in the state?" Alice asked me incredulously. "He won't be back until a little after four this afternoon. What is it with men liking to watch you sleep, anyway?"

"She talks in her sleep," Jasper stated simply as he sat up next to me.

"Oh no, what did I say?" The blush was burning on my cheeks.

"First you asked me to stay, so I did. You said 'I love you' a lot," he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I can only hope it was directed at me." Then he sat back up. "And you said 'No, Alice, don't eat him!' once or twice or two dozen times." Alice started laughing.

"So I gather from your good mood my best friend is still alive and well?" I sighed a breath of relief when she nodded enthusiastically.

Jasper laughed and got up. "I hope you took it easy on him, Alice. Behind the Cary Grant façade that boy was scared senseless." He disappeared into the kitchen.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the Cary Grant remark. "That's just part of who he is. That's what makes him such a great football player. He's had it pounded into his head since he was in little league. 'Show no pain. Show no fear.' The suave and debonair part is all him, though."

A loud crash echoed from the kitchen. Jasper came back into the living room muttering "Be back in a minute," and disappeared out the front door. I looked at Alice but she just shrugged.

"So, 'fess up, I want all the details!" I curled my legs up Indian style on the couch and put the pillow on my lap. "I've always wondered something about Adrian. Is he a good kisser?"

"Bella!" Alice shrieked, obviously embarrassed. She struck a similar pose next to mine on the couch. "I don't know! I don't kiss on the first date. Besides, it's not like that, at least not yet. But I think it could be, someday. 'I think!' It's so frustrating how fuzzy my visions are where he is concerned, but kind of exciting at the same time. For the first time in my life, I have someone around who has the ability to surprise me."

"That's great, Alice. So how did it go?"

"Well, it was really hard at first. I had to make him roll down all the windows because it was way too hard being in a confined space with all that recycled air just intensifying his scent. I broke the door handle on his new car; he wasn't too happy about that. He finally admitted that he was more than a little freaked out, but he said that he trusts you; so if you trust me, than he will too." I smiled at that. "But then we started talking and we just get along so well. I mean, the boy actually speaks Versace, Bella!" We both broke into hysterical laughter.

Just then Jasper came back with a bag and a beverage container with four steaming cups. "I had a little trouble with the coffee pot," Jasper said with a sheepish shrug. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I got you a cappuccino, a hot tea, a chai latte, and a hot chocolate," pointing to each one in turn, "and a peach muffin," he said handing me the bag with the still warm-from-the-oven muffin inside. I grabbed the tea and the muffin. Without even thinking, I jumped up on my tippy toes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Thank you!" I said, then I saw the shocked look on his face and I realized what I had done. I tried to backpedal. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I…"

Jasper put the drinks down and pulled me into a hug. "Don't EVER apologize for that, Isabella. You just made my day." He gave me a feather light kiss on the cheek and sat back down on the couch next to me.

"Bella, it's supposed to be sunny later, so I won't be going to school today," Alice said, thankfully interrupting the awkward conversation.

"Oh, so I guess it's just me and Adrian today, then."

"Well, no, actually. I didn't want to spend a full 24 hours away from him and then have to start from scratch again. Besides, Adrian wanted to see what I looked like in the daylight, so he's skipping today and we're going on a picnic out in the field where the family plays baseball. Hey, do you and Jasper want to come?" The thought was appealing. I had never seen any of the Cullens sparkle besides Edward, and with Alice, Adrian, and Edward all gone for the day, the last thing I wanted to was to go to school and think about what was in store for me this afternoon. I looked at Jasper hopefully.

"Anything you want, darlin'," Jasper said with a smile.

"Yay!" Alice squealed, then jumped up, grabbing me by the arms to pick me up. She dropped me on the couch again when I winced in pain from the pressure she had placed on the Edward handprints. "Sorry," she said but I just shook it off. Jasper scowled. "Well, anyway, let's go get ready. Adrian should be here anytime now." Alice dressed me in a pale pink v-neck sweater and a pair of white pants. She chose a pair of dark blue jeans and a gold blouse that brought out her butterscotch eyes.

I opened the door when the bell rang. "Bells and whistles, you look fabulous! Your fashion skills have definitely taken a step up since you left Phoenix. Where's Ally-Angel?"

"Here I am!" She floated cheerily into the room.

Adrian approached her slowly, as if judging if it was okay, and then gave her the same friendly hug he had just given me. "You look beautiful," he said to her before turning back to me. "You guys ready? I've got the car packed and ready to go."

"Actually, Adrian, we aren't driving there. We're running." I groaned, knowing exactly what that meant. Poor Adrian, though, he didn't have a clue.

"I didn't bring my running shoes, Ally."

"You won't need them. Jasper and I are running. You and Bella are just going along for the ride." The lightbulb went off in his head and he blushed. He actually blushed.

"So who's carrying who?" He asked, fear in his voice.

"It's completely up to you. You won't feel much heavier than Bella to either of us, which is to say you won't feel heavy at all. So whoever you're more comfortable piggy-backing with is fine with us."

"Well, if that's the case, I'd rather go with Ally, I think. If you can handle me being so close to you, that is."

"I think I'll be okay. I hunted last night after you dropped me off. If it gets too difficult, we'll trade."

Jasper put most of the supplies in a backpack and carried me bridal style up the hill. Adrian held the grocery bags while Alice carried him piggy-back. When we got to the clearing, Adrian looked a little dizzy. I remembered the first time Edward had carried me at vampire speed through the woods, so I could understand, especially since we all forgot to tell him to close his eyes.

"That was…interesting," he said, his voice shaky. "I think that was a serious blow to my masculinity."

I started laughing, "This from the man wearing $500 Italian leather loafers!"

"Hey, these are Prada, and they cost $695 if you really must know!"

"Really not helping your cause there, man," Jasper chuckled.

Alice skipped from the treeline into the sunshine. Adrian drew in a loud breath through his teeth. "Ally, you really are an angel!" She did look even more beautiful in the sunlight. Adrian approached her slowly, took her hand and bent it back and forth, inspecting the way the sparkles changed as she moved. I started behind them but realized that Jasper wasn't moving. I turned around and tilted my head at him in a silent question.

"I look…different in the sunlight, Bella," Jasper held his head down in shame. "Every battle scar, every bite mark I have become accentuated, visible even to the human eye. They're…ugly. It's hard for me to…" I cut him off by taking his hands into my own and walking backwards as I pulled him into the light. He was right, to a point, you could see crescent shaped scars drawing random designs on his arms, his neck, even his face. They caught the light at a different angle than the rest of his skin. It made me sad to think of all the pain he had endured with each one. But he was way off base when he said he looked ugly.

"You look magnificent." He smiled a half-smile because he didn't believe me, but didn't want to argue about it, either. He shrugged off the backpack and took out the blankets to lay them out. Adrian had brought grapes, strawberries, and granny smith apples of course, just to be a wise guy. He'd also brought a few different cheeses and a loaf of crusty bread, with a bottle of grape juice. I was very impressed.

Adrian tossed one of the apples to Alice. "In case you need to chomp down on something that smells delicious." Alice tried to look angry and hurt, but couldn't help laughing. The four of us spread out on the blankets and talked about everything and nothing for hours while Adrian and I noshed on our feast, just four friends enjoying a lovely afternoon. It was perfect.

I cringed when Alice looked at her watch. "Three-thirty, Bella, we need to go back. It's time to face the music."

Jasper started to get up but I gave him a stern look. "No, I need to do this alone. It'll be okay. You stay here with Adrian. I'll have Alice take me back."

"I don't think it's a good idea to face him alone." Jasper's tone was adamant.

"Face who?" Adrian asked, worried, looking from Jasper to me. "What don't I know, Bells? What's going on?"

"It's Edward," I said, my head down. "We had a fight and when he left yesterday he was really angry. He's coming back today and he wants to talk to me alone."

"I don't think I like this Bells. To tell you the truth, I got a bad vibe from that guy. He seems to have a major stick up his ass. If he's still pissed off, I don't want you alone with him." Adrian was on his feet and gathering up the remnants of our food. Obviously in his mind, this wasn't up for discussion.

"I agree," said Jasper. "Besides, this is just as much my fault as it is yours. This is my fight, too." Jasper followed suit, folding up the blankets and stuffing them in the backpack.

"Jasper, remember the conversation we had where I told you I hated it when other people made decisions for me, treated me like a child? You're not going to start doing that, too, are you?" Jasper's jaw dropped open.

Adrian rushed to his defense. "Hey Hells Bells, calm down. This is not treating you like a child. This is protecting someone we care about from a potential threat. You would do the same for us, wouldn't you?"

"I am doing the same thing. I don't want either of you anywhere near Edward right now!" I looked to Alice, silently begging for some support.

"It's alright, guys. Edward's not going to hurt her. She needs to do this alone." Without waiting for a reply, Alice slung me on her back and took off through the forest. She set me down on the front porch. "Edward is inside waiting for you. You are going to have a choice to make, Bella. I can't see which way it's going to go until you decide. Just follow your heart and don't feel guilty about it." Alice gave me a hug and was gone.

**A/N: The guys have decided we've ingested enough calories, so they each have their own solution to the dilemna. Edward took over the shower rotation. Emmett has started a Naked Pilates class, with him as personal trainer, of course. Carlisle prefers Naked Yoga! Jasper and Adrian have decided turn about is fair play, so if anyone wants to get naked and covered in chocolate, they will be glad to partake in the "Wonderful Reviewer Sundae Buffet!" Let the licking begin! :)**


	16. Chapter 16: Repossession

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight, although I asked Santa for it for Christmas.**

**A/N: I am really behind on review replies, I think I just finished the ones for Chapter 14, but don't slow down! If my e-mail is not completely bogged down with reviews and PMs I get very depressed. :) I read every one with a smile on my face and I will reply eventually, I promise. But you wanted Edward's lemon before my review reply, right? I have to thank The Illustrious GiveUsAKiss for beta'ing this chapter for me. I had all the pieces, knew where I wanted to go, but couldn't make it work. All it took was one sentence from her to make it all cli****ck.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella walked into the house and I was sitting at the piano, waiting for her. I looked up at her and patted the bench next to me. She walked silently to me and sat down. I played a few bars of the new song I was writing for her. It wasn't much, really, but it was a start. Bella always loved when I played for her. It was something just between us. Before the last note even had time to disappear, I took her face into my hands and pulled her into a kiss. She hesitated for a moment, but then she responded. Fear crept into me again as the kiss gained intensity, but I forced it back down. _If Jasper can kiss her like this, then so can I._ I ran my tongue tentatively against Bella's lip and when she gasped in surprise, I took the opportunity to enter her with my tongue. She tasted delicious; it reminded me a little of how her blood had tasted, and I fought the monster back in my mind. When she needed to breathe, I pulled back from her and stared into her eyes.

"Bella, do you love me?"

Bella looked confused, stunned by my question. "Edward, of course I do, but yesterday, you…"

I interrupted her with another quick but passionate kiss. "Forget yesterday, forget our fight and all the problems we've had," _Forget Jasper, _"forget everything but you and me and right now. Answer me, Bella. Do. You. Love. Me?"

Bella nodded her head, tears in her eyes. I wished I could read her mind. Then again, maybe not. I'm not sure I needed to have the play by play of her internal struggles at this moment. I just needed to stay focused on the fact that I was going to win. "Yes, Edward, I love you. I always have."

"Then come away with me. Right now. Just for a few days. Alice will take care of everything, don't worry. I've already made all the arrangements. Please, Bella? Please say yes."

Bella nodded her head again. _Close enough._

"Good, let's go. I've already got our bags packed and in the car." I picked her up off the bench and flew to the car. I was not going to give Jasper the chance to intercept us. Not knowing exactly where Alice's allegiances fell, I booked three different flights, all leaving tonight. I wasn't going to decide which one we were taking until the moment the flight was boarding.

**Alice's POV**

I was halfway back to the clearing when I ran into Jasper, with Adrian on his back, running full speed ahead back to the house.

"Where exactly do you two white knights think you're going?" I asked them.

"Um, to save Bella?" Adrian answered, suddenly unsure of himself.

"She and Edward are already gone, or will be by the time we get back."

Jasper set Adrian down. "For how long?"

"Two days, maybe three." We started walking back towards the house at a human pace.

"Where?" Jasper asked, trying to fight back the panic in his voice.

"I'm not sure, and even if I was sure, I don't think I should tell you," I said. Jasper misunderstood my reasoning and growled at me. Adrian bravely put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why not?" Jasper asked through gritted teeth.

"Because if you follow her and go barging in on them, virtually kidnapping her the way you are currently contemplating, Bella will inevitably come to the conclusion that you are no less a caveman than Edward is." Jasper calmed down considerably. _Did he really think I wouldn't be on his side? I love Edward, he's my brother. My stupid brother. But I love Jasper, I always will, and I want him to be happy._

Jasper pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, Alice. I shouldn't have doubted you."

"What about school?" Adrian asked.

"Our school has a very liberal attendance policy. I'll have Carlisle write her a note saying she's got the flu, and call Charlie to tell him she's running a fever and is staying at our place so I can nurse her back to health. Then I'll fake her chicken scratch handwriting and turn in her assignments for her while she's gone. Easy." I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly.

"Alice, what did you see? Will she be okay? What's going to happen? Who will she choose?" Jasper's voice dropped down a notch with the last question.

"I don't know who she's going to choose, Jazz, Bella hasn't decided yet. But I will tell you this. Edward is not going to hurt her, he feels awful about what he did yesterday. He is, however, about to level the playing field, and if you want Bella to choose you, you need to put those superior strategical skills of yours to good use. The only advice I can give you is to trust Bella, because Edward doesn't; play fair, because Edward won't; and swallow your jealousy. Right now, before she comes back. Because as much as you love her; at this moment, Bella is not yours. Bella is still Edward's. And this is something she needs to do."

By this time we had reached the house, and Edward and Bella were long gone. Jasper flopped down on the couch, looking like someone had stolen his puppy. "Fine. But I don't have to like it."

Adrian flopped down next to him, with a similar look on his face. "Me, neither."

**Edward's POV**

I chose Buffalo, New York. It has almost as many cloudy days as Forks does, and has a wide variety of entertainment options should Bella and I decide to go sightseeing. Not that I intended to leave the hotel. I booked us a suite at the Mansion on Delaware Avenue, the finest room in the finest hotel in Buffalo. Bella, of course, scowled when we got there.

"How much did this cost?" Bella asked me crossly. When would she ever learn?

"Not that much, love. It's their off-season," I replied lightly and kissed her on her nose as the bellman took our bags from the car. It was a little white lie. I handed the keys off to the valet and led Bella inside. The bellman insisted on showing us throughout the suite, pointing out all the features. The suite itself was lovely, everything was first class, eloquent without being over the top. The parlor had a working fireplace, a flat screen TV with DVD player and a larger balcony. The bedroom had a beautiful four poster bed with Italian linens and duvet, another entertainment system and a larger balcony. The bathroom boasted limestone countertops and separate vanity with lighted makeup mirror, a 6' whirlpool Jacuzzi, a separate three head shower with glass doors, built in warming lamps and towel heaters. But the only thing I could focus on was Bella. She was looking around in awe, wanting to be angry but not quite being able to pull it off. My lips turned up in a pleased smirk at that. I tipped the bellman and put the do-not-disturb sign on the door before shutting and locking it behind him.

I grabbed Bella by the waist and pulled her to me, kissing her with all the passion I could muster. I felt her tongue graze across my lips, asking for entrance. Out of instinct, or force of habit, I'm not sure which, I pulled back, afraid of her being so close to my teeth. So many expressions flashed across Bella's face -- shock, pain, resignation. Then it changed to something else, the far away look her face takes on when she's thinking about something, like a dream or a memory. _A memory! She's thinking about Him!_ With newfound resolution I kissed her again, harder. I thrust my tongue into her mouth and we fought for dominance for a moment before she conceded, allowing me to explore her mouth fully. I grabbed her arms to pull her tighter to me but she jerked her head away and moaned in pain. _Oh God, I hurt her!_

I pulled away from her and put my finger to her chin to turn her head towards me. I tugged on the sleeve of her shirt lightly, "May I?" She nodded her head but turned her gaze away from me once again. I pushed her sleeve up and saw a wretched bruise the very distinct shape of my hand. Her other arm revealed the same. _What have I done?_ I collapsed on my knees in front of her and wrapped my arms around her legs. "I am so sorry, Bella. Can you ever forgive me? I didn't mean to. I was just so angry, but I never should have laid a finger on you, I would never intentionally hurt you." _Didn't she see this is the exact reason I didn't want to be intimate with her? The minute I let my emotions control my actions, bad things happen._

Bella dropped onto her knees beside me and pushed me back so she could sit on my lap. "I forgive you. It was an accident. Besides, you know me, I bruise easily. Half the time I don't even know where the bruises come from. But I do think we should talk about yesterday." I shook my head vehemently. That was the last thing I wanted to do. "I think it's important. What you saw about me with that massager Alice gave me…"

I placed two fingers on her mouth to interrupt her. "Was simply your way of coping with a situation that I created. Nothing more. I shouldn't have overreacted the way I did. I just didn't like that you felt you had to resort to that, or the fact that Emmett saw it." That, too, was a lie. I was furious for many reasons, Emmett's display was only one of them, and he was actually pretty low on the list. I smiled her favorite smile. "Forgive me?"

"Of course. So you know, I threw that stupid thing away. It was evil," I chuckled at that in satisfaction. _I don't want her having any reminders of Him, especially not that vile piece of machinery._ _Besides, if she was going to be getting that kind of pleasure from here on out, it was going to be because __**I**__ gave it to her._ I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, pulling back the covers before setting her down gently. I leaned over and kissed her again, softer this time. Without releasing her lips, I took her hands and raised them up over her head, only then ending the kiss long enough to pull her sweater over her head to reveal Bella wearing a modest but flattering white lace bra.

"Beautiful," I muttered as I laid her down in the bed, pulling the covers up over us to our hips as I laid down beside her. _Was this what she was wearing when she was with Jasper?_ "Is this new, love?" I asked as I began kissing her jawline up to her favorite spot behind her ear.

"Yes, actually. Alice, as usual, surprised me with a new outfit this morning. Do you like it?" Bella sounded so nervous. I could only imagine why.

"It's perfect," I said as I moved down her jawbone to her neck. I moved my hand to her stomach and began to lightly caress her skin, rolling my finger in circles around her belly-button. It felt so soft, so warm, and I loved the way her muscles clenched and unclenched underneath my touch. _Did she react that way for Jasper?_ I fought back the growl and refocused my attention to Bella. Her eyes were clouded with desire, her lips red and swollen from our kisses, open slightly as she panted. She looked so lovely, and hopeful, and delicate, and breakable. I stopped again and stared at the bruises on her arms. _Could I really do this?_ Then another thought entered my mind. _Jasper did._ My need to reclaim what was rightfully mine overtook my need to protect Bella. I kissed her again as my hand moved up and cupped her breast, rolling my thumb over the lace. I could feel her nipple harden and pebble. _Mine._ _If He touched her here, so could I._ I slid the straps of the bra down her arm and began kissing her shoulders as I reached under her bra to take her fully into my palm. "Esquisite. Mine," I whispered into her soft flesh.

I lifted Bella up and reached behind her to unclasp her bra, pulling it away from her body, being careful to not touch her bruises. Bella looked at me and smiled, but I swear it still looked as though tears were threatening to appear. It made me even more angry, and more determined. _I will erase his very name from her mind,_ I thought as I lowered her back onto the pillows, kissing her once more before taking her nipple into my mouth. Her blood pulsed against my lips and I fought back the urge to bite down. I fought even harder against the urge to leap up and take myself a safe distance from Bella. _Jasper didn't stop_. Neither would I.

I sucked lightly, feeling her nipple lift into my mouth against my tongue as she moaned in pleasure. _That's better._ I moved to her other breast and did the same, playing with the now wet nipple I had abandoned. She seemed to like it when I squeezed it. _Did He do that to you Bella? Did you moan for him, too?_ I squeezed it again, harder, and she moaned even louder, grabbing a handful of my hair in her hand, half caressing, half pulling. I could smell her arousal, stronger than I'd ever smelled it before. _Except, of course, for that night you went hunting. That, too, will be a memory soon forgotten for her._ I kissed my way down her stomach, stopping to roll my tongue around her belly button as I unbuttoned her white slacks.

Bella lifted her head, still much too coherent for my liking. "Edward, are you sure?"

"Of course, love, mind over matter. Now lay back down." She eyed me curiously for a moment before she gave in and did as I asked.

I pulled her slacks off her hips slowly, but as soon as I lowered them past her hips I was stunned by the intensity of her arousal. Her white lace panties, which matched the bra, were practically see through from the amount of moisture soaked in them, wrapped tightly around her pink, throbbing lower lips. My erection became painful, pushing against the zipper of my slacks as if it had a mind of its own, and the monster reared its ugly head once more. I wanted nothing more than to rip off our clothes, throw her legs over my shoulders and pound into her relentlessly until I was completely satisfied. I wanted nothing more than to take the one thing I knew Jasper had not. I wanted nothing more than to leave. My Bella deserved better than this. I inhaled deeply, relishing the scent of her wafting around me, calling me like a siren tempting me to hell. _Jasper knows this aroma. He has seen the beauty in front of me. He did not resist it. He touched her…there. He has felt what I have not. _"Mine." I finished taking off her pants and snaked my hands back up her legs, wrapped my fingers in the fabric near her hipbones and removed her panties in one swift motion.

I pushed her legs open wide and watched in wonder as her lips parted for me, throbbing and glistening in the pale light. I wanted to taste her. I had to taste her. I couldn't taste her. _This is wrong. We shouldn't be doing this. This should be our wedding night. No, not even then. Bella is too precious, too breakable. This is dangerous. But it didn't stop Him, did it?_ I pushed her knees up flush with her chest, raising her lower back up off the bed, and slowly licked her core, drinking in all the juices flowing there for me. So sweet, so delicious. _Did He think you tasted good, Bella? _Her feminine juices tasted even more like her blood then her mouth had, and it scared me. I sucked it up greedily, licking my tongue in irratic circles, darting in and out of her to scoop up each new drop that appeared. Bella's head was tossing back and forth, incoherent moans were all that were escaping her ruby red lips. _Before I am done, she will scream my name_, I promised myself. _MY Name_.

Her moaning got louder, begging for more when I slid first one, and then two fingers inside her entrance at a frenzied pace, continuing to lick her as my free hand reached around and grabbed her bottom. _Did Jasper do this to you? Does he know what it feels like to have his fingers plunge in and out of you? _Suddenly her hips arched her into my mouth as her muscles clenched tight around me, the bundle of nerves under my tongue pulsating against me. "Edward!" I sped up my ministrations with increasing force. I had to hear my name escape her lips again.

"Say my name, Bella. Scream it."

A second climax slammed into her and she began thrashing. "Edward! Yes!" I held still, licking her slowly as she came down from her orgasm, then gently removed my fingers, ignoring the pale bruises starting to form on and around her folds. I sucked the remaining juices from my fingers before caressing her sides as I kissed my way back up to lay next to her, kissing her neck and her ear haphazardly with satisfaction. _I'll bet He didn't make you feel that good_.

"What did you just say?" Bella snarled at me, quickly shifting her body away from my touch.

**A/N: So I can't decide which way to go. . .why don't we set up stations and rotate every half an hour or so...first Emmett Pilates, then a hot oil massage from Jasper, then Carlisle Yoga after we're all loosened up, then Adrian sundaes, and finally some sauna time with Edward...sound good? **


	17. Chapter 17: Lost and Found

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**A/N: The second chapter of Edward's Release is up. I am considering writing an alternate ending for the 'other' guy. Let me know if you're interested. Oh, and for all the people looking for Carlisle and Esme, here they are!**

**Bella's POV**

When Alice picked me up and carried me back to the house, I was both thankful and irritated. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Adrian or Jasper, but I knew that they wouldn't have let me go without a fight. If I were in their shoes, I would have fought tooth and nail, too. But when I walked in the door and found Edward sitting calmly at the piano, I felt I had made the right decision. When Edward asked me if I loved him, I had to hold back the tears. He no longer knew for certain that I loved him. I caused the pain and doubt I saw in his eyes. When he asked me to go away with him, I knew in a heartbeat that I would. I owed him that. Besides, it would give us a chance to talk, to try and work things out away from the supernatural hearing of the others. Talking, however, seemed to be the last thing on Edward's mind.

He had lied about the cost of the hotel room, of that I was certain. He always lied whenever he spent money on me that he knew I would not approve of. Did he really think I was too stupid to realize what he was doing? It was just that I usually figured it wasn't worth the fight. I did like the idea of the warming lamps and the towel warmers.

No sooner had the bellman left than Edward pulled me into a passionate embrace, but the moment my tongue touched his lip he pulled away. I couldn't help but think of the kiss I had shared with Jasper, so free of this drama and fear. I couldn't dwell on it for long, however, because Edward pulled me back in, this time plunging his tongue into my mouth without hesitation. There was something possessive about this kiss, to the point where I just gave in and allowed it to happen, as opposed to being an active participant. When he grabbed my arms in the same place he had the day before, I struggled to keep from screaming in pain, but was unable to suppress a moan.

Edward fell to his knees and looked so distressed as he apologized. I forgave him, as I hoped he would forgive me. Edward had been hurt, and although it was no excuse for he had done, he had physically hurt me. I had been hurting, too, and although it was no excuse for what I had done, I had cheated on Edward. I really wanted to talk about everything, get it all out in the open so we could try and work through it. But Edward wouldn't hear of it. He just blew it off as his fault for 'creating the situation' as he put it. I wanted to protest but he dazzled me and the next thing I knew we were on the bed and going farther than he had ever dared to go before. It was everything I'd ever dreamed of until he took my breast in his hand. It still felt wonderful but out of nowhere I heard him say 'Mine.' I had heard him say things like that before; 'You are mine' or 'You belong to me,' but I had always interpreted that as a vow of endearment. This was different. This was possessive and jealous. This was 'Mine, not Jasper's.'

In fact, the whole experience felt wrong in my head, as though he was doing this for all the wrong reasons. My body, however, did not agree, and writhed and moaned under his touch. At one point I tried to stop him, to make sure this was really what he wanted, but once again he brushed me off. 'Of course, mind over matter, now lay back down,' he had said. A few more utterances of 'Mine' and I was beginning to curse my own body. Why did this feel so wrong when this should be the most right thing in the world? I was not unaware of the irony in that statement. It didn't feel wrong when I was with Jasper, when it probably should have. But then my body betrayed me and I could no longer think clearly enough to care as Edward brought me to an amazing climax. Then he ordered me to scream his name, and my heart ached while my body obeyed as a second orgasm wracked my body. As soon as the sensations started to dissipate, I felt sore in my nether region and insides. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry but I didn't want to make Edward feel bad. He had been so afraid for so long of hurting me in a moment of passion; I didn't want to prove him right. Then seconds later the pit in my stomach grew when Edward whispered in my ear 'I'll bet HE didn't make you feel that good' as he kissed my ear.

"What do you just say?" I suddenly felt so…dirty. He hadn't been intimate with me just now because he loved me. He had done it because of Jasper. He had done it out of jealousy or competition, or just to take back what he thought was his property. He'd used me.

His stunned expression led me to believe he hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Is this just a game to you? Am I just some toy? Some possession? Is that what this," I waved my hand around the ridiculously expensive room, "is about?" I shirked away from him and wrapped the sheet around myself as I got off the bed.

His face went from stunned, to pained, to expressionless. He sat silent. I retreated to the bathroom, locking the door to indicate my desire for privacy, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I cried for Edward. I cried for Jasper. I cried for Alice. I cried for me. When I finally couldn't cry anymore, I got dressed and cringed in pain from the pressure the pants were putting on my sensitive areas. I walked a little bowlegged to the sink and splashed some water on my face. I looked a mess, my eyes were bloodshot, my lips were swollen and bruised, my hair was in tangles. I didn't care.

I opened the door to the bathroom and found Edward in the exact same position, with the exact same expression, as when I had gone into the bathroom. "Can we talk about this? Please?"

"No." He wouldn't even look at me.

"Then take me home, Edward."

"We won't be able to get a flight out until tomorrow, Isabella." Edward stated flatly.

"Fine. Tomorrow." I sat on the opposite corner of the bed from Edward and pulled my knees to my chest.

Edward's expression softened. "Bella, you must be hungry. I made us dinner reservations at a local four star restaurant, it's supposed to be fabulous, why don't we go out, you can have a nice dinner and we'll go sightseeing tonight, forget about all this?"

"That's what you said back at the house, too, Edward, 'forget all this,' but that doesn't seem to be working, does it? We have to talk through this if we're ever going to get past it."

"I can't, Bella. I don't want to think about any of it. Not what you did wrong, or what I did wrong, or…or any of it." Edward wouldn't even look me in the eye. "I can see you're tired. Why don't I just order you room service then?" He got up and walked into the living area without another word. I had no idea what he ordered me; he never asked me what I wanted to eat. It didn't matter, I wasn't hungry anyway.

Neither of us said another word the rest of the night, or the next morning, or on the plane ride back. When we got in the car Edward asked me where I wanted him to take me and I told him Charlie's house. He sighed, but did so without complaint. When he pulled into the driveway, I turned to him and said the hardest thing I've ever had to say in my life.

"Edward, I don't think we should see each other for a while. I need some time to be alone and think this all through."

"Will you really be alone, Bella?" Edward asked, sadness mixed with sarcasm.

"Yes, Edward. I'm going to tell…everyone else…the same thing. Except maybe Alice and Adrian."

Edward sighed with resignation. "Alright, Bella. When you're ready, I'll be waiting." I got out of the car and turned to tell him I loved him, but he was already driving away.

**Jasper's POV**

After Alice went upstairs, I told Adrian the whole story of what had happened between Bella and me. "Wow, I never thought Bella'd be the type to cheat on her boyfriend." Adrian looked like he wished he could take the words back as soon as he said them.

I hung my head in shame. "It really wasn't like that. This wasn't supposed to happen. But it did, and I can't change that now. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to. I love her."

"No, man, I'm sorry, don't take it like that. I'm on your side. That's rough, seriously. Don't worry, I know Bells, I could see it in her eyes back there at the picnic – she loves you, too."

"I know she does, but is it enough?" I was beginning to doubt it.

"Only time will tell. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Alice was acting like this was a chess match, like I should plot out my next five moves, but this isn't a game and Bella isn't just some prize to be won. She's with him right now, and until she says otherwise, I have to live with it." _Even if it kills me. Not an easy feat considering I'm already dead. But it might._

"I hear what you're saying. Still, all's fair and love and war right? That Edward dude seems like a jerk, I don't like him. He physically hurt Bells out of anger – that's a 'one strike and you're out' as far as I'm concerned."

"It's a little harder when you're a vampire. Remember your car door handle? Bella understands, I'm sure she's forgiven him for that already." _But I haven't._

"Yeah, well, she was always a little too quick to forgive."

I laughed at that as Alice came back downstairs, her tiny arms full of schoolbooks. "I'm going upstairs for a while. See you two later."

I went up to my room and threw myself onto the couch with a thud. What were they doing right now? Was he touching her? Was he making her laugh? Was he making her cry? I wondered briefly if this is what Bella had gone through on mine and Alice's 'vacation.' If so, I would have to find a way to make it up to her someday, because this was pure torture. I refused to close my eyes, begging the mental images of her in his arms not to come. Alice said he was going to level the playing field. I hadn't actually slept with Bella. Was it wrong to hope that he didn't, either? Did I care anymore if it was wrong or right? My love for Bella felt right. Nothing had ever felt more right.

I hadn't moved from my spot until the next day when my phone began singing "We've Got Tonight." Bella!

"Bella, are you okay?" I didn't want to sound desperate and panicky but I did.

"Yes, Jasper, I'm fine. I'm home. Can you talk right now?"

"Of course, do you want me to come over?"

"Yes, very much," I was already half way down the stairs. "But don't." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Edward and I are separating for a while. Taking a break, I guess you could say. But I promised him that I would stay away from _both_ of you while I took some time to think." My heart, soaring just a moment before, sunk into my stomach. Alice was right, this was a game, and Edward was playing to win.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I could tell from her voice she'd been crying. Every cell in my body was pulling me to the door. I wanted, no I _needed_, to hold her, to comfort her; I needed it like a fish needs water.

"No, just give me the space I need to sort this all out, okay?"

"Okay, darlin', I'll miss you terribly, but if this is what you need, then I'll do it."

"I'll miss you, too. Bye, Jasper." More sniffles. I wished I could cry too.

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered. I heard the line disconnect and Bella was gone.

Ten Weeks. The last time that Edward or I had spoken to Bella was 10 agonizing weeks ago. At least Edward got to see her at school. Alice and Adrian took pity on me, and would give me daily updates. Edward had tried, at first, to convince her to talk to him, to no avail. He left flowers in her locker which she threw away. He left notes that went unanswered. He'd even left a diamond tennis bracelet once hoping she would get angry and yell at him. Bella just gave it to Alice. Finally, he gave up. He had even taken to going to the library or his car during lunch period so that the Alice, Adrian, and Bella could sit together without feeling awkward. Then after school he would sulk around the house for a few hours before going to stalk Bella's house from the woods.

I just waited.

Alice said Bella was depressed, but was trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy. She and Bella went to all the school football games, and as Bella had predicted, Adrian had led the Spartans to an undefeated season and a Division Championship. All the scouts came out to watch his last game. He'd already been offered a full ride to USC, Florida State, Alabama, and Ohio State.

Bella had talked to Carlisle about going into pre-med. With all the times she'd had doctors come to her rescue, she wanted to do the same for others, but she wasn't sure she could handle the blood. Carlisle assured her that if he could do it, so could she. He was so proud of her that he bestowed upon her the (very newly created) Carlisle Cullen Scholarship Fund, which Bella only agreed to accept if he allowed her to work as his assistant at a reduced salary one year for every year he paid her way.

Alice, Adrian and Bella had decided to all attend college together. USC and Florida were out as they were much too sunny. So it was down to Alabama or Ohio State. Alabama had a better football program, but Ohio State had a better pre-med program. They hadn't made a decision yet. I really didn't care where they went, as long as I could go with them. As much as Alice and Adrian tried to reassure me it would all work out, I was too depressed and heartbroken to have much hope. Still, I didn't argue when Adrian gave me the applications.

Adrian had become great friends with both Alice and I. Why he and Alice hadn't escalated to more than friends, I didn't know. Perhaps with all the turmoil they found it to be bad form. It was obvious even to someone without my abilities that they both cared deeply for the other. The only times they were separated were football practices and when he slept. Alice spent most of her nights at Bella's house, to ward off unwanted guests, I'm sure.

Then came the day after Thanksgiving. Alice and Adrian had dragged poor Bella to Seattle before dawn to hit all the Black Friday sales. From what they told me, they ran her ragged through every department store and boutique they could find. By the end of the day she'd been stressed out beyond belief. Alice and Adrian came back to our house after dropping Bella off so she could bring home all her packages and do Christmas wrapping, but had warned Edward on his way out not to get any ideas while he was watching her house. About an hour later, Edward burst through the front door, practically taking it off its hinges. We all ran to the living room to find out what was behind all the commotion. "Victoria," he growled.

"She's here?" Alice was shocked.

"Jacob came and told me. The pack is on her tail, which is probably why you didn't see her, but she keeps bouncing up and down the boundary line. Emmett and Rosalie, head north along the boundary line. Jasper and Esme, you head south. Carlisle and I will start from the last point the pack saw her and try and follow her scent. Alice, go get Bella, take her away. Anywhere, I don't care, maybe tell her you want to go to NYC to go Christmas shopping. Take her by force if you have to, just get her out of here. Jacob's watching the house until you get there. Charlie is already in LaPush fishing with Billy. Alright, let's…"

"No," I said quietly.

"No, what exactly, Jasper? Did I not mention _Victoria_ is out there?" Edward asked through his teeth. I could feel the anger he was directing at me.

"No, we are not going to lie to Bella. No, we are not going to take her by force. She deserves to know the truth. She would want to know what's going on," I said defiantly.

"I agree," Alice nodded as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Even Rosalie looked disgusted. "Edward, you moron! You want to know why you're losing Bella? THIS is why you're losing Bella." She turned and walked upstairs, presumably to change into something more appropriate for hunting vampires.

"It's already done. I went to her house, I told her Alice had a vision of them going on a trip. She's packing as we speak," Edward's face was determined, though shock was rippling through him at our reactions.

"Aww, man, why'd you do that?" Emmett asked him shaking his head.

"You lied about me having a vision?! I would never lie about that, abuse my power that way! Our family, Bella included, trusts me to always be honest about what I see," Alice shouted.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Edward screamed, causing vibrations on the glass.

"You're right, Edward. We don't," Carlisle said calmly. Edward looked smug until he continued. "Alice, go get Adrian, bring him back here. His scent will be at Bella's house, we don't want to give Victoria another target. Jasper, go get Bella, tell her what's going on, ask her to come back here with you. While you're there, tell Jacob to meet us here so we can coordinate our attack with the pack."

"But Carlisle…" Edward pleaded while Esme put the code in the security system, closing the steel barricade over the glass wall.

"No, Edward. This is the way it's going to be," Carlisle said in a voice that ensured his word was final on the matter. Edward hung his head in resignation as Alice and I sprinted off.

**A/N: Edward left to go hang out at Edward's Release, so Adrian took over the shower rotation, and Jacob decided to come hang out at the naked dessert station. Since he runs such a high temp, he chose Hot Fudge! **


	18. Chapter 18: Victoria

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. I sat on Santa Edward's lap and asked him if I could have it for Christmas, though!**

**A/N: I need to thank the wonderful Istehar for not only translating my story into French, but taking the extra time and effort to translate the reviews into English and send them to me. You are beyond wonderful! Also, to IKP, who I love but always reviews anonymously so I can't reply... "I-O!" This chapter is kind of short, because I didn't have a great place to stop between chapters, so I just chose to stop inbetween points of view. The next chapter, titled "Bella's Choice" should be up later tonight.**

**Jasper's POV**

I could smell, but not see, the werewolf in the woods as I approached Bella's house. Still, I knew he would hear me. "Jacob, I am going to ask Bella to come back to the house. If she agrees, Carlisle has asked you to please follow us back so we can coordinate our attack." I heard a howl in response. _I'll take that as a yes._

I thought briefly of knocking on the front door, I knew Bella was probably sick of the various Cullens just jumping through her bedroom window unannounced. Still, the situation called for a sense of urgency, so I quickly ascended the tree. Looking through the window, I saw Bella wearing my t-shirt and a pair of shorts, which made me smile. She had a soft smile on her face as she was packing her suitcase. I tapped lightly on the window. She turned her head and when she saw me I raised my eyebrows expectantly. She rolled her eyes in return and motioned for me to come in. Luckily, she didn't seem angry I was there.

The moment I opened the window I was overcome with the smell of Bella's arousal. I would know that scent anywhere. It was what heaven smelled like. Bella's emotions rolled over me a moment later – calm, relaxed, contentment. Then I realized…Edward had been here, I glanced at the clock, 30, maybe 45 minutes ago. I held my breath, the perfume of my heaven suddenly felt like the stench of my hell. My heart felt as though it had been crushed in a vice. Bella must have seen the expression on my face. She looked at me quizzically and walked to me slowly, putting her hand to my cheek. Against my will, I leaned my head into her hand, relishing the warmth and comfort she offered.

"Remember our secret code?" She asked me in a whisper.

"Yes?" It came out more like question. Maybe I had misinterpreted the signs. Maybe she hadn't been with Edward. It was too much to hope. "Bella, did you…" _pleasure yourself?_

"Yes," she interrupted me with a whisper, putting her other hand on my face. I reached out tentatively and put my hands lightly on her waist.

"Were you thinking of me?" I whispered back, leaning my face down so our foreheads touched.

"Yes," she said before pulling away from my embrace. "I was really stressed out, between the crowds at the mall, and Alice and Adrian dragging me all over the place, and then Edward showing up telling me about Alice's vision and wanting to say goodbye first. I was about to explode. I thought it might help." She chuckled, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Did it?" She nodded as she returned to packing her suitcase. "I'm glad. Listen, as much as I've missed you, I came here for a reason. Victoria is looking for you. We think you would be safer back at the house while we try and track her down. Will you come with me?"

"But Edward said Alice had a vision of us going on a trip, was Alice wrong?" Bella was confused, understandably so. It would be so easy for me to throw Edward under the bus right now, but I couldn't. _Fight fair,_ Alice's voice echoed in my head.

"I think you should ask Edward about that. There isn't much time. If you want to go back to the house with me, we have to leave now. Jacob is waiting outside to escort us back." Bella suddenly felt suspicion, and fear.

"What about Charlie?" Her voice quivered. I wanted to hold her and make it all go away. I wanted it so bad I could taste it.

"Already taken care of. Billy's keeping him in LaPush for an extended weekend fishing trip."

Bella nodded. "Just let me change real quick."

I smiled, "I see you're still wearing my shirt."

She smiled back as she went to her closet. "I had to wash it, so it doesn't smell like you anymore, I'm afraid. Now turn around." Under other circumstances I might have tried to convince her it was silly, all things considered, but not today. Not when I didn't know where I stood with Bella. Not when Victoria was out there somewhere trying to kill the woman I love. My jaw clenched as I thought about how many different ways I wanted to destroy that vile creature.

As soon as Bella changed, she hopped on my back and I sprinted through the woods to the house, Jacob right behind me. I tried not to concentrate on her hair swirling around me, her breath tickling my neck, or her legs wrapped around my waist. I especially tried not to think about her breasts pressed into my shoulder blades or the heat warming my lower back from between her legs. When we got to the house, Alice was already inside with Adrian. Edward and Carlisle were waiting on the porch.

Carlisle walked towards the treeline to speak to Jacob, who had shifted back to human form. Edward barely waited for her to descend from my back before picking her up bridal style and carrying her into the house. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I was only trying to protect you. I didn't want you anywhere near here with that wretched woman on the loose. Please forgive me!" Edward had assumed I told her of his fabrication. He set her down inside and her emotions were flooded with confusion, and then suddenly, realization, followed by anger. Bella's face scrunched up and turned red, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"You LIED to me?! About Alice's vision! You made it all up so you could hide what was going on from me? How could you? How dare you!" Tears were welling up and threatening to boil over. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go to her, but it didn't seem like the right thing. Luckily, Carlisle came back inside just then and stepped in between them, his back to Edward before Edward even had a chance to respond.

The feelings of pure, parental love that rolled off Carlisle towards Bella amazed me. He loved us all, but even though he was the head of our family and played the part of our father, it was different with us. We weren't actually teenagers, we were hundred plus year old vampires. But sweet Bella really was a teenager, one whom he had taken under his wing, had saved and healed more times than he could count, and he had accepted her as his daughter long ago. The only other one I ever experienced Carlisle feel this type of love for was Edward, perhaps since Edward was still a teenager himself when Carlisle took him in. I watched in awe as Carlisle took Bella into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly while she cried. "There, there, Bella. Everything is going to be okay, you'll see." He looked my way pointedly.

"Bella, can I help you calm down?" I asked her. When she sniffled an affirmative response, I sent waves of calm to Bella, and a wave of gratitude to Carlisle that did not go unnoticed.

Carlisle leaned his cheek onto the top of her head as he held her. "I understand, Bella, I do. But as misguided as Edward's actions were, and I agree with you that he made a poor choice, remember that he did so with the best of intentions at heart. Victoria is after _you_, and none of us could bear to lose you." Bella nodded into his chest, and determination and resolve came to the forefront as she gave Carlisle one last tight squeeze before releasing him. She wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve and stood up with her jaw set.

"What's the plan?" She asked. Carlisle regarded her for a moment, making sure she was actually settled down before responding.

"Jacob and I have temporarily eliminated the boundary lines. Victoria seems to know exactly where the line is, and has been skirting on the edge, eluding them. I am going to have Esme stay with you and Adrian. I doubt Victoria will come here, but even if she does, I trust you are in good hands. She has the deadliest maternal instinct of anyone on the planet." Esme smiled at the compliment. Carlisle turned his attention to the rest of the group. "Jasper, Edward and I are teaming with Jacob and Sam. Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice – you three will go further north. There's a chance she might try and cut across the boundary line and make a run for the beach. Quil and Embry will team up with you there. The remaining wolves are doing patrols on the border and by both our house and Bella's house trying to pick up a fresh trail. Does anyone have any questions?" When no one said anything, he clapped his hands once. "Alright then, let's get going."

Edward gave Bella one last pained stare. She told him to be careful, and he turned without another word. Everyone else followed suit, Emmett and Rosalie first, then Carlisle. Alice and I brought up the rear.

Adrian stood up and took Alice by the hand as she walked by. "Ally-Angel, come back safe. Come back to me. I just found you, I don't want to lose you." He lowered his head and kissed her lips softly. Alice froze for a moment, but then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. He cinched his arms around her tiny waist and stood up, still kissing her, her feet dangling in the air. Adrian was afraid that their first kiss might be their last. It was such a tender moment, I looked away, not wanting to intrude, and turned straight into the doe-eyes of Bella.

She said nothing, just stood and walked around the coffee table to me until we were barely an inch apart, her eyes never leaving mine. She took my hands into her own, but made no other moves. I stood paralyzed in the moment, wanting to scoop her up and kiss her, hug her, tell her how much I loved her, but I couldn't, not until I was certain she had made her choice. After what seemed like forever just getting lost in Bella's eyes, Alice tugged my elbow. "It's time to go," Alice said softly. Something in my gaze must have shifted because Bella nodded silently and released my hands. Alice and I closed the door behind us as we left. I waited to hear the deadbolts click before I joined the others.

**A/N: Jasper's line for massages was getting too long, so Carlisle decided to help him out, promising happy endings with every massage. Emmett is naked in the hot tub waiting for company. Adrian took over shower rotation since Jacob has disappeared again. Enjoy!**


	19. Chapter 19: Bella's Choice

**Disclaimer: All I want for Christmas...is Twilight.**

**A/N: I want to thank all my forum girls over at Twilighted, and all the ladies who take the time to PM me after they review and chat some more. I've made so many new friends as a result of this story, and I am so thankful for that. I needed a whole box of tissues to write this chapter, and I wouldn't have made it through without you guys! If the guy you were rooting for didn't win, fear not. I am writing him an alternate ending, because I love them both. :)**

**Bella's POV**

After they left, I motioned for Adrian to follow me and we went into the kitchen to find a snack, settling down at the table with some carrot sticks and ranch dressing.

"So how often does this shit happen?" he asked me. I knew that voice, that was Football Adrian, Tough-Guy Adrian, which meant he was scared half out of his wits. I swallowed back my own panic and tried to appear calm for his sake.

"This is the third time since I've known them. The first time that we ran into their group, there were three of them. One of them, James, was Victoria's mate. He followed me to Phoenix and tried to kill me, but the Cullens got to him first. The next time, the third person in their group, Laurent, tried to kill me; the werewolves got to him just in time. Now this. That's if you don't count the Volturi, who I thought was going to kill us in Italy." I crunched on a carrot stick, willing myself to appear nonchalant. I wanted to be out there, to be helping them, but I couldn't. "Every time it tears me up inside. I'm afraid I'm going to lose someone I love."

"And who might that be?" Adrian asked with one eyebrow raised. I wasn't expecting the conversation to take this turn. He and Alice had been very good about not bringing up this particular topic.

"I love them all, Adrian, just like I love you. They are my family." It was the truth, even if it wasn't the answer he was looking for.

"That's not what I meant, Jingle Bells. You've kept those guys waiting for ten long weeks. It's time to let them off the hook. They both love you, and are both out there right now risking their lives for you. They deserve to know what you're going to do."

"I know."

"Why have you kept them waiting so long? I know you've been just as miserable as they have." That was certainly the truth. Few days had gone by where I hadn't broken down crying on either his or Alice's shoulder.

"Honestly, and DO NOT repeat this to anyone," I lowered my voice on the off-chance I could hide it from Esme, "I was waiting for the bruises to heal." Adrian looked at the bruises on my arms, which were now faded to an ugly yellowish color and were no longer clearly shaped like hands.

"Bella, everyone knew about those bruises already, what's that got to do with anything?"

"Not those bruises," I muttered even lower. Adrian's face immediately contorted with rage.

"Where, Bella, where are the bruises you're talking about? Can you show me? Or do I not want to see them? Did he hurt you again? If that Victoria doesn't kill him, I swear I'll kill him myself! There's got to be a way." He stood up and began pacing the room.

Esme poked her head in the door. "Everything alright, dears?"

"Yes, Esme, everything's fine. I'm sorry." Esme closed the door again and I hissed at Adrian. "Sit. Down." He scowled at me but did as I asked.

"One; I am fine. Two; I am not going into details, so forget it. And as for making my choice, I think I have. I will talk to them when they get back." _I pray to God they do both come back, that they ALL come back._

"So when did you know?" Adrian asked as he got up and went to the fridge and poured us each a glass of apple juice. His voice was still on edge, but I couldn't tell if it was because he was still angry or because he was afraid of what they were facing somewhere in the woods.

"My heart has been pulling me in his direction for a while. The more I think about it, the more it just feels right. But it's hard, you know, because I love them both. They are both amazing, wonderful men and the thought of hurting either of them kills me. But not choosing is just killing us all slowly." The now familiar pain in my chest that occurred every time I thought about what I had to do was aching and burning. I needed to change the subject. "Look who's talking! It took you how long to finally kiss Alice?"

Adrian smiled, lost in the memory for a moment. "Alright, you win. It's really different, kissing a vampire, isn't it? I mean, it was wonderful, don't get me wrong, just different."

"I don't know. I have only kissed two people my entire life, and they were both vampires," I smiled ruefully.

"Oh wow, so you have nothing to compare it to. Well, I suppose you could imagine nonetheless. Alice's lips were cold, like the rest of her, but not in a bad way, and much firmer, less yielding than I'm sure mine feel to her. I'd kiss you once so you had a point of reference, but I think Alice has learned her lesson about allowing that type of thing to occur," Adrian laughed. I punched him in the arm. Hard. Twice.

"Ow! Cut it out! That's my throwing arm, Hells Bells!" He said, still laughing.

"Well I guess it's a good thing it's the off-season then, isn't it?" I laughed back as I punched him in the same spot one last time with everything I had.

"Okay, okay, I deserved that. You win," Adrian was still chuckling and then his expression turned serious. "I think I love her, Bella. I really do. Like, a lot. I keep trying to forget where she is right now, but I can't. Is this all part and parcel to the whole singer thing, be the weak human in distress hidden away while the ones you love fight for your life?"

"Unless one of them turns you into a vampire, I guess. Although from what I understand it happens a lot more since I've been around."

"Wait a minute, she could, could…could turn me into a vampire if she wanted to? Why didn't Edward do that for you? You'd be safe, you wouldn't grow old, he wouldn't keep inflicting damage on your body unintentionally…" I swear there was venom in his voice with that last part.

"I have asked, no, I have begged him to. He thinks you lose your soul when you become one of them. He doesn't want me to lose my humanity. As much as he denies it, I think some part of him would miss the human part of me. He loves that I'm vulnerable, because he likes saving me. He loves that I'm clumsy because he likes catching me when I fall. He loves my warmth, my heartbeat, even the smell of my blood. Truth be told, part of me has always been afraid that even if he did turn me, he wouldn't love me anymore because the parts he loves most would be gone."

Adrian looked like he had eaten a rotten piece of food. "First of all, the idea that they don't have a soul is absolute rubbish. I don't believe that for a minute. I have seen more kindness and humanity from this family of vampires than I have anywhere else in my life. Second, if there's even a doubt in your mind whether he would love you regardless of the physical changes, then maybe he's not the right guy for you." He looked quite smug at the end of his little speech, satisfied that he had come across as the sage and all-knowing best friend dispensing his wisdom from on high. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Would you want to become one of them?" I asked.

"Maybe, but not until after college. I'm pretty sure being a member of the undead would ruin my chances of winning the Heisman. Besides, it's much too soon to think about that. I mean, I've only kissed her once and that was in a room full of people!"

Just then, Esme called to us. "They're back!"

We ran into the living room to see Carlisle come through the door, swooping Esme up in a tight embrace. "It's over, dear. She'll never bother us again."

Edward came in next, and ran to me, picking me up, giving me a quick but firm kiss, then hugging me for dear life. I hugged him back as the tears started rolling down my face. Jasper came in behind him and I saw him over Edward's shoulder. He had entered the room with a big smile on his face, but it fell in the instant our eyes met. He walked over to Adrian and they grabbed each others' forearm and slapped each other's shoulders in victory. Then he sprinted upstairs, presumably to his room. Alice was next. She gave me a hug, and then shocked everyone when she picked Adrian up bridal style and ran to her room. Emmett and Rosalie were last. Rosalie went upstairs without a word, but Emmett pulled me from Edward's arms to give me a hug. "Thanks for the excitement, kiddo. That was fun!" He put me down and followed Rosalie upstairs. Somewhere along the line Carlisle and Esme had made their exit as well, leaving Edward and I alone.

"Jacob and the rest of the pack, they're all okay, too?" I asked, hoping it was a safe assumption since everyone was so gleeful.

"Yes. Sam corralled her in and Carlisle, Jasper, Jacob and I surrounded her and took her down. It was much easier than anticipated." That was all the detail I needed, really. She was gone and everybody was okay.

Edward was staring at me, his thumb caressing my cheekbone. "Bella, can we go somewhere to talk? Our meadow, perhaps?" I nodded and in one swift movement he had me in his arms running through the woods. The meadow was even more beautiful in the moonlight, the wildflowers tinted in silver. He put me on his feet and then sat down before pulling me onto his lap so I would be sheltered from the cold damp ground. He started running his fingers through my hair absentmindedly before he started to speak.

"Bella, love, I'm so sorry. I have come to realize something the past several weeks. Something that came into sharp focus tonight. I was fighting that battle with two other men who both have very strong feelings for you, one much more than the other. Three, actually, if you count the boundless paternal love that Carlisle has for you. Jasper really loves you, every bit as much as I do, Bella. I realize now that neither of you meant for this to happen, that you didn't want to betray me any more than I wanted to hurt you the way I have, physically or emotionally. Jasper held a memory of you in his thoughts while he battled Victoria, as determined as I was to protect you from her. I saw in that thought that you have the same love in your eyes when you look at him that you have for me. This must be tearing you apart as much as it is us. I don't want you to hurt, Bella. I want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted. For the rest of eternity, that's all I will ever want. There will never be another for me, and even if it's a thousand years from now, if you ever want me back I will be right there by your side without hesitation. Never doubt that and never forget it. But right here, right now, I am not who you need. I know that now, and I don't want to stand in your way." I must have looked panicked, because he kissed me softly before he continued. "I am not going anywhere, Bella. I will be the best friend you have ever had, even if it kills me for a while. And if he ever hurts you, I'll put Adrian's plan into action and bust his nose…before I shred him to pieces."

I nodded wordlessly, the tears flowing without restraint. Edward paused for a minute, then gently kissed each one away as they fell until I calmed down. "I love you, Bella. Forever."

"I love you, too, Edward. Forever." I kissed him again, soft and chaste, and found it wasn't enough. Apparently, it wasn't enough for him, either.

"Bella, can you do something for me?" Edward asked me gently, lifting my chin with his finger to meet his gaze.

"Will you let me stay with you tonight? Just one more night?" I nodded and he stood up with me still in his arms running towards Charlie's. The thought occurred to me that Jasper might mistake our absence to mean I'd chosen Edward over him. As if reading my mind, Edward bent down to whisper in my ear, "Don't fret, Alice will know. She'll tell him not to worry."

Once we were back in my room, I grabbed his favorite midnight blue flannel pajamas; I wouldn't need Jasper's t-shirt tonight. I rushed through my nighttime ritual and returned to find Edward laying on my bed with a smile on his face as if nothing had ever come between us. I fought back the tears once more as I laid down beside him and he wrapped me in the blankets.

"Don't cry, my Bella. I don't want to waste the last hours I get to have you in my arms being sad. This is what you want, isn't it?" The hope in his voice cut me like a knife, and I barely moved a muscle when I nodded my head. He let the pain show through for only a split second. "Alright, love, then let's have no more tears." It occurred to me he was saying it to himself as much as to me. We kissed and cuddled and reminisced for hours in each other's arms until exhaustion finally overtook me. Edward pulled me tighter into his arms and I rested my head on the familiar spot on his chest that had been my pillow what seemed like a lifetime ago. He placed his cheek on my forehead and hummed my lullaby to me one last time as I drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Edward is back, 'cause he feels better now. He is still wearing his Santa thong, with 'candy canes' for everyone who reviewed both chapters, even though you read them at once!**


	20. Chapter 20: The Reunion

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Santa Edward told me I've been naughty this year, so I'm not holding my breath that I'm going to get it for Christmas.**

**A/N: There is a lemon in here. Unless you are a master at the laptop screen slam, choose when you read it with caution. :)**

**Jasper's POV**

I had never been so confused in my life. My emotions were completely out of control. I felt such love coming from Bella before I left for the battle, I had thought for certain that she was going to choose me. Then when we returned to the house, there she was, in Edward's arms, smiling and hugging him, and the love and relief she felt at his safe return was overwhelming, and when she looked at me there was such sadness. I heard Edward ask her to go to the meadow, _their_ meadow, and she said yes. I had thought if Bella was going to stay with him, that she would have talked to me first, but she didn't.

Alice burst through the door without knocking, Adrian a step behind. "I want to be alone, Alice." I said as calmly as I could manage. Adrian leaned against the door frame and smirked.

"No you don't, Jazz, and you're not going to be. Don't worry. You just have to survive one more night." Alice was practically dancing up and down.

"What does that mean?" I looked at her quizzically.

"Just remember the advice I gave you after the picnic," Alice said as she turned around on her heel. Adrian chuckled again and then they were gone, returning me to my thoughts. What all had Alice told me that day? She told me to fight fair, trust Bella, and swallow my jealousy. _I've already done the fight fair part, and I've been through the torture of swallowing my jealousy while they were away. That leaves me with trust Bella. _When it became clear that Edward and Bella weren't returning to the house that night, it became my mantra.

_Trust Bella. _

_Trust Bella. _

_Trust Bella._

I said it with every tick of the clock. It was going to be a very long night. But Alice said I only had to survive one more night and then I wouldn't be alone. If Alice was right, and I never bet against Alice, then there was still hope that Bella would choose me. If so, I wanted to make her return a special one. I got up and set to work. It was much better than thinking. _Hopefully it won't be in vain._

**Bella's POV**

I woke up the next morning still in Edward's arms. He had his face buried in my hair and was inhaling deeply, running his fingers slowly up and down my arm. I looked up and he smiled a sad, crooked smile at me, then leaned down and kissed me softly, just holding his lips to mine. We stared in each other's eyes sharing all the words that didn't need to be said. We stayed that way for the longest time before he finally was the one to break the spell.

"We'd better get back, love." I nodded my head and got up to get dressed. When I opened my closet I found a garment bag with a note from Alice attached that said 'Wear this.' I sighed and took it off the rod and carried it to the bathroom with me to change. Inside was a beautiful pale pink sweater dress. It was simple but elegant, long sleeves with a scoop neckline and fell just above my knees. There was a matching bra/panty set made of pink satin and lace, and a pair of ballerina flats. I dressed quickly, ran a brush through my hair, and threw on a little mascara and lip gloss. When I decided I looked as acceptable as I was going to, I went back to my room. Edward smiled and gave me a hug. "You look beautiful, Bella. I'll have to carry you back; you won't be able to go on my back in that dress," Edward smirked devilishly, "Well, you _could_…" I rolled my eyes at him and he picked me up bridal style and headed back to the house.

When we got back to the house, it was eerily quiet. Edward set me down in the living room and kissed me on the cheek. "He's upstairs waiting for you." He looked thoughtful for a moment before he continued. "Do you want me to pick you up for school on Monday? Friends can do that, right?"

"Right. Yes, I'd like that." Edward flashed me a brilliant smile.

"Okay. Good. Until Monday, then." I nodded my head and started up the stairs. I heard the front door click shut as Edward left.

When I got almost to the door to Jasper's room, it opened for me. I realized that I hadn't been in this room since Jasper moved in. The study had been transformed into an elegant but definitely masculine bedroom. There was a wrought iron full size bed against one wall with a dark red comforter that complimented the burgundy paint. The other three walls still boasted floor-to-ceiling bookcases filled with tomes ranging from Roman civilization to psychology, and of course, Civil War history. But that wasn't what took my breath away. There were hundreds of candles of every shape and size lit all around the dark room, casting a golden glow over everything the light touched, dancing patterns on the walls as they flickered. In the middle of the room stood Jasper, in a charcoal suit, but without a tie, instead having the first two buttons of the crisp white, collarless shirt unbuttoned.

"So have you decided?" he asked, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Yes," I replied. I walked over and took his face in my hands to bring him down to me and kissed him. "I choose you." As soon as I did he opened the flood gates on his powers and I was swept away in the most powerful wave of love and joy as he pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. I'd never felt anything like it before, and I only hoped I could return a fraction of that love to him. It was difficult to believe that this was only our second kiss; it felt so natural. Jasper broke the kiss to allow me to breathe and pulled a small remote out of his pocket. When he hit the button, a slow song began playing through hidden speakers.

"Dance with me, darlin'?" Jasper whispered in my ear as he wrapped me in his arms. We just swayed to the music as he sang in my ear.

_Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start  
I can see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart  
From here on after, let's stay the way we are right now  
And share all the love and laughter, that a lifetime will allow_

_I cross my heart, and promise to  
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true  
In all the world, you'll never find  
A love as true, as mine_

We kept dancing long after the song was over, gradually slowing down until we came to a stop. Jasper bent down and kissed me, starting off slowly and softly, moving us a step at a time towards the bed without ever breaking the kiss until my I felt my legs brush against the comforter. Jasper slid his arm under my knees and picked me up to lay me in the middle of the bed, laying down next to me, leaning on his elbow.

"I love you, Bella. I have waited so long for this day. I thought it would never come." His voice cracked a little towards the end. I put my hand on his cheek and lifted my head to kiss him again, bringing him back down with me. I felt the love coming from him warm me from inside. I could only hope my love did the same for him.

He put one hand on my bent knee and started caressing it lazily with his thumb as we kissed. I slid my hands up to his shoulders and pushed his jacket back. Taking the hint, he released me for a moment to take off the jacket and drop it to the floor before picking up where he left off. He brushed his tongue against my lips and I parted them for him. He sucked my lower lip in his mouth for a moment before releasing it and deepening our kiss. Our tongues danced in sync, neither insisting on dominance over the other. I became aware of his hand slowly moving up my thigh, caressing the skin just below the hem of my dress with his thumb before sliding further towards my hip, then curving around to my bottom. He squeezed lightly and pulled me flush against him. I could feel his arousal pressed against my hip and my heart skipped a beat.

Jasper shifted us so I was on top of him and one hand began running up and down my back while he wrapped my hair in his fingers with the other as our kissing took on a sense of urgency. "God, I've missed you," he breathed in between kisses. When I needed air, Jasper began kissing a trail up my jawline to my ear, nibbling and licking around the edge of it before moving lower along my collarbone, settling on the soft spot at the base of my neck.

Jasper took my hands in his and kissed my knuckles before pushing me up on my knees so he could slowly remove my dress. When the dress fell to the ground next to his jacket, he wrapped his arms around my waist and began placing feather light kisses across my stomach along the edge of my panties while I ran my fingers through his hair. "Have I ever told you how much I love you in pink?" he chuckled against my skin and it sent shivers up my spine. His fingers traced patterns along the backs of my knees slowly moving higher up my thighs. I felt the warmth build between my legs as he got to the bottom hem of my panties. Jasper inhaled deeply and smiled.

"Patience, darlin'. I want to take our time." His hands delicately gripped the fabric and pulled it down to my knees. Jasper got up on his knees, putting us face to face again and kissed me deeply as he unclasped my bra. He held my head in his hand as he lowered me back to the bed and nestled me onto the huge pile of pillows. He began kissing my shoulders as his hands made their way under my bra, which was now loosely hanging on my forearms, feathering his fingers over my nipples and the pebbled against him. He removed my bra and panties and added them to the pile. "Roll over," he said in that husky, commanding voice he had used during my 'lesson.' _God, I love that voice._

I did as he asked, pushing all but one of the pillows out of my way and putting my hands under my head. I closed my eyes, but heard him removing his clothing. The next thing I knew, Jasper climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, leaning back to sit on the heels of his feet, which were on either side of my butt. I could feel his boxers brush against me in the most delicious way. He leaned forward and kissed the back of my neck before sitting back up. I heard a squishing sound and then felt the cold lotion on my back as he began spreading it across my back. I jumped a little at the temperature of the lotion. He chuckled softly, "I'd have rubbed it between my hands first, but that wouldn't have done much to warm it up, I'm afraid." It didn't matter, my body temperature was approaching the boiling point anyway. He began gently massaging my neck and shoulders, taking his time to work out every kink and tight muscle he found. I found myself moaning in pleasure as my body relaxed beneath him. He was putting the slightest bit of body weight on my hips, forcing my most sensitive spot to rub against the comforter with each move he made. I struggled not to grind underneath him, desperate for more friction. He lowered himself so he was settled on my thighs and began kissing the areas he had already kneaded into putty as he began working the muscles in the middle of my back, rubbing his thumbs soothingly up and down my spine. The wetness between my legs increased as I felt his chest come in contact with my slick skin, his icy breath on the back of my neck, his own arousal brushing ever so lightly against my butt cheeks.

"You know, Bella," Jasper whispered in my ear, "I have wanted to do this for you from the first moment my fingers caressed your back during our one night together, but we ran out of time so quickly I never got the chance." He dropped back so he was now sitting above the back of my knees, still putting the majority of his weight on his heels so I could just barely feel him rub against me as he continued massaging my back. He had made his way to my lower back, and took special attention to rub his knuckles into the base of my spine between my hipbones. He then began massaging my buttocks, alternating firm pressure with his knuckles with soothing caresses with his fingers. I groaned again, not realizing how much tension actually built up there. It was wonderful, and not in a purely sexual way. My body had never been so relaxed, and I had never felt so loved as I did at that moment.

When he began massaging my legs, though, all I could think about was how much I wanted him. My heart started beating in overdrive when his fingers rubbed and kneaded the muscles on my inner thigh. A couple of times he accidentally grazed my folds with his knuckles while he moved, and my body instinctually jerked my butt in the air, begging for his touch. He chuckled softly, but kept moving lower. He spent a great deal of time rubbing his thumbs into my feet, using enough pressure so that it wasn't ticklish, before kneading and stretching each toe individually until I turned to mush once more. He moved to the other foot and did the same thing before working his way back up my other leg. When he reached my upper thigh again, my body reacted the same way as before, but this time when I lifted myself for him, I was rewarded with his hand palming my folds, sliding back towards my butt and forward again a few times before teasing me with his fingertips.

"God, darlin', you're so wet," he whispered as he lightly caressed my clit. My hips alternated between lifting up to give him easier access and pushing down into his hand begging for more. He slid one finger into me for the briefest moment, his thumb pressed into the small swatch of skin behind my entrance and I moaned "yes" before he slid back out. I whimpered from the loss of contact before he kissed the curve where my butt cheeks met my thigh and whispered "Not yet."

Jasper gently rolled me over and I spread my legs for him, so my thighs were resting on the outside of his. He put some more lotion in his hands and proceeded to massage my shoulders, arms, and hands before going to work on the front of my legs. By this point the throbbing between my legs was overpowering any sense of relaxation from the massage.

"Jasper, please…" I begged. "I need you."

He slid back up my body to kiss me sweetly, then lowered his mouth to kiss the top of my breast before taking my nipple into his mouth, drawing another moan from me as he twirled his tongue repeatedly against my peak before moving to the other. He continued his leisurely exploration of my body while I played with his blond locks. When he got to the spot on my hip where the strawberry mark he had left there had long since disappeared, he looked at me playfully before sucking on it fervently and replacing it.

Finally he spread my legs further and settled in between them. He kissed me chastely there before starting a slow assault on my clit, teasing it with his tongue as I writhed beneath him. I moaned as the pressure started to build. He slid first one, then a second finger inside me and moved in and out agonizingly slowly, twisting his fingers and caressing my most sensitive spot with every thrust, never removing his tongue from my folds. Gradually he picked up speed. I reached out and found his free hand and grabbed a hold of it for dear life as my hips bucked into him searching for release. Finally the bubble burst and my toes curled as the orgasm tensed and released every muscle in my body. He licked my folds slowly and soothingly until the spasms stopped. Jasper placed one more chaste kiss there before crawling back up my body. He nuzzled into my neck and nibbled my neck as the aftermath of my climax wore off and my breathing returned to normal. I could feel his chest against mine, his breath on my neck, his fingers in my hair and it felt so good. So right.

"I want you, Bella," he whispered as he pressed his erection into my thigh. "I need you. Let me make love to you, darlin'." I nodded slowly, biting my lower lip as I did. Jasper lifted his head to look in my eyes as he repositioned himself. I could feel his hard length pressed lightly against my entrance. "Are you sure, Bella?"

"I've never been more sure of anything, Jasper. I love you." He took my hands into his and lifted them over my head before he kissed me again, whispering he loved me against my lips as he slowly entered me. I knew from our one night together that he was well endowed, but I was not prepared for the intensity of the stretching, and I moaned into his mouth in discomfort. Jasper stopped immediately, but did not back out.

"Bella, let me help you. I can take some of the pain away, replace it with lust. It might make the first time easier for you." I was never more grateful for his ability. He squeezed my hands gently and kissed me again, and I was overcome by a powerful wave of lust. Suddenly the pain was gone, and I could feel the hot juices between my legs flow freely. I wrapped my legs around his lower back and pressed into his butt with my heels as he kissed me, pushing him towards me with all my might.

Jasper chuckled, "Maybe I overdid it." I lifted my head trying to find his lips again. "Okay, darlin', you ready to try again?" I responded by kissing him again, harder. He continued entering me at a snail's pace until he reached my barrier. He lifted his head to look into my eyes as he broke through with a quick thrust. With him completely sheathed in me, we kept still and took in the enormity of the moment. We were finally together, finally one. I felt him inside me, cool against my heat, and it was perfect. I ground my hips against his to let him know it was okay to continue, and he lowered his head to mine as he set a rhythm. He began teasing my nipple with his fingers, still holding my other hand by my head, and I felt my muscles tighten and pulse around him as we climaxed together.

"Oh, Bella, there are no words, darlin', no words at all to describe that." Jasper was breathing heavily as if he really needed the oxygen.

"For me, too, Jasper. I love you."

He kissed my shoulder as he snuggled me next to him and pulled the covers over us. "I love you, too, Bella, so, so much."

I curled my body around him and he draped his arm across my back, his hand resting just below my hip. He pushed my hair, now damp from sweat, off my forehead before he kissed the top of my head. "Sweet dreams, Bella." For the first time in a long time, I knew they would be.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys have moved into the kitchen and are making all my wonderful reviewers cookies. They're kind of messy about it, though. Anybody want to help them? I guarantee it beats the heck out of licking the spoon! **


	21. Chapter 21: Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but it would make a lovely Christmas gift.**

**Epilogue**

**Jasper's POV**

Christmas came quickly that year. Bella and I decided to exchange presents privately after the family celebration so as not to upset Edward. He and Bella were very close friends. They still rode to school every day, sat together in classes and at lunch. They would even talk on the phone every couple of days or hang out whenever I left to hunt. I had to give him credit; he was being a real gentleman about the situation. The only emotion I ever picked up from him was calm, so much so that it made me slightly suspicious. Still, Bella and I made every effort to not throw our happiness in his face. Bella had a strict rule of no displays of affection whenever Edward was within sight or hearing range.

When Edward gave Bella her Christmas gift, I was shocked to say the least. He took her off to the side and whispered in her ear that he had bought it before Thanksgiving but he still wanted her to have it. Bella looked at him tenderly and I could feel the guilt rush through her. It was a large ruby pendant in the shape of a heart on a platinum chain. There was a tiny rectangular platinum charm attached to the clasp. When I looked at it later, I saw that it was engraved "NDNF" on one side and "Forever" was on the other. He told her 'wanted something to remind her' and asked her 'to wear it always.' I thought she would refuse it, or at least put up a fuss, but she didn't, and I couldn't help but be jealous as she held her hair to the side so he could put it on her. I'm sure Edward heard my thoughts but he completely ignored me; he was completely focused on Bella. It was the first time I felt any real emotion from him since Thanksgiving. It was pure love, taunting me with its intensity. I watched his face as he strained not to kiss the back of her neck after he clasped the necklace on her, settling instead on wrapping his arms around her waist and laying his head on her shoulder as he hugged her to him. Bella kissed his cheek quickly and then pulled herself from his embrace to hand him his gift. It was a leather book of some sort, I wasn't sure exactly what. Edward was confused at first, then as he flipped it open to the first page I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude from him. I was dragged from my eavesdropping by Alice.

"Chill out, cowboy, she's yours, remember?" Alice said with grin. She didn't have to read my mind to know exactly what I was thinking. I couldn't ignore the warning bells going off in my head that said Edward hadn't given up, he had just changed strategies. "You know, I'm a little upset you don't react this way about Adrian and me," Alice teased, pulling me from my thoughts.

I turned to her and smirked, "How do you know I don't, _Ally-Angel_?"

She just laughed. "If I didn't know you so well, I might have actually fallen for that. I wonder what's keeping Adrian, anyway. I thought he'd be here by now." Alice's face was scrunched up in frustration. She still hadn't gotten used to not being able to see clearly where he was concerned. It killed her that she didn't know how he was going to react to his Christmas present, for example. Even worse, in her mind, was that she had absolutely no idea what he had gotten her. On that count, I _was_ jealous. In all our years together I had never once managed to surprise her with a gift.

Just then we heard the Mustang pull into the drive and Alice jumped up and ran to the door. She looked as though she was about to come out of her skin. Adrian got some presents out of the trunk with one arm and scooped Alice up by the waist with the other arm, kissing her firmly as she squealed. He didn't put her back down until they were inside and he'd kicked the door closed behind them. "I missed you too, Ally-Angel," he whispered in her ear. "Merry Christmas, everyone!" He called to the group. The love flowing between them was so strong, and I was very happy for her. She had suffered immensely because of me, and had forgiven me much more easily than I deserved.

Adrian had bought her two gifts. The first was a pair of Manolo Blanik pumps which even Rosalie was jealous of. The second was a promise ring, tiny filigree gold with both their birthstones in it. Alice was full of emotions – shock, love, giddiness; it was overwhelming, so much so that I almost didn't notice as Bella approached and put her arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder. I knew Edward must have left if she was snuggling me like this. I kissed her forehead and reveled in the love I felt from her as we returned our attention to the happy couple. Alice had arranged for a New Year's vacation in New York City for them, complete with an after-hours private shopping excursion at Marc Jacobs, and a penthouse suite hotel room overlooking Times Square. Apparently, Edward's failed ruse had given her an idea. She was biting her fingernails nervously as he flipped through the pages, intently reading the itinerary and travel arrangements. Finally he set the papers down and put the poor girl out of her misery as he hugged her tightly to his chest. "Thank you, baby, I love it. I can't wait."

As everyone else began exchanging their gifts, I took Bella's hand and led her quietly to my room so we could exchange gifts. I was feeling quite inferior and inadequate about mine after she had accepted Edward's lavish gift, especially since she had asked me to not spend money on her. Still, Alice had said she would love the gifts, even the one I had put together as something of a joke. Bella sat down on the bed and waited patiently as I returned from the closet holding two gift bags, one much larger than the other.

"Me first," she said, then pulled a small package from behind her back. Inside was an antique silver picture frame. It held an old black and white picture of a southern plantation on a hill, with a large magnolia tree in front. It was my house when I was a human. "Bella, but how?"

"Alice helped," she said with a shrug. I kissed her gently and gave her a hug. "I couldn't love anything more." I stood and picked the packages back up.

"I figured gift bags were safer than wrapping paper," I said with a smile. She scowled at me playfully. I gave her the larger bag first, the one that was something of a gag gift. She pulled out a vinyl tote that had 'Dirty Laundry' embroidered on the side and looked at me quizzically. She opened it to find a dozen of my shirts, some t-shirts and some button-ups, all of which I had worn so they had my scent on them. "For the nights I have to hunt," I said, embarrassed. She laughed and threw her arms around me in a loose hug.

"It's perfect," she said as she kissed my cheek.

"It's not a ruby the size of the crown jewel," I said a bit morosely, lifting the pendant lightly before releasing it to fall back against her.

"Jasper, don't be like that, you know how he is," she said. I could tell she was fighting to keep any emotion from invading her voice, but she couldn't hide it from me. She was nervous, unsure of my reaction. "He bought it before we broke up and I didn't want to hurt his feelings." I wanted to ask her if she intended to wear it after today, but I couldn't bring myself to. I didn't want to ruin the evening being jealous.

Instead, I reached over and handed her the smaller gift bag. Inside was a CD I had made for her of every song I had ever sung for her, plus a few new ones that I thought expressed my love for her. I had scanned the sketch that Alice had drawn of us during our night together at Bella's house and had it burned onto the cover, and titled the disc "Jasper and Bella, Disc 1." She put it in the stereo without a word and returned to sit between my legs with her back against my chest. I held her close to me as "We've Got Tonight" began playing, singing the words in her ear like I had that first night. This time, though, I hoped we had more than just tonight. I hoped for Forever.

Fin.

**I'm so sad this story is at an end, well, except for the alternate ending, which will be two, maybe three chapters.**

**I want to thank you all again for your love and support, there are no words to describe how much it means to me. Please come hang out with me on Facebook and Twitter - links are on my profile.**

**If you haven't yet put this story on your favorites list, please do. I know that's how I find good stories to read! And don't forget to put me on author alert!**

**Some trivia - No one picked up on the fact that in the chapter Alice punched Edward, I titled the chapter Alice Balboa, like from Rocky, and then her singer turned out to be named...Adrian! Come on, that's funny!**

**There are two, possibly three if I didn't edit it out, references to The Princess Bride, including the obvious one.**

**NDNF on the necklace - did you figure it out?**

**Much love,  
Lillie**


	22. Alt Chapter 16: Reconnection

**Disclaimer" I don't own Twiight. You knew that.**

**Edward's Alternate Ending: This chapter replaces Chapter 16: Repossession. It is the first of three or four chapters to the alternate ending. **

**Edward's POV**

I chose Buffalo, New York, for our getaway. It had a wide variety of entertainment and dining options, and the forecast called for clouds all week. I knew Bella wouldn't want anything too extravagant, but I wanted us to have plenty of privacy, so I compromised and made reservations at a little Bed and Breakfast on the outskirts of town. It felt like we were stepping into a Dickens novel when we entered the lobby/living area. They had a beautiful Christmas tree already set up, decorated with pine cones wrapped in tiny red velvet bows, cranberry garland and tiny pillar candles. The smell of gingerbread filled the air. A fire was roaring in the brick fireplace complete with two overstuffed leather chairs with chenille throw blankets draped over the backs. As we walked in the door I noticed a sprig of mistletoe above the threshold.

"Bella?" I whispered in her ear.

"Yes?" she asked. I pointed above our heads. She looked up and smiled brightly as I leaned over and kissed her. The kiss began as all our kisses usually do, sweet and chaste, but this time when Bella tried to deepen the kiss, a newfound confidence took over and I didn't pull away. When Bella's tongue ghosted across my lips, I opened my mouth to her and she did the same for me. Our tongues danced and explored one another and I was overcome by the sensations. Her mouth was so soft and warm, and she tasted incredible, almost better than her blood. I pulled her tighter to me and allowed our passion to take over the kiss when the chef, who also happened to be the owner, emerged from the kitchen. She was an older woman, plump with rosy cheeks and a smile that looked like it never faded. Her hair was silver and pulled up in a messy bun. She had a soiled apron on and was covered in flour.

"Sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds," the woman said with a laugh that came from deep in her belly. "You must be Edward and Bella Cullen, right?" Bella looked at me quizzically and I just smiled at her. It warmed my heart to no end when she smiled back.

"Yes, we are. How did you know?" I asked.

"Well, the other couple canceled, they had some sort of emergency, so it's just you two tonight. I'd already planned on cooking for four, so I was thinking that I would treat you to a wine tasting dinner tonight with samples of everything I had planned. How does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect. Thank you,…?" Edward asked.

"Marie. And you're very welcome. Let me show you both rooms and you can choose which one you want." Marie wiped her hands off on her apron and grabbed two keys from behind the desk. The first room was very frilly, Victorian style done in pinks and creams with lace doilies covering every horizontal surface. Bella scrunched her nose ever so slightly when Marie wasn't looking. The second room was much better; it had a beautiful oak sleigh bed, with a red velvet settee at the foot of the bed. There was a bouquet of fresh pine branches and cones in a basket on the antique dresser, and a small selection of books stacked neatly on the nightstand. This one also had the added advantage of having an adjacent bathroom with an authentic clawfoot tub. Bella and I quickly agreed on the second one and Marie left us with a cheery farewell. "Enjoy! Dinner will be done around 6, just let me know when you're ready."

As I set down our bags and proceeded to unpack, Bella looked around the room. The books made her laugh, and that tinkling sound warmed my heart. There was Wuthering Heights, The Complete Works of Shakespeare, and A Christmas Carol. It was so perfect she playfully accused me of having something to do with it.

I sat down on the bed and pulled her onto my lap. "I love you, Bella, you know that, right?"

She kissed me again softly before she answered. "I do. I love you, too. Do you know?" I ducked my head and averted her gaze. After everything I had learned from Emmett's thoughts, I couldn't honestly say I was certain of that anymore. "Edward, I think we need to talk about this, don't you?"

To be honest, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew she was right. It was time to face the music. "Bella, what really happened with you and Jasper?" I couldn't look at her, I didn't want to let her see the pain in my eyes.

She sighed a deep sigh before she began. "When you left to go hunting a few months ago, Jasper came to your room to see me. He convinced me that letting him teach me how to…touch myself…would make things easier on everybody. I only agreed because I knew I was pushing you farther than where you wanted to go, but I couldn't stop the need that burned in me every time you pulled away. Plus, we were apparently both driving Jasper crazy with our emotions."

"Bella, you don't really believe I don't want to be with you in that way, do you?" I implored.

"I don't know. I just know that every time you pull away I feel unwanted. Rejected. Not good enough. And on top of that, you leave me feeling aroused and frustrated. I needed the release." Bella lowered her head in shame, biting hard on her lower lip. The scope of what I'd put Bella through as a result of my fears finally sank in. In my desperation not to hurt her physically, I had hurt her emotionally. Guilt seared through my veins. But even more than the guilt, I felt this overwhelming need to show her how much I desired her. I decided it was time to put aside my ideas of gentlemanly courtship. I took her by the hips and turned her so she was straddling my lap. I kissed her once, twice, three times. Each time gaining in intensity until the third time I crashed our lips together and begged for entrance, which she granted. As we kissed, exploring each other with fervor, I pulled her hips against mine so she could feel my erection pressed hard between her legs. We both gasped at the contact, and Bella ground her hips against me as she kissed me again. I wound my hands behind her and gently squeezed her behind. The soft mounds of flesh in my hands, even through the fabric of her jeans, were so erotic that my member jerked and pulsed in response. I considered squeezing again, harder, but needed to be careful to stay in control.

Bella pulled back, breathless. "Edward, wait. I want this too, but there's more."

I sighed in defeat and scooted her back slightly on my lap. "Then what happened?"

"Alice told Jasper she had a vision of he and I… being intimate, so she gave him some rules and sent him to my house. She said that it was the only way that she saw any hope of us all staying together. I didn't sleep with him, not that that makes what we did right. I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, Edward! This all just got so out of hand." Bella was crying now, hiding her face in her hands, and I wished I could cry with her. I wiped her tears away with my thumb as I cupped her chin and lifted her head to face me.

"Do you love him, Bella?" I held my breath and every muscle in my body tightened the way a human's body does seconds before a car crash, preparing itself for impact.

"Yes, Edward, I do. I shared something special with him and I would be lying if I said that it didn't bring us closer." I thought I would die at that moment, if I wasn't dead already, but then she continued. "But I am in love with _you_ and I don't want to lose you." Sweeter words had never been spoken.

"I don't want to lose you, either, love. You are my life. Tell me something, was it purely the physical interaction that brought you closer to him?"

Bella hung her head again. "No. I felt that he was more honest with me, that he treated me more like an equal, and I liked that."

"You don't think I treat you like an equal?!" I was shocked by this. Bella turned to look me in the eye, and I suddenly saw fierce determination there.

"No, I don't, Edward. How many times have you hid things from me, or made decisions for me 'for my own good' without consulting me first? It makes me feel like you think I'm a child." Her voice trailed off at the end and she looked away from me again. She was right, after all. Every decision I made was in the interest of protecting her, but did I ever give her a choice? I realized then that my fears of physical intimacy were not the only way I was pushing her away from me. I had brought Bella on this trip so she could make a choice, but I realized suddenly that the one who needed to choose was me.

"You're right, I see that now. I try so hard to shield you from my world. I never take into account how that might make you feel. I can work on that, Bella, I can, if you give me a chance. Do you still want to be with me?"

"Can you ever forgive me for what I've done, Edward? I've betrayed you in the worst way." Bella's tears were unrelenting.

"Don't cry, My Bella. I could forgive you anything. Just promise me that it's over, and that it won't come between us."

Bella nodded, then looked at me through blood-shot eyes. "I'm going to have to talk to him, Edward. I want to be able to be friends with him. Can you handle that?"

"It's going to be hard on me for a while, Bella, I won't lie to you. Harder even than Jacob, but I will find a way to deal with it if I know you're still mine."

"I am yours, Edward. Forever." I wrapped my arms tight around her and buried my nose in her hair as I hugged her to me. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from me, and I knew then that I would, in fact, be able to move past this obstacle on the way to our happiness.

"Let's put this behind us, then, shall we? This weekend is about you and me, and nothing else, okay?"

"Agreed," Bella sniffled one last time, but I could tell the worst was behind us.

"Good, because I think dinner is about ready, love." I slid her off my lap and wrapped my arm around her waist as we made our way into the hallway.

"Edward, why did you agree to the wine tasting? You can't drink, and I'm not old enough to."

"Well, I _may_ have registered us as newlyweds. I didn't want anyone to think poorly of you for gallivanting around bed and breakfasts before you were married. So the wine-tasting seemed appropriate for the occasion. A glass or two won't hurt you, it's not like we're going out after," I lowered my head to whisper in her ear as I raised my hand up from her waist to just below her breast and ghosted my thumb over the lower curve for just a second, causing her heart to skip a beat. "Besides, I have plans for tonight that a glass or two of wine might make…easier…for you." Bella's breath hitched and I smirked a little in satisfaction. _Now if only I can manage to get through tonight without killing her. _I wished I could have a glass or two of wine myself to calm my nerves.

Dinner was an elegant but homey affair. The small dining room was lit with candles, and Marie would explain each course along with the wine she choose to pair it with. The meal started with a champagne toast with Marie to 'the happy couple', and I drank a sip to be polite. It tasted like soot, but there was a pleasant tickling sensation from the bubbles. The meal consisted of several entrees, including roast quail, doryfish, kobe beef, and pork tenderloin. Bella claimed each one to be more delicious than the last. It must have been good, because she cleaned her plate for every course, which made my pretending to eat so much easier. I just slipped half my food onto Bella's plate when she was done, so it looked like we both left a little 'to save room.' For dessert, Marie made a Grand Marnier soufflé, which smelled wonderful even to me, served with an ice wine. By the end of the meal, Bella was quite full and a little tipsy. Her cheeks were flush and even rosier than when she blushed and I found it quite endearing. We thanked Marie profusely for the wonderful dinner and were sent on our way with truffles to take with us for later. As soon as we were out of Marie's view, I picked Bella up bridal style and swooped her into our room. Bella started giggling.

"Something, funny, love?" _Definitely tipsy._

"You just," she giggled some more, "carried me over the threshold," more giggling "like we were really married."

"Well, then, since we're married, I guess that means I get to have my way with you now."

**Review and I'll put a Naked Cullen Boy with a carefully placed bow under your tree. ;) Happy Holidays Everyone!**


	23. Alt Chapter 17: New Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that.**

**A/N: Happy New Year! To answer a few questions at once, keep in mind that this is the Alternate Ending. The sequel will pick up where Jasper's ending left off. Oh, and if you hadn't figured it out yet, NDNF on Bella's necklace in the real ending stands for 'Never Doubt, Never Forget', which is what Edward said to Bella in the meadow their last night together. He bought the pendant before they broke up, but he added the charm after, 'cause he's sneaky that way. :)**

**While you are anxiously awaiting the final chapter of the alternate ending and the beginning of the sequel, go read Ascension by changedbyEdward. It is an amazing Alterna-Dawn story. You will fall in love with European Edward. The link for it is on my profile.**

"Well then, since we're married, I guess that means I get to have my way with you now." I raised my eyebrows at her playfully. Bella grew wide-eyed and then nodded her head quickly. I chuckled and set her down, taking a moment to evaluate her composure as she gathered her necessities and walked to the restroom for a human moment. Her face was flushed as though in a seemingly permanent blush and her nose was a little red. While it was actually quite endearing, I wanted to make sure that she was just tipsy, not intoxicated. She seemed to be walking fine, better than normal, actually, and although she was quite giggly, she was not slurring her words as she excused herself. While she was gone, I kicked off my shoes, lit some candles and pulled out my iPod to put on a playlist I had created just for the occasion. The first song on it was Clair de Lune. I knew it was cliché, but I wanted everything to be perfect. As I was turning down the bed sheets, a knock on the door distracted me from my task. I opened it to find Marie standing in the hall holding a silver tray with a pitcher of ice water, a thermos, two coffee mugs, two glasses, and a bowl of homemade marshmallows.

"Here you are, dears. I brought you some hot chocolate in case you get thirsty this evening. The fire in the living room should burn most of the night in case you want to roast a few of those marshmallows. I'm turning in now. I'll see you in the morning." I once again thanked her for her kindness and bid her good night.

Bella came back into the room shortly after Marie had retreated to her quarters. She looked stunning in a long white satin nightgown that went to her ankles, accentuated her curves in a subtle way, with spaghetti straps that criss-crossed in the back, a lace sweetheart neckline and a matching satin robe. "Alice," she said with a grumble, gripping a handful of material by her hip and letting it go with a huff.

"No, love, not this time. I'm afraid you have me to blame; I bought and packed everything for our weekend on my own. If you're unhappy with my choices, we can go shopping tomorrow and you can pick out whatever you like." She did look lovely, but it saddened me when I realized that deep down I knew she would probably not like the nightgown, but I bought it anyway because I liked it. I promised myself to not make that mistake again.

Bella looked instantly remorseful. "I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to insult you. It was a lovely gesture. It's just…not me. I'm much more comfortable in an old t-shirt and flannel pajamas. I guess they're not very sexy, though, are they?"

I crossed the room at lightning speed and tilted her head so she could see the truth in my words. "I promise that from here on out neither myself nor Alice will ever force or guilt you into wearing something you don't like. I will see to it." I took a lock of hair and placed it behind her ear before lowering down to whisper, "Besides, I think you look sexy no matter what you're wearing." I began nuzzling my nose against her jawline. The alcohol in her system had altered her scent a little, making it call to me a little less than usual. This is an added benefit, I thought with a smile. Maybe it will help to keep me from killing her.

"You do? Really?" Bella looked at me wide-eyed. I could tell she still didn't totally believe me.

"Yes, really," I said before kissing her deeply, running my fingers through her hair until her heart was palpitating and she needed to come up for air. "I thought we established that before dinner," I teased. Bella blushed, her cheeks a beautiful crimson emphasizing her cherry lips. I picked her up and sat her softly in the middle of the bed before joining her. I kissed her forehead, then her eyelids, followed by her nose and both cheeks before placing my lips reverently to hers.

"Bella, you have to promise me that if I hurt you, in any way, you'll tell me right away." I wondered briefly if Jasper had been as concerned with hurting her as I was, but I quickly pushed such thoughts away. I was not going to let my jealousy ruin our evening.

"I promise, Edward." Bella was biting her lower lip in anticipation and it swelled in a most delectable way. I bent down and, being cautious to wrap my lips around my teeth, sucked it into my mouth, licking it with my tongue. I could still taste the wine swirled with the taste of Bella. She moaned into my mouth as I gently caressed her tongue with my own.

I moved to her neck, placing gentle kisses down the length of her throat and along her collarbone before traveling to her shoulder. When I paused to slide the robe gently off her shoulders, I was forced to face my worst fears come to life. On my beautiful Bella's forearms were two handprint shaped bruises. I hissed at the sight of them and began shaking with dry sobs as the enormity of my failure overtook me. Bella leaned back against the headboard and pulled my head to her chest. She held me tight and ran her fingers through my hair while rubbing long, soothing strokes up and down my spine, whispering words of forgiveness until I was able to compose myself.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," I cried. "I really am a monster." I hung my head low but Bella put my face in her hands and looked me in the eye.

"Shhh, Edward, it's alright. We've both made mistakes. We've both learned from them. End of story. Please, don't let this ruin our night." She was right, I had eternity to chastise myself for my moment of weakness. Tonight was about new beginnings. Tonight was about putting the past in the past and focusing on the future. Tonight was about us, and I wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of that.

I slid the strap of her nightgown off her shoulder before continuing my exploration, chronicling every square inch of Bella's porcelain skin to memory as I went. As I began kissing a trail along her neckline, I slowly moved my fingertips up from their resting place on her waist to gently trace the curve of her breast. Bella moaned softly and closed her eyes but her facial expressions spoke volumes about the pleasure she was experiencing. I lifted her up onto her knees so I could remove the nightgown. I had seen many works of art depicting the female form, been forced to endure images of women both real and imagined in the minds of countless men over the years, including my own family members, but nothing had prepared me for the sight before me. She took my breath away. Perhaps Bella's clumsiness was a curse from Aphrodite borne from jealousy that Bella outshone her beauty tenfold. Her creamy vanilla skin, her soft curves, her tiny peaks that were hardening in the cool evening air, everything about her was perfection personified.

I gently lowered her into the soft mountain of pillows and kissed her briefly before lowering myself to her chest to the place where she had comforted me just moments ago. I laid my ear over her heart and listened to it beat erratically. I kissed her there before slowing trailing lower to kiss her breast, cupping it in my hand and suckling her tenderly, amazed at the way her nipple pebbled against my tongue. I kissed another trail to her other breast and repeated my ministrations. I could smell Bella's arousal increase and a flash of fear shot through me. Can I really do this without hurting her?

I lifted my head back up to her neck and inhaled deeply. While she still smelled good, the alcohol tainting her bloodstream definitely had an impact. My confidence was boosted. Her blood was not singing to me at all, and I found it surprisingly easy to focus on the moment.

I ran my hand along her side and across her bellybutton before finding the hem of her white satin panties. With one last burst of determination, I slid my hand under them to caress her most private area. It felt so wonderful; warm, soft, and slick with desire. I found her entrance and slid my finger slowly inside her as I buried my head in the crook of her neck. Bella gasped in pleasure and her hips flew up against my hand. I thrust in and out slowly a few times before removing my hand to assist her in removing her panties and quickly removing my own clothing.

Returning to Bella, I shifted my body so I was poised between her legs above her. I looked deep into her eyes and saw all the love and desire I was certain was reflected in my own. "Bella, are you sure?" I asked as I positioned myself at her entrance. She did not speak, just nodded her head in response. I kissed her again and whispered "I love you, my Bella" in her ear as I entered her. The sensation of truly being one with Bella was beyond comprehension. Here we were, she and I together, giving ourselves to each other in a way neither of us had ever done before. I could have lived in that moment forever.

I paused when I reached her barrier, and Bella must have sensed my hesitation because she wrapped her arms and legs and around me and whispered "Please…" I broke through with one short thrust and paused again when I was completely sheathed inside her. The scent of her freshly spilt blood mixed with her arousal nagged at my restraint, even with the alcohol aroma, and I swallowed hard to rid myself of the venom pooling in my mouth. Bella seemed to sense my struggle and kissed my bulging neck muscles sweetly but made no other move, allowing me to regain control, for which I was grateful. I looked at her and smiled to show her I was okay and she smiled in response.

Slowly, I pulled back almost completely and entered her again, building a slowly increasing rhythm while Bolero played in the background. As we both neared the edge, Bella tightened her legs around me and began thrusting her hips against mine in time with me. Suddenly she screamed my name as her muscles tightened and pulsed around me, sending me into sweet oblivion. When our bodies began to float down from our mutual climax and Bella unwrapped her legs from me, I flipped us over, still joined, so she could rest on top of me. We stayed that way for what seemed like hours. I caressed her back and kissed her forehead repeatedly while I waited for her breathing and heart rate to return to normal. I could still feel the aftershocks of her orgasm ripple around me, causing the most pleasurable involuntary twitches throughout my body.

"That was incredible, Edward," Bella whispered against my chest. "Better than I ever dreamt possible."

"For me as well, love," I replied as I kissed her forehead. "Sleep now, Bella, you must be tired."

"I should be sleepy, but I'm not. I'm much too happy and excited to sleep."

"Well, then, in that case, would you like to roast some marshmallows?" Bella's eyes gleamed in the candlelight at the idea. I regrettably removed myself from her and she kissed me once more before getting up to get dressed.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys have decided to ring in the New Year by putting on a Chippendales style show just for us! You don't need dollar bills to watch, just review! I'm so close to 2,000 reviews I can taste it, and it tastes like chocolate...**


	24. Alt Chapter 18: Releasing Bella

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Edward's POV**

I grabbed the tray and followed Bella down the hall to the living area. Since we were alone, the only sounds we heard was the crackling of the wood in the fire, and we found ourselves tip-toeing in spite of ourselves. It was really quite funny when we thought about it.

We settled in and I poured Bella some hot chocolate and put one of the marshmallows in it before grabbing one of the long metal roasting sticks that were propped up on one side of the fireplace. I could remember roasting homemade marshmallows when I was a kid. These ones, like the ones my mother used to give me, looked nothing like the ones you buy at the store now. They were made in a pan, cut into squares and were very, very sticky. I remembered that I used to hold them above the flames just enough that they would slow roast until the outside was a crisp, light brown shell encompassing all the melted gooiness inside. I had enormous patience, rolling my stick around slowly like a rotisserie until it was toasted to perfection. Bella, on the other hand, quickly shoved her marshmallow directly into the fire, then pulled it out, engulfed in flames, barely getting it blown out before it fell off the stick altogether. What remained was a charcoal black mess.

"Yumm" she exclaimed with great pleasure as she pulled the charred outside from the marshmallow, revealing the interior, which the flames did not have enough time to melt at all. She gobbled down the sticky cinder with fervor before shoving the remains back into the fire to repeat the process. Once again I found myself in awe of Bella and chuckled in spite of myself.

"Enjoying that?" I asked with a smile.

"So much! Sure you don't want to try some?" Bella teased.

"No, thank you. I have a feeling that would taste even more like ash than normal human food." I scoffed.

"Suit yourself. You don't know what you're missing," Bella mumbled with her mouth full. When she leaned her head back to drop another section of the marshmallow into her mouth, she got some of the sticky white dessert on her lower lip.

"Well, if you insist," I said as I leaned forward and sucked her lip into my mouth, licking it clean before leaning back into my chair. It definitely tasted like ash, but it was worth it just to see the shocked look on her face.

"Edward!" She laughed, and I laughed right along with her.

The rest of our trip continued much the same way. We went sightseeing, kissing and holding hands the whole time, then we would go back to the bed and breakfast for dinner with Marie. Afterwards, we'd made love half the night before finishing our evening in front of the fireplace with whatever treat Marie had dreamt up. We were Edward and Bella again, and it was perfect, as though nothing and no one else even existed.

Of course, we had to return to reality eventually and all too quickly we found our vacation coming to an end. There was an awkward silence between us on the plane ride back. I am certain we were both thinking about the same thing, but neither of us were sure how to bring it up. Finally, once we'd landed and made our way to the car, I decided we could stall no longer.

"What are you going to say to him, Bella?" Bella bit her lip and looked at her feet.

"I don't know. How about 'Let's be friends'?" She looked at me hopefully. I laughed a sad laugh.

"I'm not altogether certain I am the one you should be asking advice from this time. However, I suppose that's as good a way to approach it as any." I took a deep breath and sighed. "Bella, as hurt as I was by what happened," I heard Bella sob. "No, no tears, I've forgiven you, you know that. Just hear me out, as hurt as I was, it would be a lie of omission if I didn't tell you that he loves you. I heard it in his thoughts when I confronted you in the hallway. I saw it in his eyes. He will be upset, yes, but if he truly loves you as much as I suspect he does, then he will want you to be happy, and he will understand."

Bella looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "I love you. I don't deserve you, Edward, but I love you just the same."

I brushed a rogue tear away as it slid over the apple of her cheek. "What did you tell me at the hotel? You made mistakes. I made mistakes. We've forgiven each other. End of story. If I'm not allowed to beat myself up for the things I've done, neither are you." Bella smiled at me.

"Watch the road. And slow down, please?" Just like that, all was right with the world again.

When we approached the house, I could hear the nervous thoughts of everyone inside. They were waiting for us to enter, then they were all going to make their exits so Jasper and Bella could talk. Jasper, of course, was the most nervous of all. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

I took Bella's hand in a show of solidarity and was pleased when she did not object. We walked inside together to find our family in the living room, all eyes on us in serene understanding. Bella had made her choice, and they knew it. I turned to her and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back in half an hour, then we'll go to our meadow for a while, alright?" I knew Bella would be in need of comfort afterwards, and I would be in need of reassuring. Plus, I was sure Jasper would appreciate some time alone, so retreating to our meadow for the afternoon seemed like a good idea. Bella nodded and I left with the others.

**Jasper's POV**

"It's okay, Bella, I already know. Alice told me." The only thing left for me to do was try and make this as easy on Bella as possible. I could feel her heart breaking with my own. I struggled to keep my emotions in check.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. I do love you, I do. But Edward and I are…just meant to be. I never meant to hurt you." Bella collapsed next to me on the couch, crying, and I pulled her into my arms, wishing I could cry too.

"I know, darlin', I know. It's alright. It'll all be okay." I thought back to when I had said those words in her bedroom during our night together. We'd been through so much since then. I laid my cheek on top of her head and drowned myself in her scent one last time.

"How will it be okay, Jasper? I can't be with you, but I don't want to lose you, either." Bella sniffled into my chest.

I pulled back from her just a little and begged her to look at me. "You will never lose me, you hear me? Never. I told you, I want to be in your life in whatever capacity you'll have me. You've chosen, and I accept that. I will be your best friend, even better than Alice or Adrian because I'll never make you go shopping. Once I've regained Edward's trust, we'll be able to hang out and talk, I'm sure. It'll just take time." I kissed her nose. "Know this, though, Bella. I do love you. I always will. If Edward screws up again, I will be there in an instant, and I will fight for you. If ever you want me, I'm yours."

Bella looked up at me and nodded, tears flowing freely down her face. I brushed them away before taking her face in my hands. "One last kiss, darlin'?" I pleaded. Bella hesitated for a moment, biting her lower lip. I could feel she was conflicted. There was love and want, but there was also hesitation, doubt, and guilt. I was just about to tell her to forget it when my cell phone buzzed. It was a text message from Alice. _Edward says just one kiss._ I handed Bella the phone and she smiled before tossing it behind me on the couch and putting her arms around my neck as I held her tight. The kiss wasn't passionate, but sweet and filled with love and unspoken goodbyes to what could have been. With that kiss, I truly learned a lesson in release, because it was with that kiss that I finally released Bella.

_Fin_

**A/N: I was going to do an Epilogue, but I really think it feels right to end it here. If you haven't put me on author alert yet, please do. **

**Okay, my loves, the sequel is up, and I'm tagging this one complete! It's titled A Lesson in Fate. Jasper, Bella, Alice, Adrian and Edward head off to college. Jasper and Bella are happy and in love, but what happens when fate intercedes? Will Jasper keep the girl or will fate return her to Edward? Tune in to find out!**

**I've also posted the Prologue for a new story I'm working on called Redemption. Bella begs the Cullens to spare James' life at the ballet studio. He returns the favor by telling Alice the story of her life, a story he knows all too well. It is most definitely AU, and is rated T for now, but that might change.**

**If you haven't yet, check out NCB, Inc. Not much plot, just chapter after chapter of lemony fun. I'm making readers' wishes come true!**

**Oh, and just for Nam and a few others who felt Alice got left out, I'm going to add one more chapter to Edward's Release before I tag it complete.**

**I want to personally thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story and joining me on this amazing journey. I have made so many wonderful friends and have been so touched and moved by every response I have received.**

**Much love, Lillie**


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